Bridging Fantasy & Reality

Patience is required while I update my blog.... As most should already know, I use dial up, which means I have learnt to become very patient in the past few years and which indirectly means, you, my dear readers will have to be patient too as I sought means to post pictures of my remarkable travels via a hassle free way....

The reason I'm using extra small font is to ensure that anyone who clicks on my link experiences some sorta challenge....albeit, only squinting and grimacing.....just so that you don't go %$*^%$, she hasn't updated her blog yet!!!

Apart from this blog, I have to update the rotaract blog. And after slogging with yesterday's presentation with Eu Sheng at the SyUC library which brought back LOADS of pleasant and unpleasant deja vu episodes, I am not too thrilled to start all over again.

Anyhow, here's a small sneak preview of what's to come. The APRRC was GREAT , so awesome that I can assure you that some of us participants didn't mind if the whole thing went on for a year or more. People there were so PASSIONATE about rotaract, they lived and breathed for the club. It was nice to be the less passionate one for once... Back here, I feel disillusioned ever so often. It was a whole different situation there. People did things without being asked, they knew where the boundaries lay and they went all out. I guess the reason we had so much fun was because despite being so different from each other - speaking different languages, and having different cultures, we all felt exactly the same way about one thing - Rotaract. Everything else was a blur haze amidst the rotaract-ive spirit that engulfed A Famosa resort from the 24th to the 28th of August.

More awaits............

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I'm BAaaaaaaaaackkkkk!

Whoa! A lot has happened in the last few days! I had a great half an hour or so net surfing and catching up with everyone. Thank God for blogs!

Kuching was awesome! Everything about it.... 4 days was all it took for me to make a whole lot of new friends, to learn that journalism is not all that it's cut up to be on the surface and to explore (...albeit not fully) a very cultural land.

Will blog about it soon. I'm just so freakin lazy right now. ANd i have to pack! Yet again for the Asia Pacific Rotaract Regional Conference (APRRC) at Malacca tomorrow. I haven't even unpacked! Sigh!

In the mean time, watch out for the Sunday STAR.... My pictures might not appear but u'll get a good picture of what happened in Kuching. 8 page pullout k!!!

And she's off again!!!!!!!!

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" Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instance is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever." - One Tree Hill, season 4

Bright . Roving . Annoying . Teen am I?????

The reason it sounds so wrong in my context kan, is coz I don't really see myself much as the last three letters represent. I'm definitely bright (.....excuse me in my syok sendiri phase) but not much annoying/maybe a little roving and right now, i don't really feel like a teen. Much rather, like an aged teen. I guess tomorrow will be the day I find out if i fit into the annoying, roving, teen category. 4 gruelling days of field assignments, journalism workshops, minggling with other brats, sleeping in/on foreign grounds (which doesn't matter, really considering I can sleep through a hurricane..), eating food prepared by someone other than my mom, not engaging in physical activity, and wondering if journalism really is for me.... This could either turn into an endearing, mind blowing experience or a tragic regretful one. Either way, I've signed up for it. So come rain or shine, tomorrow, I will be boarding that flight with the hoardes of people (...young, fancy school-going teens) that I will have to be nice to / feign nice-ness, at least for the next four days. Talk about excitement! This is the very first time I'll be boarding the plane ALONE okayyyyyyy! You can't really blame me for being all twitchy and turvy....

You know what the worse thing about travelling is? The packing! Ugh. I cannot pack to save my life. I started at around 7 pm and finished at 10 pm. Wanna know what I did while packing??? I occupied at least three rooms (...occupied here means ran in n out and tossed each room upside down), I blasted the radio, I deleted all the unwanted pictures in my digital camera while charging it, I made a huge mess outta my closet, I sms-ed Aida, Cassie, Adam and Rotarian Raja about miscellanous stuff, I think I danced to one of Fergie's songs, then I browsed through Sabrina's SATs Princeton Review book while toppling shirts and trousers into my tiny weeny bag, I ran around trying to find toothpaste, I wrote a 'more stuff to take' note on a post it although I knew my bag would burst at the seams if I stuffed anything else into it and many many many other things amongst the rest.........

