Dealing With It
9:50 PM
People continue to walk in and out of our lives...
It may seem, sometimes, that our existence in the world somehow bears a close resemblance to a motel,
The real question is, what kinda motel do we choose to be?
There's the shabby one-nighter, remembered for it's inhospitable environment,
Then there's the regular 3 star one, which brings back no fond memories or vaguely little of it,
And then, there's the exquisite 5 star hotel which ignites the memory like a wild forest fire...
For fear of being hurt, trusting and losing, we can treat our 'guests' with nothing more than brief conversations and tight, guarded behaviour - this obviously puts us in the shabby one-nighter category,
OR, we can get through each day in a facade where we use our 'guests' to meet our own selfish ends,
We can be indifferent towards their needs, wants and desires,
We can be pleasant, yet controlled... Hospitable yet apprehensive....
This would thrust us into the unmemorable hotel category....
BUt if we really get to know everyone for who they are,
Trust with all our hearts,
SHow genuine interest in the vibrancy and uniqueness of every single individual without the fear of being betrayed or losing them, then we can be one of those memorable 5 star hotels....
The ones that people keep coming back to, the ones that people tend to always remember..... - adaption from the 'wise-ass serebrum' of Dimithira....
Mood : Reflective
Music : Mika - Life in Cartoon Motion (My Interpretation)
I'd like to think that for you guys, i've been one of those memorable 5 star hotels.... Friends have always been really important to me. Maybe that's why i despise separation so much... Saying goodbye in my vocabulary is uncomfortable, teary and it completely freaks me out... I've chosen not to say goodbye to many people who were significant in my life when they were leaving quite a number of times. The notion of separation seemed more appealing without the tears and dealing with all the fears... But sometimes, goodbyes are just necessary... Sometimes, all we really need to heal the wounds of separation is a good dose of goodbye.... Anywayz, i'm pretty sure that i'll be carrying a part of everyone of you guys with me no matter where i go. Every small thing that crosses my path will remind me of you... Like when i hear someone laugh, i'll be reminded of ShalEnE's eccentric laugh and when i see a yellow car, i'll be reminded of Sobana (actually, i already do most of the time) and when i see a child, i'll be reminded of Cassie's childlike innocence... Ok ok, not every kid will remind me about you Case coz that would be crazy!!! Just the once with cherubic lips like yours.... LOL
I hate to think that the Genting Trip will be the last time we'll be seeing each other.... I guess it won't really be the last time but it'll be difficult to gather everyone at the same place at the same time and people tend to talk and plan but never do anything... So, all i can really do is just make sure that we end up having a helluva good time in Gentings.... Haven't heard anything from Ben yet and it's really freaking me out. Maybe, just maybe something's up and i really hope that that's not the case....
I think i'm in denial. Coz sometimes i still wake up thinking 'oh darn it! i'm late for class? What should i wear? Should i go swimming first?' And then i realize that there IS no college... No driving while humming and bopping my head cheerfully to the music on fly fm... No speeding on NPE, wondering if there'll be any parking space in the college compound... No hanging out at the student concourse or rushing to class, breathing heavily.... No more greeting everyone and wondering about all the wonders that today will bring.... At times it's overwhelming, especially when i was clearing out my notes a couple of days ago... I think i teared up more than once and i still haven't gotten my self to dispose of them.. Supposed to bring them to the recycling place but i'm gonna do it when i'm a little more sobered up...... The only way i'll be able to embrace the future is by forgetting the past and letting go.. Eventually, i will but i'm just not ready yet.. Give me til the end of this month at least...
Anywayz, talking about the future, i was called in for an interview at YM the other day. Found myself driving to USJ at ten-ish, finding a parking space was *groan* but managed to secure one right in front of the office. Joel, a dashing young chinese guy interviewed me. He's apparently appearing on this all new reality tv show - the Firm, sorta like a Malaysian version of The Apprentice... So there, dashing, successful, articulate..... But this is my might-be future employer we're talking about so fat chance! Hee.... Will be happy to introduce any of you though... Any takers?? I think the interview went pretty ok... Was stressing about what to wear and what to say so much that i guess i kinda forgot about the simplicity of it all... I just had to be me and that exactly who i was....
