Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Nightmare Before Christmas

6:34 PM

"I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit, but here's the thing. I love the playing field." -Greys Anatomy, season 1-

It's Halloweeen! For real this time. Realized it when I was listening to Rudy and JJ on hitz.fm... They were broadcasting 'live' from a haunted house apparently. Around this time a few years back, I was stressing about what I was going to wear for the Halloween party at TGIF. Oh how my life has dwindled to lifeless-ness.

This entire week has been like a try-to-shove-as-much-information-into-ur-head-b4-the-SAT week. I give a whole new meaning to speed reading. In just a matter of days I managed to cover the basics of the cell structure to all the different kingdoms on the planet to the function of the nervous system and to details of the heart. My favourite part was genetics. Coz I got to do the whole criss cross diagram thing again. Punnet square my ar*e. The crisscrosses are addictive. And literature is killing me. Go ahead, Nirm, shout "I told u so!!". I have no idea how to master it. I know the terms. I like reading the excerpts except those really idiotic traditional prose styled ones. But It's unmasterable. Tricky business I tell you! I've done a couple of practice sheets without setting the clock and I seem to be getting more crosses than ticks every single time. Makes me want to tear my hair out and run about the house clucking like a chicken gone CuCkOo. Math is just math. I hate the dimensions part. Ugh! So many formulas... I'm dreading saturday AnD anticipating my life after the SAT. Nightmare before christmas indeed!

Went to see Miss Joy this morning. She specifically said 8 am so I had to get up early altough my psyche suffered a lot of damage in the process. Zombified. Cambridge exams are going on at the moment. Made me reminisce in retrospect at how we, the A levels clan, used to stand around in nervous jitter before our exams. I am SO glad not to be in that position right now. Anyway, dear Miss Joy thought I was still one of her students. She was like, "aren't you supposed to be sitting for the exam soon".... You can trust her memory to NOT serve her right. Am supposed to go there again this evening to drop off photocopies of my cert so she can come up with a masterpiece. Seriously. She could've hinted that she needed it earlier. And I could've saved a trip.

Broke is an understatement for me right now. I have to survive with 20 ringgit today. Not a problem if I didn't need to make excursions here and there. Unfortunately, I need to load up on petrol before going to college again this evening and then, drop by at the rotary meeting to get the t shirt matter over and done with. I. Will. Survive.

Auckland U sent their admission package on Monday. WooHoo! Now all I need is the scholarship which is no easy feat. Still waiting for the Adelaide and UTAS's responses. Am in no hurry to make a final decision though. LOL.

Mundane. Mundane. Unless you consider lactic acid build up an interesting conversational subject I have nothing further to elaborate in this entry.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

The truth is....SAT+me=@@

3:15 AM

Doctors give patients a number of thing. We give them medicine, we give them advice and, most of the time, we give them our undivided attention. But, by far, the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth. The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really? - Greys Anatomy, Season 3

I set my alarm clock at 5 am today. Pity that I put it on snooze. Coz the next thing I realized, it was too late to make it to the park, what more spend an hour or so studying? It may sound odd, but for a long long time, I've gotten used to planning how my mornings would go the night before. This used to work very efficiently during the A levels period of my life. 4 am morning studies are efficient coz there is hardly any noise at ALL. I functioned in spite of the grog. And getting exercise out of your schedule in the morning itself is a master plan of all sorts. Believe me, if you're an avid whatever with regards to sports/exercise, get it over with in the morning. Coz if you leave it to later in the day, you'll just be too tired or too whatever to go with the plan. Plus morning endorphins rock!

Anyhow, my routine has slightly spun out of just that-routine. I think it's coz I'm not taking the SATs seriously enough, which sucks. I wish procrastination wasn't a characteristic. Bleh! My attentions span wanes so fast that I seem to be only finishing a page a day. Thanks to more Grey Anatomy!!! I just can't seem to control it. It's like this uncontrollable monster has taken over me and I'm stuck! Literally! My SAT reasoning score was just so-so. No, it was worse than so-so. When I compared my score to that of the students at some of the more reputable unis in the States, I am nowhere near. Which makes me feel crappy and like my brain cells are ultimately decreasing by the second. I wish I were one of those naturally intelligent people who did awesome without having to study. I'd kill to have that right now. And I'd kill to have Heidi Klum's figure too, but that's another story.

