Sussing it Out
6:37 PM
"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need." Greys anatomy, season 3
Wow. This is weird. I suddenly feel that I have lots to blog about. And this hasn’t happened in a long while. My posts seem to be lacking in substance of late. Suddenly it’s all about presidency and stages of my uni application and other random nonsensical stuff. Tried to pimp up my blog just to make it more read worthy but failed desperately. I still do not understand what I’m, doing wrong on the edit HTML page. Bah!
So, to begin with, today’s rota meeting was super fun towards the ending stages. I thought it was gonna be overbearing with formality and lacking in entertainment. But then, entertainment came in the form of Bernard. He might be overtly direct and perverse in every way possible but Bernard is definitely the life of every party la. And even if he isn’t, he’ll make sure that it ends up that way. Today was probably the first time I witnessed Cassie in a completely I-have-no-idea-what-to-say stumped position. The gutsy Cassie that we all know lost her caustic tongue. Who would’ve thought, after those endless verbal matches with Mike? Anyhow, we had pizza with Dinesh, Bernard and Calvin, our “honorary” guests and then engaged in verbal diarrhea. Wah! Just realized that there’re so many rotaract trips lined up for us. There’s the InterConference next weekend, RotaConference in January (which Leez had to go and spoil for me by revealing ski ride information to the whole world!) and then the RotaBBq, masterminded by Cass. And RotaCarwash. And Cheshire Home visit with interactors. And RotaAwards Night (which is sposed to be like a red carpet event!) which I can’t attend *sobs*. And today Dinesh presented me with more citations that I had to fulfill before leaving to Moo Moo land. Righta.
*Flashback to approximately ten mins before meeting*
Images. Of me zooming like freaking Schumacher to pick Leez up from Puchong. Of Dinesh (VIP needing presidential attention) waiting in the foyer, shaking his head at the lack of professionalism. Of me calling Cass and finding out that she still didn’t have transport. Of me calling Shaun like psycho.
*********
That aside. Apparently, lots of people have a problem understanding why New Zealand is my chosen study destination and why in the world major in psychology? I could tell them to bloody hell mind their own business and poke their noses into their own pants. This is my decision right? One for me to make? And maybe I’m making the wrong one. Who knows? There always gonna be that fear that maybe I just tossed myself into a heap of crap… And worse, am unable to make it out of the crap even if I wanted to later on. But then, if I don’t take the leap then I’ll never know. And I think, not knowing, is worse than knowing but hating.
Considering I am a good person, with an evil name apparently, I will not turn you away and tell you to go jab your nose into a pile of sheep poop. I seemingly have the time and will to explain (although I had a mere 3 hrs of sleep last night) my choices.
New Zealand, because it’s a place that not many choose to go. I still do not know of anyone who is going/even has applied to NZ to date. I don’t understand why coz the University of Auckland is ranked 50th in the world. Much to my advantage though, this works superbly for me. I’d like to start completely anew with every new phase of my life. It gives me room for improvement and it allows me to reinvent myself in any way I’d like to. Intimidating as it might seem, especially for me, who has never been without company for a very verrry long time, I think that this might actually make me a stronger person. At present, I have my friends, who I meet on a constant basis. But how far along in a friendship do you stop nurturing? I don’t wanna grow complacent. I want to know that my friends are there because my perpetual growth in personality drew them towards me. Haha, sounds a bit odd when I put it that way but I don’t want to take my friends for granted la. I wanna know that they’re there for reasons.
*I am continuing this post after a one day, hence the lapse in dates
Psychology coz I’ve always been fascinated with people and their behavior. It’s in my blood to always want to know why people act the way they do. Why they think the way they do. Why some are manipulative and others have low self esteem. Why some choose to torture themselves and others choose to stay quiet when they see other people being tortured. Why the human mentality works the way it does. Maybe someday, I might be able to debunk the weirdest of the weirdest behaviors and write a book a bout it. But my mom is pretty sure that I’ll map my way out into something else, perhaps health and fitness. She has this preoccupation with me opening a body, mind and soul fitness center. All these silly yet adorable ideas etched in her overactive little mind.