Lunched with Daniele, Titine, Sobana and Nisha later... We took pictures and talked just like old times... Went to see Mr Kingsley and Miss Irma after that.. Mr King invited me for their lunch thingy on Friday coz i 'Merajuked' when i found out about it... Haha. SO now i'm IN it..... Had loads of fun!!
Oh, and i got accepted into the BRATS camp thing. I'm not sure if i wanna go anymore la! Sheesh. It's in Kuching and it's supposed to be a really good experience for aspiring journalists. Plus, since i'm set to go to Jas's place, it'll be quite a good plan... Y'know, like 16th to 22nd, BRATS camp and then off to Jas's place... So i guess, i'll be accepting the offer although i might end up being one of the oldest ones there..... =(
Had lunch with Jacintha and Michelle at Pink today... We talked and then went to settle the refund thingy and went to see Miss Elisa again........... Supposed to go get a letter from Miss Irma so that i can apply for more internships but haven't done that yet. Ugh! So much to do!!
Oh, yea, to all of you who wanted to know how the graduation night went, it went pretty well.. Everyone was dressed to the tee, the food was so so, everyone was in a good mood and nothing embarrassing happened.. Except, i cried... I kNoW!! I was just so overwhelmed by emotions when Thaya started crying when she was about to leave and it just happened. She looked so.... I dunno, like the world had just crumbled and i think I sorta felt like it was about to crumble like a freshly baked cookie so i just let go. But heyy! I'm not that cold, not as tearless as Mabel!!! I am totally capable of letting go when i want to... Felt like a complete idiot after that though...
Couldn't be one of the earliest on the dance floor coz i had loads of 'key' issues to deal with... That's what happens when you let your car become the storage compartment!! My keys were being passed from one end to the other and i was determined not to allow last year's incident, where Sunisha accidently took my keys home, to recur so i was pacing in paranoia.. When i finally did get on the dance floor, everyone was already caught up in the moment. Felt quite awkward at first but then i realized that it was graduation night and there was no point in standing around, guarded, being afraid of embarrassing myself so i just did my thing la... Must've looked really silly but i didn't really care... SO yea...
Went to Soul'd Out with Case, Mike, Ben, Titine and Nimmi later. I swear, no matter how many times i've gone to Hartamas, my sense of direction's still kinda shaky when it comes to that place. And this time Mike was following me so there was even more pressure... With God's grace, i managed to get them there safely, just couldn't get em back safely as well coz it was so dark and it felt like a case of the blind leading the blind... But the other blind-Mike-regained the sense of sight and led the way... LOL I actually didn't feel like heading home at all but the place was closing and i guess the others were tired as well...
Had a soul baring session with Nirmal later........ We talked and talked and talked til 5 am and we weren't supposed to go to sleep but ended up sleeping for 3 hours anyway...... FUN!!
Guess that's it... My side of the graduation night story... Enough?? I'll tell you guys more later la if you really wanna know. Still, i DONOT understand what the BIG deal is? THe way you were asking me was as if something was supposed to happen?!??! I smell something fishy... Fishy Fishy Fishy.......
Gotta bid goodbye now. Don't ask me where i blogged from. Trust me, you don't wanna know..
Here's 2 PS's for you
PS 1 : Chyi told me that Chern Han got offered a place in Cambridge but, but, but.... He turned it
down, coz he was offered a place in Princeton and he wanted to go to US.... This, i think, is
the smartest decision anyone has ever made.... (honest! no sarcasm here...)
PS 2 : Xander (Tze Siang) was offered the valedictorian award for A Levels. Yup Yup, the guy
we love to hate... Cut him some slack ppl, this is his time to reign so we should just stop
mocking and respect it.....
It may seem, sometimes, that our existence in the world somehow bears a close resemblance to a motel,
The real question is, what kinda motel do we choose to be?