But apparently, even those people struggle to survive. Adam was telling me how he was struggling with his math elective so much that he felt like withdrawing. And this is one smart ass dude.

Me : Shaun calls me a babe. And so does Sanjay. Does that mean I'm a babe?? Does it??
Adam : Yea. Babe. Y'know. The pig? =_=

Went to send in my final documents to Auckland U today. And *surprise* *surprise* I managed to set a date for my scholarship appeal appointment with someone from the Ministry of Education in Putrajaya in 2 weeks time. If I get this scholarship, I will kiss the ground that the Ministry walks on.

A RM 80 parking ticket flapped almost too excitedly from under the wipers when i returned to my car. I tell you, that area breeds MPSJ reps. They're like hungry mongrels waiting, to either tow your car away or waste useful trees by spreading their papers all over the property. Anyway, dashed off to meet with Miss Irma and Miss Joy for reference letters. Why Miss Joy? Coz she's the one who persuaded me to retake GP and look what good came out of that....... Managed to catch up with Miss Irma for a bit although she was busy shifting offices. And she was really nice despite me forcing her to write me a letter with her being so busy with exams and the works.

Then drove to Eastin where I picked up Mike and we hurtled through the jam to get to La Manilla in TTDI for lunch. Mike can't pronounce TTDI. Mwahahahahaha! Anyway, it was great catching up with him. I think we should do this more often eh, Mike? Go to one place every other day til you get a taste of the food in every eatery in the area. LOL. Fffffuunnnnn!

Better rush off to "study" now.

The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.Greys Anatomy, Season 3.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Great Expectations, little consideration

7:15 PM


No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay. We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go. -Greys Anatomy, season 3

Me and Leez a couple of days ago, at our Laundry 'outing'. The buggy sunnies were hers.

It’s sunny today! Ok, well not really sunny sunny, but it sure beats all those other gloomy days. I don’t think gloomy works for me. I think the weather sorta defines my mood each day. Really! Lately, it’s been happening a lot. Me, reflecting the weather. Maybe it’s coz of the studying? Not much studying, pfft, but let’s just say, it’s finally beginning to reside in my conscience that I have 9 days left before my SAT subject tests. And for some reason, I feel like I’m sucking at Math more than I used to. Maybe it’s all psychological. Once bitten, twice shy. And may I stress, I used to adore Math…. Before the A levels that is. I can’t agree with the time limit. Felt like a failure while timing myself yesterday. *Sobs*

Anyway, I went to see my agent at JMec or something like that yesterday. And instead of submitting my documents to the University of Auckland, which was my initial plan, I took a detour and submitted documents to the University of Adelaide and to the University of Tasmania in Australia. Wait! Don’t call me a hypocrite yet. There’s a perfectly logical explanation for all this, or at least I think so. Before submitting my documents, I spoke to one of the counselors there. And she was kind enough to go over the expenses of alllll the universities in Australia and NZ with me. And whaddya know? One year at Auckland uni with tuition fees + living expenses = BOMB. In Adelaide, full scholarships are offered, although my chances for this is slim coz a perfect A levels score is preferred. But tuition fee is still a lot cheaper and cost of living is affordable. Same goes for UTAS, where tuition fee is even cheaper.

My mom asked me to go ahead and apply to Auckland. There was still a very very very slim chance of me acquiring a scholarship. But considering the competitiveness of the scholarships and the fact that my score was an AABaa and not an AAAa or an AAAAa makes my chance even slimmer. *Sigh*

As I was speaking to the agent though, I realized how much more I wanted to be in the US where financial aid was available in abundance. Weird that the agent herself began to realize this as the discussion progressed. And she advised me against rushing to complete my education just coz of peer pressure. What she said was something similar to what Mike expressed to me on msn days ago. And yes, I do get the hunch that I am rushing this unnecessarily just to get over with the decision. Thing is, all this while, I thought it was merely my indecisiveness that was creating this whole complex. I’ve been self absorbed. I didn’t think that financial issues were going to hinder me from furthering my studies at a reputable institution. But it is. Because whether I like it or not, I am being funded by a single parent who will be paying for my education through her nose. So there!