You know why I think the worse thing about travelling is the packing? Because I worry while I pack. I worry that what I'm packing may not be enough, there's always always that feeling that I've somehow managed to leave something out. I worry about the next day. Will I have the fun that I'm hoping to have? Will there be enough water for me to consume so that I'm not bogged down with a mammoth sized migraine? Will I appear uptight and reserved? Will I? Will I? Will I? I worry about what I'm leaving behind. Will rotaract survive without it's president? Will the rotarians be trying to call me? Will something bad happen?? Will I miss out on something so spectacular that regret might not even be the word to describe it later on?? Worse case scenario? I come back to a bombed up city - Heroes style....

unicef Draconian : U worry too much!
Life is bootifool....well most of d time ne way : does it really show that much?

Well duh!

So I'm done packing now. And worries is just so yesterday! *rolls eyes*

A happy-fying sms
" In my opinion, ur doing great as a president. U r solving the num 1 prob in the club that many presidents before u could not do, membership." - Rotarian Raja, New Generations Director
*Weeeeee*

Got the sms while I was at the New Zealand education fair and it brightened up my day, just a tad. The fair was great... New Zealanders are pretty friendly, although they seem a little lacking in the energy department and they kinda have bad breath. LOL. But praises to their immaculate manners! Found out heaps about University of Auckland. So in NZ, i managed to sum it down to either Wellington Uni or Auckland... My first choice is still America, which also means, I'm definitely taking a gap year..... I'm thinking so many things right now. Student exchange, work experience... Anything exp lazing at home coz that'll just ruin me!

Gotta go get my beauty sleep now. These few days have been so hectic. From rotaract meetings, to shopping for formal clothes for the APRRC, to meeting up with friends, to exploring colleges and signing up for tests. Whoa. Gotta wake up at 4 am tomorrow coz my flight leaves early.

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I can freaking hear it!!!

Kahlil Gibran once wrote, " Your reason and your passion are the rudder.. and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion unattended, is a flame that burn to it's own destruction."

It took me three reads and a half to really comprehend what Mr. Gibran was talking about.. Don't mock me!! At least I did figure it out albeit not as fast as 'some' would've but I did! Correct me if I'm wrong but in direct translation, it kinda says that reason and passion complement one another. You gotta have both, only then will your aspirations be achieved.

My hopes of sitting for Eng lit for the SATs instead of one of the sciences kinda got reignited while I was deciphering the context of Mr. Gibran's oh-so-complicated mind. Let's just say, I have the passion to do it but honestly, no reason. So should I turn away? Or should I start looking for a reason??

I have been procrastinating registration for the longest time ever! Sorry Nirms! Will register as soon as I meet up with Sabrina Chan from Tufts Uni tomorrow. Sabrina's back from Tufts for her summer break and she's the one who's gonna be answering my tumultous questions and dealing with my hapless confusion. Adam is doing his best but he keeps needing to go off to Singapore which honestly, is irritating. Sigh! And the books! OmIgOOSh! Expensifnya!! There're hundreds, no make that millions, of em stacked up in MPH and they're all so different, you'd think they were for separate tests all together. I keep scanning through them and going "oh, this one's good" *scan* *scan* "no, this one's better!" *scan* "but this one's cheaper and that one's ballistically overpriced! Gee!". Then there's the issue of scholarships and applying for New Zealand. All this applying. I cannot TAHAN anymore!

Someone's feeling horny. Not for anyone, just horny. Period. AND, note! I didn't say it was me!!

That aside, Rotaract's being rotaract-ive.... I'm afraid of my members goin through a burnout and seems to me like some of em are beginning to show signs of burnout syndrome.. Leez's post was an indication of it. Chillax girl! And Ben's all MABECS right now so I'd rather not disturb him, although I'm still gonna have to bug him to plan out games... Cass is starting uni on thursday! Which is like, on *shrieks* thursday!!! Will try and take it slow ppl, no worries! On a cheerier note, I'm so proud of you guys for making our projects a hit! TQ!