What people might not know is the Bachelor of Science covers a range of topics. Hence, although I’ve stated my major as psych, I am free to pick minors to do during each semester such as biomedical science, physiology, marine biology and biological sciences amongst others. So I will be able to explore at the same time and if I end up liking one of my minors as opposed to the chosen major, I am allowed to switch. Plus there’s the general education thing, which I think is pretty fun. You get to study languages/about music and culture. Anything which floats your boat.
So, to begin with, today’s rota meeting was super fun towards the ending stages. I thought it was gonna be overbearing with formality and lacking in entertainment. But then, entertainment came in the form of Bernard. He might be overtly direct and perverse in every way possible but Bernard is definitely the life of every party la. And even if he isn’t, he’ll make sure that it ends up that way. Today was probably the first time I witnessed Cassie in a completely I-have-no-idea-what-to-say stumped position. The gutsy Cassie that we all know lost her caustic tongue. Who would’ve thought, after those endless verbal matches with Mike? Anyhow, we had pizza with Dinesh, Bernard and Calvin, our “honorary” guests and then engaged in verbal diarrhea. Wah! Just realized that there’re so many rotaract trips lined up for us. There’s the InterConference next weekend, RotaConference in January (which Leez had to go and spoil for me by revealing ski ride information to the whole world!) and then the RotaBBq, masterminded by Cass. And RotaCarwash. And Cheshire Home visit with interactors. And RotaAwards Night (which is sposed to be like a red carpet event!) which I can’t attend *sobs*. And today Dinesh presented me with more citations that I had to fulfill before leaving to Moo Moo land. Righta.
*Flashback to approximately ten mins before meeting*
Images. Of me zooming like freaking Schumacher to pick Leez up from Puchong. Of Dinesh (VIP needing presidential attention) waiting in the foyer, shaking his head at the lack of professionalism. Of me calling Cass and finding out that she still didn’t have transport. Of me calling Shaun like psycho.
*********
That aside. Apparently, lots of people have a problem understanding why New Zealand is my chosen study destination and why in the world major in psychology? I could tell them to bloody hell mind their own business and poke their noses into their own pants. This is my decision right? One for me to make? And maybe I’m making the wrong one. Who knows? There always gonna be that fear that maybe I just tossed myself into a heap of crap… And worse, am unable to make it out of the crap even if I wanted to later on. But then, if I don’t take the leap then I’ll never know. And I think, not knowing, is worse than knowing but hating.
Considering I am a good person, with an evil name apparently, I will not turn you away and tell you to go jab your nose into a pile of sheep poop. I seemingly have the time and will to explain (although I had a mere 3 hrs of sleep last night) my choices.
New Zealand, because it’s a place that not many choose to go. I still do not know of anyone who is going/even has applied to NZ to date. I don’t understand why coz the University of Auckland is ranked 50th in the world. Much to my advantage though, this works superbly for me. I’d like to start completely anew with every new phase of my life. It gives me room for improvement and it allows me to reinvent myself in any way I’d like to. Intimidating as it might seem, especially for me, who has never been without company for a very verrry long time, I think that this might actually make me a stronger person. At present, I have my friends, who I meet on a constant basis. But how far along in a friendship do you stop nurturing? I don’t wanna grow complacent. I want to know that my friends are there because my perpetual growth in personality drew them towards me. Haha, sounds a bit odd when I put it that way but I don’t want to take my friends for granted la. I wanna know that they’re there for reasons.
*I am continuing this post after a one day, hence the lapse in dates
Psychology coz I’ve always been fascinated with people and their behavior. It’s in my blood to always want to know why people act the way they do. Why they think the way they do. Why some are manipulative and others have low self esteem. Why some choose to torture themselves and others choose to stay quiet when they see other people being tortured. Why the human mentality works the way it does. Maybe someday, I might be able to debunk the weirdest of the weirdest behaviors and write a book a bout it. But my mom is pretty sure that I’ll map my way out into something else, perhaps health and fitness. She has this preoccupation with me opening a body, mind and soul fitness center. All these silly yet adorable ideas etched in her overactive little mind.