Anyhow, all these options are driving me insanely out of my wits. The last time I pondered, I thought of signing up at HELP for psychology while waiting for my US applications to come in. If only this were as easy as making a choice between signing up at Taylors or Sunway for A levels.

Are you yawning yet? The fact that you’ve read this much only means that you now MUST proceed.

Since IDP was just down the block and there was an Australian education fair there, I decided to take a detour before going home. The place was filled to the brim. And it was very difficult to speak with the guidance counselors, plus the atmosphere reminded me of IELTS all over again so I was in and out in a glimpse. Besides, there was already too much clouding my mind.

Returned home and studied for a bit. And then I decided to get everything off my mind by watching the Anatomy. I’ve gone back in time with the interns. I only started watching from season 2 on wards so I got my hands on season 1. Mwahahahahahahah *followed by more evil laughter*

SAT reasoning test results are supposed to be out today. I’ve logged on to the site three times already, but zip zilch.

Will probably head out for a swim now. See you in a bit!
We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives. -Greys Anatomy, Season 3

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Fairytales

3:27 AM

"You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be -- white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming -- they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true." - Grey's Anatomy, season 2

Auckland University application arrived in the mail today. Details on what and how to submit were stated.
In a perfect fairytale : ppl don't go to universities.

Went to the immigration to renew my passport in the morning.
In a perfect fairytale : there is no need for a passport, ppl just magically teleport to their destinations of liking.

Will be signing up for Unis at the IDP fair tomorrow just coz it's free.
In a perfect fairytale : Everything's free

Have an itch to watch more Grey's Anatomy.
In a perfect fairytale : dvds pop up like apples on a tree. "Feel free to pick" reads the sign below.

Feeling lazy to continue with this update coz it doesn't make sense anyway.
In a perfect fairytale : There aren't any blogs. And nothing makes sense.

"But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after -- just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, people may even take your breath away." -Greys Anatomy, season 2?

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Decisions lurk everywhere....

3:36 AM

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side... is spectacular." -Greys Anatomy, season 1 -

I got an agent today. An agent who's gonna help me pursue my studies abroad, or at least try to. Finally. A reason for me to stop scrutinizing the websites for resourceful information! You can trust me to misconstrue the jargon any time. All I have to do now is drive down to her office in Subang, beside IDP and she'll help me with the application process. She didn't mention about charging for her services though. Come to think of it, it all sounds a bit too good to be true. But according to Adam-the-wise, agents make a profit from the participating university everytime a student applies, so there!

Apparently, tomorrow, she'll be getting a Letter/Statement of Good Conduct for me from Putrajaya. A letter that will declare me free from complicated criminal accusations. Before agreeing to go ahead with the offer though, she made sure to ask me, " So, you sure of picking New Zealand as your study destination then?". This was met with silence. *1 min* *2 mins* *3 mins* *4,...... "erm, I'm actually gonna sit for the SATs soon. Wanted to apply to the US but I think the admission is a bit too late. So I think New Zealand will be a good alternative option. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla" (NOTE: the answer to that question was a simple yes or no). See how effectively I twist the urge to make a decision into a curveball so that I may not directly need to make one any longer? My fight or flight response kicked in. It happens whenever I stumble at a crossroad.

Her response met mine with some humour and a knowing tone. Aha. So I'm not the only one. In this, I find consolation. LOL. So I've printed out the documents and gotten everything ready for tomorrow. I'm going to apply. Coz if I don't, I might end up going no where. And NZ's a beautiful place to study. I've heard it time and time again. I'm applying for the scholarship as well. If I don't get that, and if my SAT results are satisfying, then I will move on to the States. See. I've got it all under control. what's that? Trying to convince myself??? Bollocks!

I finally decided to give mom a break by going to make myself new spectacles today. My power has increased by 25 in both eyes. Pretty predictable considering I don't wear my specks around very often. Anyway, I am totally in love with my choices. Yea, choices. Coz mom let me pick out a pair of sunnies as well. I got those black thick rimmed "nerdy" looking glasses to wear at home, or maybe not coz those are pretty in at the mo. And the sunnies were ok looking la, since my choices for powered sunnies are limited. Am totally in love with the rims though.

