Bridging Fantasy & Reality

Ok. Anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it's not just the job that keeps us up all night. I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button? - Meredith Grey, Greys Anatomy, season 1

Today was a really ReAlLy crappy day. Not so much crappy. More frustrating than craPPy. Coz today, I lost my park. I found out that presidency can grind you into a freaking hamburger. And to my surprise hunting down a laptop is not all fun if you include the amount of thought that needs to be put into it. And dreaming? What’s with the iffy images that clog your subconscious mind? Why can’t I just sleep in peace? Why dream of insignificant windy roads that gives me the creeps? …don’t ask.

Number one, I lost my park. Yes, the wide spacious, craggy hilled Taman Tasik Perdana allllll the way in KL. The one I pull myself outta bed for at least once a week at the crack of dawn. The park that I’ve grown so familiar with that it even has a special space in my heart. This morning, I woke up, put on my running shoes and drove down there. Everything remained the same. I did the usual. But then just as I was about to proceed to jog, friendly guy named J approached in ALL his friendliness. It didn’t seem like he was hitting on me …(I was covered in sweat from head to toe for Pete’s sake) so I answered questions in brief when he asked them. Very polite. Seemed decent. And what if he, mebbe just wanted to jog with me or sth right? Like they say, “go to the park, make a new friend!”. (This is rubbish in case ur radar didn’t catch it) Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. But no no, kids, it’s true when your parents tell you don’t talk to strangers. Coz J became my lil doggie, he sniffed my trail. Which made me concentrate more on making sure I wasn’t going to bump into him than my exercise routine.

Ahahufusirgerigldrghkdjfkbvdfugh! Morning endorphins lenyap dalam kesunyian pagian yang menjelma. Aizuddin, if ur reading this, can you let me know if that sentence made any sense at all? Thx. So It seems I may not be able to visit my beloved park coz he knows exactly when I come and which route I take and he frequents the park often. Yes, I learnt this all during the stringent conversation. Or I can just take my chances and change my day of frequentation….. at least, for now, I think that’ll work. Wtv it is, the park’s never gonna be the same again. And I despise that!

Number two. Had a semi fabulous afternoon nap today until that stupid dream invaded. It was a darn ass tiring dream. When I woke up, it felt like I had run a marathon. And it was raining! SO any sane human being would resume sleep. But NO. I had an obligation, rotaract meeting. Presidents deserve a break too right? I mean, I’m sure Goerge Bush wakes up every morning and reschedules a dozen meetings with his secretary. SO I start calling people and find out that the response is poor. Cassie’s lazy. Leeza’s ever ready but reconsidering. Surin gladly backs off. I can almost see Jason’s mischievous grin. And Alex never got back to me. Ben’s text broke me. So that left Shaun. The one person who I could not persuade. “Where’s your sense of ethics?” “Dimi, U can’t do this. It’s too last minute, the interact presidents will be there” “Dimi, U better go. Get ur ass here now!” But… but… but NO ONE is going!!!! “it’s ok, only both of us need to brief them”. Yea right! I’m sure he was looking forward to briefing Jocelyn more than anything. I had no incentive to go. But I had to drag my ass down there anyhow, just to maintain my what-wuz-tht? Ethics! Dic Vinn was quite cute though. Can still hear Cassie exclaiming in horror… “he’s younger than you ok!”… Please la. I know better than to dig any interact president. Shaun better not be reading my blog.

Presidents duty doesn’t stop there. She has to come back and make sure everything is coordinated for the super important superfyingly crucial meeting next weekend. And so she types til the tips of her fingers has no feeling. Everything’s ready except for accounts from Shaun’s side.

Was supposed to resume laptop hunting today. But then the sky was scarlet and pregnant with acid rain when I returned so I rescheduled with mom. Which brings me to tomorrow when I have to transform into a fembot and run multiple tasks. Carwash banner’s ready. T shirt design needs to be submitted. Venue for interact conference needs to be settled. This and more remains my responsibility. Plus, bank draft and submission to JM. And I think I told JJ I was gonna stop by for lunch. And dig out more laptop info from him.

I deserve the right to rant. Sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings in the process.

This blog entry will hopefully self destruct in your mind after you leave my site…..

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

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