ANd, yep, someone tried to hit on me today. I'm not saying this with pride but I am partly flattered and mostly creeped out. Eeks! I think I'm getting used to the whole I-am-gonna-stalk-u-for-now-til-u-show-signs-that-ur-never-gonna-answer-my-calls-period phenomenons. Whoa! Talk about experience teaching you tonnes. Another lesson I've learnt from the recruitment drive? NEVER ever, let anyone publish your phone number on all 500 flyers Very stupid idea! It should've just been Ben's name there and perhaps Wen Wei's... LOL. Will never forget Sunisha's looks as she sat there pretending to stare at Lleyton Hewitt and Bec Cartwright and not salvaging me from the misery but just shooting me shocked, awe induced looks as the dude spoke. And Cassie mouthing "he likes youuuu??" from the other side of the table. Oi! Rescue la u guys!! Sheesh! Oh, well, at least i managed to squeeze out a measley one ringgit from him in the name of charity. For an international dude, he sure knows his coins well...

Eek! Better go now before I get nauseated and throw up all over the computer.

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There are some things that I try to understand but just do can't seem to....

like Why am I feeling so irritated right now when everything in my life seems so placidly fine?

like How can commitment be measured?

like Why procrastination gets to us all at times?

like Why in the world do so many choose to study in Australia and claim they go there for the international experience when, really, are there any international students there amongst the multitudes of Malaysians swarming what's left of down under??
Disclaimer : I have nothing against those studying there/choosing to, it's just something I don't get........

like How the universal law sucks sometimes?

like Why the future can be so uncertain to the point of making one feel so insecure?

like How you can go from completely adoring a person to completely hating his/her guts all in the time frame of a year?

like How can someone feel so sure of oneself, so confident and stead and a second later be shrouded in self doubt?

like Why the best the thing that can ever happen to a person can sometimes be the worst?

like Why we sometimes fail to get these things but still go about trying to fathom them?

like Who decides? When are decisions made? Based on what?

WHy, WHo, WHen, HoW, WHat???

Some things are better left in a blanket of mystery... Unfathomed, Unprovoked, Under covers..

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Perfection! Sigh.....

Hehe. Guess where I'm blogging from? Cassie's place!!! I can hear Nirm in the shower and I reckon Cassie is sleeping.... For the record Cass, this computer's so sleek and the contrast is as sharp as a knife!! It's better than the plasma PC my bought....

Anywayz, we finally got back our results today. Funny. I had a really good sleep yesterday. ANd a really good swim today apart from the slight lack of stamina. Followed by a really delicious lunch while watching Grey's Anatomy... (yep, mom actually bought the whole of season 3, too bad they've almost finished airing it on tv) My point is, it seemed like any other normal day. Not like a today-i-get-my-results day. Until, I received Jacintha's message claiming that Mr Chong called her to congratulate her on her qualitatious (???!!?) performance.... which reminds me, CONGRATULATIONS JACINTHA!! AND EVERYONE OUT THERE WHO GOT WHAT THEY GOT! PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE CAN BE CONSIDERED AN ACHIEVER LA... except me that is, coz I set extraordinarily high standards for myself... And I demand only the best from myself although I expect the worst... So the 3As (GP, Bio and Chem) plus 1B (FreAkinG math!!!) that I managed to get was not good enough.... Expected. But honestly, not good enough. If only I hadn't missed out that question........!!! If only I could go back in time and finish off that question. Ugh!! The perfectionist!!

WTV. Can't wallow any longer! Have to focus on the SATs now.... I feel like swopping eng lit with math. There was a time when I used to LURve math. Oh how much has changed!!

We're about to....i think so....leave for Wan Ling's house soon... If these girls get dressed soon that is, and if we don't lose our way which I strongly doubt considering I have no sense of direction whatsoeva... Hope the night goes well... Might go clubbing y'know! *scoff*

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" We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call. No way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down..... With us trapped, locked in it" Tennessee Williams

I am being choked with flames. As dusk turns to dawn and dawn turns to dusk, a sickening mechanical countdown is going on in my head. Five more days to the 9th. Four more days to the 9th. 3 more days to the 9th and now there's two freaking more days to the freaking 9th... How much more freaky can this get? Yes, I am living in a house of fire and it seems to me that there is no upstairs windown for me to look out of. There's just the flames, dousing me in third degree burns....... And considering I'm burning, I can only blog in point form til I see that bright white light that calls to me...

• French man meets burning girl with russian name in pool a few days ago. French man praises burning girl's swimming technique. Burning girl delighted and overwhelmed with flattery. French man urges burning girl to start competing. Burning girl is still contemplating it. French man also wonders why burning girl has russian name, burning girl claims her parents are weird. Burning girl says goodbye and frenchman announces his name-Dominic for the world to hear.