What people might not know is the Bachelor of Science covers a range of topics. Hence, although I’ve stated my major as psych, I am free to pick minors to do during each semester such as biomedical science, physiology, marine biology and biological sciences amongst others. So I will be able to explore at the same time and if I end up liking one of my minors as opposed to the chosen major, I am allowed to switch. Plus there’s the general education thing, which I think is pretty fun. You get to study languages/about music and culture. Anything which floats your boat.
My fingers are still crossed for the scholarship!!! Please o please, give me the scholarship. LOL.
Ultimately, I think taking the leap is better than staying in my comfort zone and milking of it till I’m “more mature”. Besides, when do you become “more mature”??? At least I don’t think that staying within your comfortable range where food is provided on the table and your problems are fixed in a blink of an eye is going to make you any more mature. It’s not going to teach you how to be street smart or how to bear the brunt of your own actions. Staying home longer might make me even more inclined to not want to branch out when it’s time for me to. I don’t know about you…. So yes, studying locally might be a smart/sane thing to do, but I want something more. I want to learn to be even more independent. I want to learn to cope with the world without people constantly telling me what to do. I want to drop and not be caught. And who knows? I might start to fly before being caught? And finally, I want to learn how to appreciate my family, my country and everything back here.
So there. I hope I got everything sussed out. Peace out!
Ultimately, I think taking the leap is better than staying in my comfort zone and milking of it till I’m “more mature”. Besides, when do you become “more mature”??? At least I don’t think that staying within your comfortable range where food is provided on the table and your problems are fixed in a blink of an eye is going to make you any more mature. It’s not going to teach you how to be street smart or how to bear the brunt of your own actions. Staying home longer might make me even more inclined to not want to branch out when it’s time for me to. I don’t know about you…. So yes, studying locally might be a smart/sane thing to do, but I want something more. I want to learn to be even more independent. I want to learn to cope with the world without people constantly telling me what to do. I want to drop and not be caught. And who knows? I might start to fly before being caught? And finally, I want to learn how to appreciate my family, my country and everything back here.
So there. I hope I got everything sussed out. Peace out!
"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because you have no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."
4 comments:
I echo every bit of what you said about the whole experience studying overseas.Indeed, you learn so much.
You learn to be thankful of how fortunate you are, how much you owe your family,country and stuff.You learn to be more tolerant and open to a variety of different behavior otherwise alien back home.It changes you for the better.
At least that's what I hope to gain once I come back home after 4 years.Hehe.
Plus,I think your major rocks!Bold choice.Besides,psych is very open-ended.The vocational line is endless.I'm sure you'll do great!
dang...now i'm not the only one doing psych anymore -_-"
haha
ok i just randomly read through this really long post but summary of it, i think you made a good decision you would be great in what you're majoring in (actually whatever you're doing you would do good as well).
You can always get to meet up with your dear friends again cos by the end of the day its your own feet that your standing upon so live your dream (if it is or not). I think sasha is applying for NZ as well but then again i have been up-to-date with her application process.
i always wonder why you actually do look into the ranking (though it is a plus thing) cos i never did, I look more into the core module and the method its going to be assessed. Then again like i said good that you finally made a step ahead decision. proud of you. ;D *applause*
as always missing you loads, xoxoxoxo
Dear Aiz,
Thanks for your support! I've learnt that it doesn't come with ease of late. I'm pretty sure that ALL my friends support me 100% altho some may be more preoccupied with the teasing using cows and whatnots. LOL. But yea, you always have something nice to say to me and I appreciate it. Plus, you've been studying abroad too which makes ur thoughts count...
Cass,
Awww! Don't wry, ur already one of a kind. LOL. Just so you know, I most probably won't be branching out into counselling. It's not really my thing.
Thaya,
hey babe! another verbal supporter! Thanks! I don;t really look into the ranking coz i think it's u who determine ur standing la, but a lot of other ppl do. It's no biggie la.
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