There's the shabby one-nighter, remembered for it's inhospitable environment,
Then there's the regular 3 star one, which brings back no fond memories or vaguely little of it,
And then, there's the exquisite 5 star hotel which ignites the memory like a wild forest fire...
For fear of being hurt, trusting and losing, we can treat our 'guests' with nothing more than brief conversations and tight, guarded behaviour - this obviously puts us in the shabby one-nighter category,
OR, we can get through each day in a facade where we use our 'guests' to meet our own selfish ends,
We can be indifferent towards their needs, wants and desires,
We can be pleasant, yet controlled... Hospitable yet apprehensive....
This would thrust us into the unmemorable hotel category....
BUt if we really get to know everyone for who they are,
Trust with all our hearts,
SHow genuine interest in the vibrancy and uniqueness of every single individual without the fear of being betrayed or losing them, then we can be one of those memorable 5 star hotels....
The ones that people keep coming back to, the ones that people tend to always remember..... - adaption from the 'wise-ass serebrum' of Dimithira....
Mood : Reflective
Music : Mika - Life in Cartoon Motion (My Interpretation)
I'd like to think that for you guys, i've been one of those memorable 5 star hotels.... Friends have always been really important to me. Maybe that's why i despise separation so much... Saying goodbye in my vocabulary is uncomfortable, teary and it completely freaks me out... I've chosen not to say goodbye to many people who were significant in my life when they were leaving quite a number of times. The notion of separation seemed more appealing without the tears and dealing with all the fears... But sometimes, goodbyes are just necessary... Sometimes, all we really need to heal the wounds of separation is a good dose of goodbye.... Anywayz, i'm pretty sure that i'll be carrying a part of everyone of you guys with me no matter where i go. Every small thing that crosses my path will remind me of you... Like when i hear someone laugh, i'll be reminded of ShalEnE's eccentric laugh and when i see a yellow car, i'll be reminded of Sobana (actually, i already do most of the time) and when i see a child, i'll be reminded of Cassie's childlike innocence... Ok ok, not every kid will remind me about you Case coz that would be crazy!!! Just the once with cherubic lips like yours.... LOL
I hate to think that the Genting Trip will be the last time we'll be seeing each other.... I guess it won't really be the last time but it'll be difficult to gather everyone at the same place at the same time and people tend to talk and plan but never do anything... So, all i can really do is just make sure that we end up having a helluva good time in Gentings.... Haven't heard anything from Ben yet and it's really freaking me out. Maybe, just maybe something's up and i really hope that that's not the case....
I think i'm in denial. Coz sometimes i still wake up thinking 'oh darn it! i'm late for class? What should i wear? Should i go swimming first?' And then i realize that there IS no college... No driving while humming and bopping my head cheerfully to the music on fly fm... No speeding on NPE, wondering if there'll be any parking space in the college compound... No hanging out at the student concourse or rushing to class, breathing heavily.... No more greeting everyone and wondering about all the wonders that today will bring.... At times it's overwhelming, especially when i was clearing out my notes a couple of days ago... I think i teared up more than once and i still haven't gotten my self to dispose of them.. Supposed to bring them to the recycling place but i'm gonna do it when i'm a little more sobered up...... The only way i'll be able to embrace the future is by forgetting the past and letting go.. Eventually, i will but i'm just not ready yet.. Give me til the end of this month at least...
Anywayz, talking about the future, i was called in for an interview at YM the other day. Found myself driving to USJ at ten-ish, finding a parking space was *groan* but managed to secure one right in front of the office. Joel, a dashing young chinese guy interviewed me. He's apparently appearing on this all new reality tv show - the Firm, sorta like a Malaysian version of The Apprentice... So there, dashing, successful, articulate..... But this is my might-be future employer we're talking about so fat chance! Hee.... Will be happy to introduce any of you though... Any takers?? I think the interview went pretty ok... Was stressing about what to wear and what to say so much that i guess i kinda forgot about the simplicity of it all... I just had to be me and that exactly who i was....
