Bridging Fantasy & Reality

so. the week was crazy to put it in simple terms. and i absolutely loved everything about it. all the mini coincidences that took me by surprise. the tiny stumbles. leaving little crumbles. the conversations. and echoing laughter. the thrills and frills. it was like a little wrapped package of surprises one day after another. or like yummy Hershey Kisses tumbling out of an automatically refillable wrapped bottle.

Invitations to this and that have been pouring in. I jump at the chance to be included in the free ones. The ones that require a fee make me hold onto my cash tightly. But then again, you can never be too conscious of the leak...

It's also that time of the semester again where UMSA is on a roll with it's events. Dessert Night was on Friday followed by cultural mosaic in the morning. Had fun at both. The ball is a month away with heaps of preparation on the agenda. I'm on the marketing team which means publicising the event - posters, tickets, seating plan. the works. AND as usual, we're doing the whole skit thing again only this time with more songs and longer =O So rehearsals are inevitable. Jie Huei recently choreographed a simple Jai Ho dance for the committee to perform. Am loving it =D

Followed Melitta to Sorrento in the Park up on One Tree Hill for her job interview on Saturday. It's the perfect place to hold wedding receptions and she was being interviewed for a waitressing position. I kinda wanted to try out as well but they had already filled all the positions when i e mailed them just a couple of days after she did. Ah well. Just my luck I suppose.

went to one of those little cafes which i absolutely adore just before her interview coz we had an hour to kill.

she shouted my soy mocha!!! happiness! I love NZ for all it's scattered quaint little cafes! and i LOVE savouring the foam on top of my beverages before letting it wash down my throat =)

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Wanna know why people grow fat in Auckland? Precisely coz of this....... one serving size here is sufficient to feed four starving children in Africa....


Had dinner at barbeque king with Su Lyn on thursday. An outing that made me realize how many such similar ones would remain a priviledge in the future. Coz not only did I successfully waste all the rice that settled beneath the nutritious fish, tofu, vege and pork toppings but also coz I've now resorted to using cash instead of my eftpos card in a desperate attempt to scrimp and save. Left me feeling full tho, and not in a bad way either.


This was Su Lyn's chicken something something. Clearly I was paying more attention to what she had to say than what went into her mouth. And a good thing too coz our meeting on thursday was loooonnngggggg overdue.

Auckland skies as I was transported back to Huia after my ten hour flight. I was accused of escaping winter. Guilty as charged. I returned to a rather refreshing sort of coolness that got out of hand every once in a while. Apart from the rough rainfall that attacked my window last night, I have established peace with the weather here. It's been behaving.

It still feels like I'm walking in a cloudy suspension though. I've been thinking. And after speaking to my mum last night, I think maybe I really should shorten my degree here for a bit. Now that I think of it, a conjoint is pretty pointless considering I can do a double major in both psychology and economics via an arts degree and finish off in three years. And THEN i could think about doing my masters instead. If you're reading this mumsy, I'm sorry you heard it through the blog first. Will call you as soon as I've gathered sufficient information that would be of importance to our finances. And yes. I will have no BSc to parade around and only a BA to be proud of which is every Asian person's nightmare but who cares about every asian person.

Which brings me to another concern. Today I went into the kitchen, I hesitantly peeked into my basket. and I emphasize hesitantly coz of the premonition that had wrapped itself around my head. And yes. Just as I predicted. Beloved pot, GONE. Normally I would be pissed. Normally, I'd try putting a hex on the person who asked for the hex to be put on him/her. Normally, I'd sprint out to make an impulse voodoo doll purchase so I could puncture it with acupuncturesque needles. Normally. But today I just didn't care. It felt liberating.

No. I am not going to buy another pot and give them the liberty of taking it. I am just going to make do with what's in there. Perhaps someone forgot to inform me that all kitchen utensils were to be shared. Now that I know, gladly.... =D

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Turbulent. Right now that's what it is. I feel like talking about it is not an option coz it drives me deeper and deeper into a state of depression. It's better to just disregard the issue and the burden that comes with it.

The good that's come out of it? Carelessness. Well. At least I see it as a good thing for now. You could take a knife and stab it right through my heart and I would feel nothing. I think the confusion acts as an anasthaethic. There is so much of it. Stuff that I cannot fathom. Thoughts that are too scary to think about. Brushed aside... Because the more you get me to talk about it, the more I want to run away.

I don't know how it got to this, neither do I know why. I just know how I feel right now. And for the first time in my life, I feel completely lost. alone. insecure. and this time there is absolutely no one there to tell me that it will pass. no God. no parents. no significant other. no mentor. no friend or foe.

the question that lingers is : why, of all people, did you have to flee? Goes to prove that everyone always does leave. Well, they leave me at least.

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