Watched Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna with my sister yesterday. KANK for short. I've not watched a hindi movie since my grandfather passed away so it was a little unusual for me at first. But Hindi movies always come in those GREAT love story packages. They're all cheery and funny at the beginning and really heart wrenching at the end. Predictable as they are, you gotta appreciate the effort that goes into making these LOTR time framed movies. It was so bloody long! Slightly more than 3 hours to be exact. And just the day before I watched Dhoom 2 which i personally prefered. Hotties alert! And the songs were a lot better. So, yea, I'm on a Hindi movie roll. Although I am gonna force myself to stop watching them for fear of becoming a bad influence on my sister. Me watching, refrains her from studying coz then she watches too. And we all know how excruciatingly near SPM is.

Been catching up on bio a lot. And math. Mostly for the SATs. And get this! I know lit terms so well now! Like Allegory, and Alliteration and Allusion and Parody and Parable and Fable and Aneuromorphism (erm, i think). No. The book's not in front of me. I managed to come up with a system. *Groans* You're right! I need to get a life! Can't wait fo fellowship night this sunday.

Future plans
SATs exam
Interact Quiz - helping out
Interact Conference - Group Discussion Leader
Rotaract Conference - Social Bee

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Monday, October 15, 2007

Unexpected

6:30 PM

In the past, I 've learnt to accept the unexpected. Little did I know that the unexpected could be fun. So now, I anticipate the unexpected.

Yesterday was rather unusual for me. Unusual in good way. I met up with Lee Hua just outside the Outback Steakhouse at Bangsar Village post lunch and together we waited for Amanda from RAC Gombak to come pick us up. It was decided the night before that yesterday was the day we were going to donate blood. Neither of us had done it before and the fear lurked somewhere within but I was itching to get it over with already. Amanda's cheery disposition surely helped. She was just so chatty and vibrant that when I reached the National Blood Bank in Jalan Tun Razak, I was just so eager to get that 450 ml of blood outta my system.

But. Much to my disappointment. And I stress much. Much. I am not eligible to become a blood donor. Ever. In my whole entire life as an earthling on this planet. I. Cannot. Donate. Blood. Period. This was pretty much how the doctor on duty put it. Except, she took it with a pinch of salt and added some petty humour into the whole thing while I watched her with a pained expression. No I do not have some fatal condition that is highly infectious. I do not have HIV. My blood cell count is almost excellent. I have excellent blood pressure. I am healthy. The only complication is I was a G6PD born baby. Which means that I have a condition, which does not allow me to donate blood. Coz, apparently, when my blood cells are exposed to the environment outside of my body, it self ruptures almost immediatly because of the sulphur content in the air. I've always known I was/am a G6PD. But for most of my life, this made me feel special. Now, it just makes me feel useless. To know that I can't help people in dire need even though I WANT to. Sigh. My blood is, well, useless to anyone other than me. And sulphur is my kryptonite. Someone, just go ahead and stuff my pillow with mothballs while I'm asleep.

So I felt like a complete loser. But it was good to watch Lee Hua and Calvin (from Gombak) donate blood. It felt like they were proceeding to the next level in life and I was there stuck at the bottom, unable to proceed. Anyway, thanks to Jamie and Amanda who reminded me that what I had was not my fault and that it was after all the good intention that mattered, I was fine. Lee Hua and Calvin felt dizzy after the blood donation. Their seats had to be inclined backwards to allow the blood to rush back to their heads. And at one point, when the nurse tried to stop Cal's blood flow, the blood kinda sprouted out. That was major scary-dom. I think he was very terrified by the whole scene. Just so you know, they're safe. And I invited the members of RAC Gombak for our fellowship night at Laundry at the Curve on Sunday. Coz Cal said I was pretty *giggles giddily*... but then I think he was just trying to cheer me up. LOL.

Afterwards, I drove to the YenShan's (Nishan+Yen Lee) residence to get my memory card and some of my files that he retrieved from my pendrive. Played with Speed (their doggy from SPCA) for a bit-she likes me! She adores jumping on me, and once, she practically engraved he nose in my crotch, which made me doubt her sexuality for a bit- while Nishan reprogrammed my pendrive. There was a trojan or some worm in one of my files and he had to open ALL my files in order to trace the corrupted one. It took 2 hours, thanks Nishan! It was getting dark then and they asked me to join them for dinner. So after we headed to the petrol station where Nishan once again volunteered to fill my tyres with air (it was making moaning, pained sounds on my way there which calls for concern), we drove over to my area for dinner.