Lunched with Daniele, Titine, Sobana and Nisha later... We took pictures and talked just like old times... Went to see Mr Kingsley and Miss Irma after that.. Mr King invited me for their lunch thingy on Friday coz i 'Merajuked' when i found out about it... Haha. SO now i'm IN it..... Had loads of fun!!
Oh, and i got accepted into the BRATS camp thing. I'm not sure if i wanna go anymore la! Sheesh. It's in Kuching and it's supposed to be a really good experience for aspiring journalists. Plus, since i'm set to go to Jas's place, it'll be quite a good plan... Y'know, like 16th to 22nd, BRATS camp and then off to Jas's place... So i guess, i'll be accepting the offer although i might end up being one of the oldest ones there..... =(
Had lunch with Jacintha and Michelle at Pink today... We talked and then went to settle the refund thingy and went to see Miss Elisa again........... Supposed to go get a letter from Miss Irma so that i can apply for more internships but haven't done that yet. Ugh! So much to do!!
Oh, yea, to all of you who wanted to know how the graduation night went, it went pretty well.. Everyone was dressed to the tee, the food was so so, everyone was in a good mood and nothing embarrassing happened.. Except, i cried... I kNoW!! I was just so overwhelmed by emotions when Thaya started crying when she was about to leave and it just happened. She looked so.... I dunno, like the world had just crumbled and i think I sorta felt like it was about to crumble like a freshly baked cookie so i just let go. But heyy! I'm not that cold, not as tearless as Mabel!!! I am totally capable of letting go when i want to... Felt like a complete idiot after that though...
Couldn't be one of the earliest on the dance floor coz i had loads of 'key' issues to deal with... That's what happens when you let your car become the storage compartment!! My keys were being passed from one end to the other and i was determined not to allow last year's incident, where Sunisha accidently took my keys home, to recur so i was pacing in paranoia.. When i finally did get on the dance floor, everyone was already caught up in the moment. Felt quite awkward at first but then i realized that it was graduation night and there was no point in standing around, guarded, being afraid of embarrassing myself so i just did my thing la... Must've looked really silly but i didn't really care... SO yea...
Went to Soul'd Out with Case, Mike, Ben, Titine and Nimmi later. I swear, no matter how many times i've gone to Hartamas, my sense of direction's still kinda shaky when it comes to that place. And this time Mike was following me so there was even more pressure... With God's grace, i managed to get them there safely, just couldn't get em back safely as well coz it was so dark and it felt like a case of the blind leading the blind... But the other blind-Mike-regained the sense of sight and led the way... LOL I actually didn't feel like heading home at all but the place was closing and i guess the others were tired as well...
Had a soul baring session with Nirmal later........ We talked and talked and talked til 5 am and we weren't supposed to go to sleep but ended up sleeping for 3 hours anyway...... FUN!!
Guess that's it... My side of the graduation night story... Enough?? I'll tell you guys more later la if you really wanna know. Still, i DONOT understand what the BIG deal is? THe way you were asking me was as if something was supposed to happen?!??! I smell something fishy... Fishy Fishy Fishy.......
Gotta bid goodbye now. Don't ask me where i blogged from. Trust me, you don't wanna know..
Here's 2 PS's for you
PS 1 : Chyi told me that Chern Han got offered a place in Cambridge but, but, but.... He turned it
down, coz he was offered a place in Princeton and he wanted to go to US.... This, i think, is
the smartest decision anyone has ever made.... (honest! no sarcasm here...)
PS 2 : Xander (Tze Siang) was offered the valedictorian award for A Levels. Yup Yup, the guy
we love to hate... Cut him some slack ppl, this is his time to reign so we should just stop
mocking and respect it.....
1 comments:
aiyo... wassup la u? u shud go 4 d BRATS thingie la gurl?!!!! anw, i'm jz an sms away u noe... haha... dun so emo la u kakaka... tk k gurl! muah... :)
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