Friday, June 5, 2009

&^%&^%^$^%$%^%$$$*&(@*&(*#&(#*!!!!

4:59 AM

I am very frustrated right now. Even a trip down to chocolate boutique and then a detour to the arcade with Andrew, Hamannop and Adelynn didn't cut it for me. I didn't get my biopsych essay back today. While all my friends went on and on about how well/badly they had done, I was left stressing about where MY essay had disappeared to.

Never in a thousand years did I expect myself to get into trouble with authority. But I don't have a good feeling this time around. I feel like shouting "fuck the world" from atop a roof somewhere. But I can't. My frustration is just pent up within my tiny balls of fists. Waiting to explode. All I can think of was perhaps I didn't include enough in text citations and now they're going to penalize me for plagiarism. And this is one paper I have to do well in! Knowing that there is a possibility that I might fail is just killing me. You have NO idea. Absolutely no idea. My paranoia has reached fatal levels. I feel like as if I am grappling with impossibility. Hanging on for dear life onto nothing.

What I don't bloody understand is, why leave me in the dark? If I did something wrong, just freaking tell me already. Don't send me from one person to another and then tell me to make an appointment with my lecturer to 'discuss' my essay. eff the world, seriously! I'd think the psychology dept would have more sense than that. How can you just mess with someone during a study break, leave her in the dark and expect a weekend to go by without her freaking out about whether or not she will be failing her core paper?!?!? that is insane ok. How am i supposed to concentrate on anything else? And study. For my other papers?!?

This has never happened to me before. I am now officially shaken to my core, afraid, overwhelmed with anxiety, agitated. you name it. And all I CAN do at this point is wait for my lecturer to get in touch with me. If you're reading this, please say a prayer for me. Coz I think I damn well will be needing it.

verdict will be reported soon. stay tuned.

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