Sunday, December 20, 2009

Home

7:05 AM

It's been three weeks since I got back. THREE WEEKS!! And it's almost christmas already!! December feels like stealth. Like it never existed on the calendar. Coz I have no idea how time passed by so fast. I feel exhausted. Like as if my body just underwent some rigorous bootcamp. But I do recall spending equally as much time plonked in front of the computer as I did going out and about. I'll sum it up with pictures coz my head is throbbing and my body feels like it should be stretched outwardly in all directions.


Been making sure that I spend time with the family coz after all, it's what I am here for. Have to admit though, it's the best feeling ever to hear chitter chatter in a proper household again. And to eat proper food. To be around people 24/7. Coz when I am in Auckland, the nights can get really lonely with no one around to make empty conversation with after uni. This was taken while we were trying on christmas hats in Amcorp Mall.









Also been spending a good amount of time with Leeza and Reshme, more with Leez coz we're the original BFFs. LOL. Whatever that means. I guess I've just been through so much with Leeza that whenever we're in reachable proximity, there is no stopping us from getting together. Despite that, I think our attempts at planning exciting escapades has been met with futility coz unlike the both of us, no one else seems interested in planning parties and going away on beach holidays and bla bla bla. Sigh.







And there's Ben. The prodigy. Ben is like an exotic animal that you have to catch just in time in order to actually appreciate his beauty (beauty here is a euphemism for the time he spend with you). Any plans made are guaranteed to cascade into a drain. Be warned if you come across such similar species.. A friend who's up for almost anything and who tells the funniest tales but who will disappear from the face of the Earth just when he's convinced you that you'll be seeing him in the near future. That said, Bye Ben! I hope you have happy times in HK and good luck with summer school!




And then there were our ballistic clubbing sessions. Ok wait. It was one session. But one pretty good sessions thanks to Reshme and Harpreet and her kakis. LOL. The Palace is one of them exclusive Bhangra clubs set in the depths of KL. So that was exactly what we did. Bhagra-ed away the entire night. Props to Leeza! LOL.












MPS mini reunion at Strawberry Fields was pretty fun. Got to see the MPS-ians in this picture and did some good catching up. Super cool how everyone has diverged in so many different directions.









Went to Singapore from the 12th to the 15th of december. Four days there was perfect and really tiring coz we had to walk and catch public transport to get from one place to another. But man, the efficiency of public transport there is admirable. No one would need a car to be honest. And Singapore was pretty great overall, just too expensive. To lead such a hectic lifestyle is not ideal for someone like me. Especially after studying in Auckland for two years where everything moves in slow motion.









When I got back from Singapore, I was whisked away by Reshme Nair to Imran Khan's performance at Mist club in Bangsar. She hooked me up with free tickets and I finally got to see who the entire desi world apart from me (but I'm not even desi so guess I don't count) were going crazy over. Was a pretty good night when I finally came to realize how alcohol despite it's bad rep can be quite significant under certain circumstances. Met a lot of people that night. Socialista alert. Oh and someone was wearing the exact same dress as I was! I was so tempted to go up to her and tell her, "hey babe! nice dress" but I controlled myself when people began telling me that I looked way better in it. LOL.



Trixie's birthday was on the 19th and mummy cooked up a feast for the family. Her yummy crabbies was part of the spread. My mum has been cooking such awesome food these days. I feel a potbelly developing. Ah jahanam! But then I'm going to miss all this to death when I head back to Auckland in ten days so I might as well screw all initiatives to diet this festive season and appreciate the perks of being home. I don't understand why I'm such a novice in the kitchen when my mom has intrinsic becomings of a chef! Sigh. So one of my resolutions for the new year is to learn how to cook. From scratch. Coz that's the way she did it.




This is me enjoying ice cream potong, red bean!!! I remember having it as a kid. Yummy ness on a stick. And since I got back, I've been having all sorts of yummyness on all sorts of sticks. I have been eating wayy too much. Aiyai.