• Burning girl excited about plans for the next couple of days. Wednesday morning : Outing with Shal, lunch and Simpsons. Burning girl can't w8 to set the cinema on fire. *Whee* Wednesday evening : Rotaract meeting with new members. The president is on fire! Thursday : this is the day when burning girl finally finds out if she has to go into the light or if she will be rescued from being burnt to death. Burning girl, dead or alive, has to then meet Mr Bernard and hide disappointment/excitement (....upon receiving results) to discuss setting up a recruitment booth in SyUC. Burning girl will then join her college mates for a reunion and the set the club on fire while clubbing with her friends. Friday : Burning girl has no time to hang up her party shoes or nurse her hangover coz she has to wake up early and join Leeza in the kitchen for their baking hiatus... Burning girl hopes she does not end up burning the muffin. Friday lunch : Burning girl will then drive Leeza and herself to 1U, reunion with primary school mates... woohooooo! Evening : Burning girl returns to kitchen to bake more!! Saturday : burning girl hopes this will be a resting day where she will be able to try and put out the flames that is engulfing her. Sunday : Burning girl must head out early to amcorp mall to set up booths for flea market sale to raise funds for rotaract.... Burning girl crosses her fingers for good sale.... That's til the end of this week.
• Burning girl also delighted she made new friend...

This is ridiculous! I can't talk like that anymore, I sound like I just came out of the jungle... Like Tarzan or someone.

Burning girl must leave now. She has to look for some charity organization to work with in lieu of RAC Bandar Sunway.

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Saturday

Last day of work and everyone was treating me like I was going of to study in Timbuktu... I felt, sorta indifferent in a way. Relieved yet a tad saddened by the whole thing....

The picture is of Kak Mas and me. She's the diet technician with the sexiest voice on the planet. Seriously! Call the dietetics dept at SMC and ask for Kak Mas.... You'll be seduced instantly by that sultry voice...


Here's me and Daphne, Diet technician no 2.. Daph's my chat buddy - during work and when both of us have nothing better to do.

In the background, not that you can see much of it, was my temp office.... but so was the diet tech's dept, the board room and the lounge area so I guess it doesn't really count... LOL But in that glass thingy there right, there're a lot of fake food! And i mean A LOT!!! If only my hair was a little less voluminised you'd be able to see some..

Me and Yee Voon, the in patient dietician. She's the one who constantly tells me that she's envious of my job.... I'll never know why??

This is the lounge area... there's a sitting area on the left hand side.. The yellow papers are thank you notes from dieticians to dieticians, diet techs to dieticians and vice versa...





From left : Koh Pei Ling, Me and Miss Yang. Pei Ling's the outpatient dietician. Miss Yang's the senior dietician, hence the 'Miss'. Both babysat me through my stint... Pei Ling's great to talk to and very bubbly where as Miss Yang's caring and loves her coat to bits, u can never see her without it....

Didn't take pictures of the LEAN team coz they were designated all over the place... Bleh...

Later at night we went for RAC Melawati's installation night at KKlub in Taman Melawati (yes, near the zoo). It was a looooong drive and Ben drove us in his super large, super air conditioned, super scratched (sorry ben!! Ur car still very nice) Carnival... A bit scary at first... He didn't go very fast la but it's Ben, and it was the first time I was being driven by him so the jitters were unavoidable...

Anyway, we reached there safely and earlier than expected as well so we decided to shoot some hoops before attending the formal event... Yep, so we headed over to the Kids Club (..initially, to go to the toilet) and wasted one ringgit notes on the basket ball machine thingy... What we didn't realize, and only started to after being bombarded by balls contiuously, was that each time you hit a 5o something score, u could move up to the next level..... FOR FREE! We ended up feeding the thing more one dollar notes even when we did fifty and then we had to play ALL the extra games and wash our hands at least thrice.... Bunch of noobies! Tell me abt it......

Went for dinner, made some friends (thx to Ben), took some pix (updated on the RCBS blog by IS director, Leeza Foo - click on the link on my blog), ate dinner (bluek), played nifty games, won some presents (...very lucky night) and danced the night away... Pretty enjoyable for our first night out as rotaractors...