I was thinking small chinese hawker stall but we ended up in TGIF, hmmm, maybe that fast cash op wasn't such a bad idea after all? I had some exquisite spaghetti meal, with emphasis on exquisite, considering I can still taste it in my mouth today. It was expensive. But I only paid a portion of the bill although i insisted to foot my share of the bill. What was better though, was the conversation we had over dinner. I think I took almost an hour to finish my food coz with each mouth of delish came more amusement. It was really good getting to know the both of them. They let me in on a lot. Their love story is similar to the ones you would normally read in fictional books or watch on a hollywood inspired dvd. Really. And they've been through so much. Gosh, I felt like a kid, in a good way la. I've been enlightened, that I'm an alcohol virgin and a relationship virgin. Not that I don't already know.

They came back to my place after dinner coz Yen Lee wanted the Grey's Anatomy dvds. We ended up playing cho tai tee along with my sister before they left to Karthik's place. Thrish and I watched 'Knocked Up' as soon as they left. The delivering part was.... uhm, interesting.

Before I go, I just wanna let you yes, you know that I am so jealous of you. So terribly envious. That you can donate blood! It is so unfair! So while I suffer the after effects of this huge blow, why don't you consider doing something with the gift that you have?

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

Broke! Pokai!

11:52 PM

Someone once said; "It's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me.... I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. Even if I don't write it down" -Voice over by Brooke, OTH Season 4

Why is it raining everyday? Kinda masks my mood. Gloomy. Correction, gloomy... until I start earning some cash.

I went to Mid Valley today and while buying my all time favorite (...altho most people fail to understand y) JJ's super sandwich, i discovered that I was 80 cents short of cash to pay for my sandwich. Yes. I did just say sandwich. And so i spent a good 3 minutes pretending to dig deeper into my purse in hopes of 80 cents miraculously appearing out of nowhere. And the dude behind the counter stared at me ,amused, while I buried my nails into the leather, scraping the nothingness that was there and turning crimson simultaneously. His taunting glare sunk in and the realization that I was going nowhere with the digging finally caught up and I sheepishly admited that I didn;t have enough to spare before racing to the nearest atm. That was after I promised him that i would be back with the money. It was little wonder that he trusted me coz he knew how much I loved those sandwiches and would be back someday if not today. Damn those sandwiches! Haven't they heard of franchises???

Bleh. The atm machine was another fuddle. Instead of selecting withdrawal, I selected fast cash and kaching kaching, RM 1000 was forced into my possession. DONOT SELECT FAST CASH!! I think I was in a shock for a while. That was the first time I held so much cash in my hand. Was a bit terrified as I stuffed the money into my purse. I suddenly had the urge to eye everyone in suspicion. They all seemed like hungry materialistic hyenas to me. So instead of stuffing my purse into my bag, I placed it into the plastic bag I was carrying. Do people snatch plastic bags??

For the record, I got home safely. After submitting my Starbucks work application. Yes. I decided to go against all odds and just try out for the position. AnD that was after I bombarded everyone with irritating messages regarding part time jobs on msn yesterday. Loads of suggestions came through. From telemarketing for 250 per day at Damansara Intan (which I am definitely applying for, I'd b crazy not to!) to selling irons at 60 per day minus commision. But I'm not allowed to let anyone know about the former, so DON'T ask!

Spoke to wai yi about tutoring at shelter for free. Was nice talking to her after so long, and the tutoring offer will be processed as soon as her parents return from Israel. They're there on a pilgrimage. Cool no?

Got my hair 'thinned' today. Actually, it was more like wash, condition, thinning, wash, blow dry. The woman made my hair so SO straight that I don't even look like me anymore. I don't like straight hair. It's a different story when my sister straightens it, coz she has a knack for making it look great. I think it's the product overload at the saloon that makes it look paper-y. Yuck.

