the now
1:54 AM
somebody used my pot today. to make their spaghetti and i am so freaking pissed. coz that pot was freaking expensive n them leaving it on the sink meant it ran the risk of being discarded in the discard room downstairs where all the other discarded utensils are. n then i realized. omg. karma works in the most amazing of ways. coz i have done some of those things in the past. n just like that my anger subsided. fizzle.
somebody walked into my room today with his/her stinky feet. all this while i was trying to figure out why my room smelled like sock pudding. n when i couldn't figure it out. when i was just too tired to figure it out. i bought an air freshner for my room. so it'd smell like lavendar. n today, that someone walked in again. n for a moment my room smelled like sock pudding. ironically, this person, on whom the smell lingered, was the one person who would not shut up about the smell. but today was different. as soon as i was left alone, the smell was gone. n all that remained was lavendar air freshener. =D
someone asked me out for coffee today. I didn't feel like coffee. but me being me, I craved the attention. n so I hopped along to the coffee shop for a shot of attention. n as i sat there, i felt myself float toward the ceiling and look down at myself. why was i putting myself through this. there was no rush. was a compromise really necessary. and then. just right at that moment. when all those thoughts were flooding my mind. the other walked past. i saw him through the glass window. i'd recognize that face anywhere. those sculpted shoulders, towering over toned abs and tanned arms. yummy. yuck. look at me with all these forbidden thoughts.
yet, his presence left me with a deep sense of curiosity. how he remained so unperturbed in my presence. not a even a flinch where a few others failed to exert composure. the suaveness. the unrelenting silence. the furrowed eyebrows that didn't even let out a whisper. the hint of neuroses. it was all too exciting. and i realized. that i would continue to long for things i could never have. maybe, it was the longing that kept me on my feet. =0 what's frustrating is. i could just have this one in the bag if i wanted it bad enough. so close yet so far away. still. i question myself. is this really something that I want?
Coz there ARE things that I know that i REALLY do want. Like, for instance, getting into the neuropsych class for stage 3 of my degree. I know i really want to study the brain further. no matter how sciencey. but this is no easy feat. 5.0. that's what my GPA should be. and i expect to be surrounded by geniuses if i do gain access. thing is. i am no genius. i thrive solely on sheer hard work. will sheer hardwork make the cut? that's something else i have to think about.
for now. there're the exams to keep my thoughts occupied. n malaysia to look forward to. and i pray to God that nothing else will intrude.
somebody walked into my room today with his/her stinky feet. all this while i was trying to figure out why my room smelled like sock pudding. n when i couldn't figure it out. when i was just too tired to figure it out. i bought an air freshner for my room. so it'd smell like lavendar. n today, that someone walked in again. n for a moment my room smelled like sock pudding. ironically, this person, on whom the smell lingered, was the one person who would not shut up about the smell. but today was different. as soon as i was left alone, the smell was gone. n all that remained was lavendar air freshener. =D
someone asked me out for coffee today. I didn't feel like coffee. but me being me, I craved the attention. n so I hopped along to the coffee shop for a shot of attention. n as i sat there, i felt myself float toward the ceiling and look down at myself. why was i putting myself through this. there was no rush. was a compromise really necessary. and then. just right at that moment. when all those thoughts were flooding my mind. the other walked past. i saw him through the glass window. i'd recognize that face anywhere. those sculpted shoulders, towering over toned abs and tanned arms. yummy. yuck. look at me with all these forbidden thoughts.
yet, his presence left me with a deep sense of curiosity. how he remained so unperturbed in my presence. not a even a flinch where a few others failed to exert composure. the suaveness. the unrelenting silence. the furrowed eyebrows that didn't even let out a whisper. the hint of neuroses. it was all too exciting. and i realized. that i would continue to long for things i could never have. maybe, it was the longing that kept me on my feet. =0 what's frustrating is. i could just have this one in the bag if i wanted it bad enough. so close yet so far away. still. i question myself. is this really something that I want?
Coz there ARE things that I know that i REALLY do want. Like, for instance, getting into the neuropsych class for stage 3 of my degree. I know i really want to study the brain further. no matter how sciencey. but this is no easy feat. 5.0. that's what my GPA should be. and i expect to be surrounded by geniuses if i do gain access. thing is. i am no genius. i thrive solely on sheer hard work. will sheer hardwork make the cut? that's something else i have to think about.
for now. there're the exams to keep my thoughts occupied. n malaysia to look forward to. and i pray to God that nothing else will intrude.
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