Today

Walk.......... Walk........... Walk............. Tried to distribute flyers but tooo shy... Sigh... How the hell to approach people outta the blue and insist that they join the club?? Too weird la... But Ben did a pretty good job. He had that approachable, friendly, gesture about him... After going to Metropolitan, we kinda gave up and decided to leave all up to fate... Headed to McDs and started trying to get people to join via calls... not very effective but desperate times call for desperate measures... Sent the two guys back and then sent Leeza back home, and endured her threats to quit rotaract and join Leo coz she didn't wanna see my face too often... To sum up the day, egos got trashed, skin got darker, feet got calused, spirit got (a little) doused and hope got lost a little...

Hope wednesday goes well though... Here's a little ad :

ROTARACT CLUB OF BANDAR SUNWAY IS RECRUITING - WE'RE LOOKING FOR FUN LOVING, PREFERABLY HOT, COMMITTED, UN-LAZY SOULS WHO WILL COME AND JOIN IN THE FUN.

DETAILS?? COME FOR THE CLUB MEETING AT SUNWAY HOTEL AT 5.30 PM ON WEDNESDAY, LEVEL 10... FOR MORE ENQUIRIES, CALL ME...

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" All are architects of fate.... living in these walls of time. So look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again" -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's my last few days of work!! As much as my enthusiasm to devour the sense of emancipation once again goes, I have to admit that my month long stint in SMC was a very gratifying experience. I went from a twitchy skeptical intern who could not wait to jump outta the office as soon as the clock struck 5 to an eager and rather creative one who didn't mind putting in the extra hours despite the stagnant paycheck.....

Dr Su Lin and Miss Yang agreed to allow me to work from home (weeeeeeeee) beginning thursday and so here I am, keying in data while listening to some conundrum with comfy shorts and a ragged t shirt donned on my in-need-of-a-stretch torso. Despite the multitude of distractions strewn across my path, working from home is more satisfactory than being an office nomad at times....(although I miss talking to the colleagues that I've come to adore). No endless hours of pondering about a suitable ensemble to wear to work or what shade of lipstick would suit the chosen ensemble or if I would be late due to the unpredictable traffic or if outta the blue, someone would suddenly realize that it was time for me to stop wearing open-toe heels. At home, it's just me, my music and the silence that encapsulates the household. Oh, and not forgetting, my personal assistant who helps me with my job outta sympathy - my dearest mummy!

Yep, last night she tediously helped me key in over 300 odd data information without much complain... I did the analysis and she helped with the easier part. And then, i stopped to watch America's Next Top Model while she continued... Yes, I did feel kinda bad for a while and then it vanished. LOL

Anyway, speaking of the past, I think my past will be coming back to haunt me sometime next week... I groan whenever I think of the 9th of August. It jostles around in my memory and turns it to mush before I try and purge out the mere thought and replace it with a picture of angels floating in heaven. I don't even feel like going back to get my results, maybe I'll just ask mom to do it for me and then discard it on the highway while she's driving back. Never having to know beats knowing and feeling disappointed. Sigh!

I finally decided what I want to do with my life, or at least for now.... After months of sourcing and hunting, I realize that the US education system is best suited for people like me (read: indecisive and undecided). I'm hoping to get into the liberal arts and science faculty in a college/uni that will have me. Unfortunately, the realization came along a tad too late, meaning, I might have to take a whole year off so that I can sit for the SATs, start applying and wait for interviews/approval letters... Besides, the next intake that I am legible for is not until September next year... So, yea, I'd probably be an old hag amidst the youngsters in the campus. The competitive nature of US unis is quite worrying but with the time that i have, I assume I will be able to be involved tremendously in many programmes just so I will be considered for some sorta need-blind financial aid. Will be sitting for the SATs sometime in October, the 2 standard papers and 3 subjects tests..... Wondering if TOEFL is absolutely necessary though?? As good backups, I will be applying for other unis as well, the ones in NZ particularly...

Dear darling Shalini will be leaving for Makassar (???!!?) Island to pursue a career in medicine soon. It's true, everyone is leaving and I (not you, Sher!) might be the last one to go... So weird that I won't be seeing her anymore. It was the exact feeling I got when Adam was set to leave. He on the other hand, is all game to jet set off to Somalia on an anthropology research assignment.... sigh! The destinations life takes you to....

Better get back to work now, don't want to get fired one day before my contract ends....

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