The blood donating thing is definitely happening. *Smiley*

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Friday, October 12, 2007

MishMashMush

3:02 AM

" Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? if one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives... for better, or worse." - OTH Season 4

Yay! I finally found the Princeton review Biology! There was one copy left on the shelf in Sunway Pyramid and I practically grabbed it as soon as I laid eyes on it. It was there all along and I went to all the supposedly 'more equipped' MPHs to get it. Pyramid's MPH has spiralled to the top of my list for now. It has a new look, if you don't already know. And so has the whole of Pyramid... err, well, phase 2. I didn't stick around much at phase 2, just rushed to the comforts of the familiar and I was only there for the book anyway. But I did get to view the very Arabically embellished passage way from pyramid ol skool to pyramid new skool thoroughly. Some of the shops were pretty neat, like the one selling mannequins made from scrap metal and others were just predictable. Analogy? Let's just say that pyramid finally realized that they simply had to acknowledge the fact that most of their patrons were middle Easterners.


Today was pretty awesome despite my flagging energy levels. Still feel kinda light headed for some reason, ugh. Anyhoo, I finally met up with Esther again after such a loooooong time. We Esther, Jing and I- had lunch at Charms cafe at the Curve. It was the first time all three of us were eating there (whoo! exploration!) and the food was pretty applaudible although the apple+cucumber juice at waffle world beat the hell outta the one at charms.


I'm having second thoughts about the whole Starbucks thing, thanks to Jing. One of his friends works there and apparently she had stories about kerahan tenaga. And the training is like a serious camp camp! Trainees have to put up in Berjaya Times Sq throughout the training period. I really don't mind committing to it, but I was leaning towards something more flexible which would give me time to study for the subject tests as well. Ish. Perhaps I should look elsewhere? But I've always wanted to work there *pout* And I got Jing and Esther all excited about the free drinks that they would get when they visited. LOL.


Been keeping up with blogs, unlike the busy days when I didn't have much time to *rolls eyes*. Not very healthy considering some people are living their dreams which drives me green with envy. Sigh. Florence, I wish I was there. Sigh. Here's a little glimpse of where she is and all the beauty that serenades her in her medical world.


Breathtaking! Just a few months ago, I didn't know Prague existed on the global map. Now, I worship it.

Gonna go nap for a bit. Been having more weird dreams lately. I bought a book called Concubine something. My tummy feels airy. Randomness. I know.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Refusing to Sit Still

11:55 PM

" Most of our lives is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on a highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us at it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever" - One Tree Hill, Season 4

You know what's the problem with having tasted even a meagre teaspoon of success? The addiction that comes with it. I find myself wishing that every single day in my life would be marked with some sorta victorious rapture. I guess I sorta lost appreciation of the placid states that comes with life every now and then. I can't stand it that my cell phone is suddenly inactive. And that I don't need to be somewhere all the time. Sigh. A bit siao right? You can trust me to always want something that I can't have.

Sent my application in for Auckland Uni yest. I was just pondering to myself, judging by the fact that I can't even sit still for a month, just imagine another year? Is US really worth all that time? And though I still have it on top of my list, my fingers were just itching to cross the border. So I applied, for a conjoint. Bachelor of Science with psych as my major and Bachelor of Arts with English as my major. And I got this confirmation e mail which tells me about a confirmation letter which will soon appear in my mailbox. Till then I await in silence.

Three new recruits are coming for the Rotaract meeting this sunday. A young business entrepreneur, Alex, one of the rotarians daughters' Deeviana and and old friend, Surin. Meanwhile, I'm contemplating donating blood. I can't sit anymore. Need to go do some thing productive. Am almost done with my room, gonna start off with my closet soon.

Itching to do something! Ugh!

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Moments

6:53 AM

Leeza, Lee Hua and Me at Bangsar's Installation the previous sunday. Probably the grandest one I've attended. The theme was black and white, which reminded me of 'ivory and ebony' - high school prom.

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Trick or Treat!!

5:01 AM


It came early this year. In a full steam, super fun form. We spent three weeks preparing for it. Some of us going sleepless nights. Others (particularly me) going completely cuckoo. I think I pretty much lost my nutters in those three weeks. Ask Nirmal and she'll tell you how wacko I was the last few days. I wouldn't be surprised if she claimed that I was screaming like a gargoyle at night while she was lying next to me. Oh yes, Nirm came to stay! It was her longest stay yet (3 days, 2 nights) and perhaps the best... I couldn't be more grateful that she was there to listen to me moan and groan, and drink starbucks with me while I went crazy from all the caffeine running through my veins, and stay up and talk to me when I wanted to vent and not wake me up to vent when I fell asleep. Thank you Nirmal! Can't wait to have you over again in November!