LOL. Akash did this back when we were having exams and when FB was the only source of entertainment in our lives. Good to know that our baby will turn out to be caucasian altho it has 43 percent of his genes and 57 percent of mine. But she/he is awfully cute! And speaking of the devil, I miss himmmm to chunksssss!


Ten days. TEN DAYS and I am gone. While i get over that fact, I'd like to wish you guys a very Merry Christmas and Happay New Year!

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Change

9:24 AM

Once upon a time the world revolved around me. It still does sometimes. And as much as I'd like to deny it, it surfaces like gurgling bubbles to calm water most of the time, to some more than others. Akash and my mother to be more specific. It's like the closer I get to someone, the more my grandiose visions of myself take center stage. But before I let the narcissism take over yet again, I will stop myself bluntly. This post is not about me. It is about you. Although the you that I know will NEVER read this, what I seemingly assume to turn into a longg wordy post with few pictures and a suffocatingly confusing analysis of what I myself cannot be too sure of.


Desperate attempt to furbish my post. This was among the other images that I got when i googled narcissism. 

Maybe narcissistic is not what you are. I read the symptoms and half of it doesn't meet the characteristics that you possess. I don't know what it is really. But I sure hope it's the teenage angst you're growing out of. There's so much that you do that I fail to understand. And sometimes I sit down and think of a solution but nothing comes to mind. I think it's because the both of us are too soft at heart to initiate harsher consequences. And who am I to initiate consequences when I have not established a superior life for myself?

In a way I think you have done ME some good if not anything else. Because looking at you this way, cheating your way through and feeding your greed without remorse has made me feel the need to change you. You will never listen to me. But I will give you one less thing to blame her for. Don't ever say that I glided by coz she favored me. I did not abuse the trust and from this day on, you have inspired me to work for myself. To go out and find my own means and not depend on her just coz she's there to give and give and give and to never take. It's high time really. What took me so long to get here, I don't know. I just have this sudden surge of confidence that I will somehow achieve what I have set in my gilded mind. I will find a job. I will excel in my studies and graduate as planned. And I will have enough time for my boyfriend, friends and for my involvements in uni. There're heaps of students doing it out there. The only thing that separates me from them is my mindset. And so my mindset is set to change.

You have helped see me through this. And with that, I would like to help you earn your conscience back. To fill that massive black hole with something other than irreversible schemes related to you. To make you live within your means and not take for granted things that we both have. Things that I used to take for granted until I went overseas and realized that not much comes easy. When I come back here, I feel like a queen sometimes. Food is put on the table, groceries are bought, clothes are washed and dried, bed is made most of the time not by me... And all that turns me into a bitch. Maybe if I stop and think about the love that lies behind all the very actions that turn me ignorant, I'd learn to appreciate again. We are all human and none of us do this on reflex. But the difference between you and me is I stop to think about stuff like these sometimes and you don't seem to.

I am not going to ask you "what's wrong with you?". Coz nothing is. I just wish that you'd grow out of this phase soon because I know that deep within that blemished exterior of yours lies an honestly awesome person with a heart of gold. Let that be my christmas, birthday and every-occassion-that-requires-presents wish this year and next year. Just change.

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Thursday, December 3, 2009

8:43 AM

Just got back from some fashion show thinga majig with leeza. Ugh. I regret eating McDs so late at night. With curly fries some more! As if i am not already curly enough. sigh. Tummy rumbles. Which has led to subsequent rubbish blogging at this hour.

Coming back to Malaysia and spending the past few days here has made me realize how everyone here seems to be so preoccupied with their images that just figuring out what to wear on a daily basis can make you seem like you are facing murder charges in the supreme court. Even more so than I imagined it to be. I thought I'd come back here with the minimals since shopping here is so good for obvious reasons and then I'd go back equipped for a brand new year. But as I rummaged through my closet today for something mildly appropriate to wear for the fashion show, I felt this tinge of regret that I'm not usually one to keep up with the rise and fall in trends... Laidback comfort and sedate styles work for me...

Singapore awaits in a couple of days...=)

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