The night went terrific. It began with a few major glitches which caused me immense stress. Everyone could see that I was overworking myself for no reason. This was what all my energy was built up on for the past few weeks and me, not enjoying every second of it was a sin. Who cares if everything about it wasn't perfect right? Nothing's fun if it's perfect. There were people reminding me to have fun the entire night. PP Raja who was sitting across from me asked me to just relax at one point and only then did I realize that my stress was being portrayed outwardly. Apparently, the way I was sitting and looking around gave it off.... (hmmm, PP maybe you should consider being a body language expert???)

My main concern was that my guests would get bored and label the installation one of the worst. But boy, was I wrong. The installation turned out to be a blast. Everything about it was so perfect in the most imperfect way. It was fun like that. Hillarious that we screwed up the roll call which DRR Dinesh pointed out to me later night, and hillarious that the emcees were so themselves and did not put up a superficial act (Cass, no sweat! I loved u the way u were, contrary to what you believe...) and nothing about it was conventional. Nothing at all! It was so me!

There was the marriage proposal that ended up on a positive note - rotaractor proposing to his rotaractor girlfriend of three years. That was like a performance itself. And then, like no other installation, we had a magic show. And praises to Karthik and Nishan who worked on a short and sweet slide presentation in the last moments before the installation.

The best part of it all was, for the first time in a long long time, the limelight was on me. All the speeches were directed at me. Everyone was congratulating me and praising the committee for the absolutely one of a kind night. I got so many raving reviews that by the time the night ceased, I felt like I was on a natural high. So there, all the hard work and fuel consumption was absolutely worth it. I feel compelled to publicly thank my committee for their contribution and their comforting words. As you guys were walking towards the stage to get installed, there was this huge overwhelming sense of pride in me. I really genuinely felt like all of you had become my family. I really wish that Daniele, Thaya, Shalene, Sobana and Sunisha were there too. Coz they had been through all the trying times in Rotaract. They deserved to be there for the revival.

Anyway, so that's that about the 11th Anual Installation of the Rotaract Club of Bandar Sunway. You can say that now I am even more 'semangat' to get started on projects and the works. Oh, and I'm submitting my form for a job application at Starbucks tomorrow. Applying to work for three days per week with prior training at Berjaya Times Square, which means, in no time, I will be trapped in an lrt like a dead sardine with icky people groping me. What a way to put it. But yea, that's my perspective of public transport. The last time I took the LRT, I contracted chicken pox from an unknown source. So you can't blame me for being horrified.

Went in search for SAT II Biology today but I could not find it ANYWHERE! Went from Bangsar Village to One U to Ikano to Mid Valley til I felt a little woozy. Apparently, it's available in abundance in Kinokuniya at KLCC. Perhaps tomorrow?

The SAT reasoning test was by far the most excruciatingly exhausting test I had ever sat for in my life. It was 3 hours 45 minutes with 5 min toilet breaks after every 2 sections (there were 10 sections). By the 6th section, my neck felt like it was going to snap. And my forehead was cauterized with a permanent frown after the test. Fortunately, I managed to stay pretty alert throughout.

Sorry for the long hiatus I took from blogging. Will start updating more frequently now that I'm not bogged down with relentless calls and meetings.

Gotta run and continue revamping my room now. You would not believe the amount of cobwebs that can appear after three weeks (alright, it has been slightly more than 3 weeks). And my room is a "paradise" for my unpredictable sinus bouts. Wish me luck!

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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

CURRENT STATUS

10:25 PM

BUSY! sorry, won't be blogging for a while until I find time to breathe again amidst this haywire that I'm wired in.....

THANK YOU Lee Hua for staying up til 5 something am to finish the program booklet.

THANK YOU Leeza for staying up til 6.30 am to finish the sashes!

THANK YOU Ben for going home to sleep at 1 am after "helping" us out and revealing your deepest obsession towards glue to us! *nah, I'm kidding! Thanks for throwing in ur 2 cents worth*

I wish this sounded more convincing, "can't wait to see you again today at 7 thirty"

Anyone good in resuscitation? I might need it soon....

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