Intermission
2:01 PM
My next post was supposed to be on day two of my amazing journey up north but the speed of my Woosh account has apparently been reduced to the dial up version coz I've exhausted my 1 gig limit.... I will have my 1 gig again on the 7th of April so hang in there, two amazing posts coming your way soon!
Woke up today and all I had in my head were thoughts (....apart from the nagging cramp I had in both my legs). Even the morning jog couldn't get the thoughts out. When an artery bursts in your brain, blood gushes out and collects in your cranium and coz there's no way out the pressure just builds up and pushes down on your brain and then you die. I learnt that at my neuropsych class yesterday. I feel like I'm at that point when the pressure is increasing but I'm not quite dead yet...
Sometimes I wish I didn't think too much. Why am I not studying enough? Why do I keep procrastinating? Am I fitting in well enough? Should I do a conjoint? Am I eating too much? Am I too trusting or not trusting enough? Am I spending too much? Am I in adequate clubs and societies? Do I have good enough friends? Am I getting too involved in other peoples issues?
Am I strong enough to let all these things wash over me and come out unaffected?
And then I think about stuff at home. About how i can make or break my future. And I know that I have to be... I must sound like a person who's coping with palpable loneliness/delusional thoughts syndrome. Ironically, my life here couldn't be better.... In fact, it's a blessing. Anyone in my position will tell you that. It's just that, when life's going so well, you tend to wish for more. More friends. More determination. More more more.... It's human nature.
Yesterday was a good day. I got a free mocha which kept me wide awake during my stats class. The coffee guy messed up the orders while my friends got themselves warm beverages and the messed up order (which turned out to be really good!) was awarded to me!!! I think I just might turn into a reformed mocha addict while I'm here.... Managed to chat with Mike, Ben and Cassie simultaneously last night. Made my whole day!!
Finally worked up the courage to go swimming on Monday, thanks to Andrew who accompanied me and assisted in shaking off the first time jitters. The olympic pool is HUUUUUUUUUUge, and a bit freaky in the beginning coz it gets deeper at the end and you feel like you're swimming into the unknown when you get to that end. But after a while, I was ok... He's a good swimmer too... And to completely make the most outta the 5.50 that we paid, we decided to use the super heated jacuzzi as well as the steam room. Invigorating. Going into the ladies dressing room came as a culture shock to me. Everyone was walking around stark naked, without a care in the world. And I was like a scared wide eyed child. Back in Malaysia, walking around in my swimsuit was humiliating enough. And there I was, witnessing sagging boobs and crinkled butts in masses!! I guess I'll get used to it and then maybe I'd join the mass. But I'm going to give myself as much as time as I need.
Gotta get some studying done now... Miss you guys!
You know you love me!
xoxo
Woke up today and all I had in my head were thoughts (....apart from the nagging cramp I had in both my legs). Even the morning jog couldn't get the thoughts out. When an artery bursts in your brain, blood gushes out and collects in your cranium and coz there's no way out the pressure just builds up and pushes down on your brain and then you die. I learnt that at my neuropsych class yesterday. I feel like I'm at that point when the pressure is increasing but I'm not quite dead yet...
Sometimes I wish I didn't think too much. Why am I not studying enough? Why do I keep procrastinating? Am I fitting in well enough? Should I do a conjoint? Am I eating too much? Am I too trusting or not trusting enough? Am I spending too much? Am I in adequate clubs and societies? Do I have good enough friends? Am I getting too involved in other peoples issues?
Am I strong enough to let all these things wash over me and come out unaffected?
And then I think about stuff at home. About how i can make or break my future. And I know that I have to be... I must sound like a person who's coping with palpable loneliness/delusional thoughts syndrome. Ironically, my life here couldn't be better.... In fact, it's a blessing. Anyone in my position will tell you that. It's just that, when life's going so well, you tend to wish for more. More friends. More determination. More more more.... It's human nature.
Yesterday was a good day. I got a free mocha which kept me wide awake during my stats class. The coffee guy messed up the orders while my friends got themselves warm beverages and the messed up order (which turned out to be really good!) was awarded to me!!! I think I just might turn into a reformed mocha addict while I'm here.... Managed to chat with Mike, Ben and Cassie simultaneously last night. Made my whole day!!
Finally worked up the courage to go swimming on Monday, thanks to Andrew who accompanied me and assisted in shaking off the first time jitters. The olympic pool is HUUUUUUUUUUge, and a bit freaky in the beginning coz it gets deeper at the end and you feel like you're swimming into the unknown when you get to that end. But after a while, I was ok... He's a good swimmer too... And to completely make the most outta the 5.50 that we paid, we decided to use the super heated jacuzzi as well as the steam room. Invigorating. Going into the ladies dressing room came as a culture shock to me. Everyone was walking around stark naked, without a care in the world. And I was like a scared wide eyed child. Back in Malaysia, walking around in my swimsuit was humiliating enough. And there I was, witnessing sagging boobs and crinkled butts in masses!! I guess I'll get used to it and then maybe I'd join the mass. But I'm going to give myself as much as time as I need.
Gotta get some studying done now... Miss you guys!
You know you love me!
xoxo
2 comments:
dimi... there are like a billion things in NZ you can conform to..
but please don't "do like the romans do" with the stark nakedness...
and hang in there okay. if you are still the dimi i know you will get through it. a lot of whining involved but still. hahahaha. *hears dimi whine "leeeeeezaaaaa" in the distance*
yealor..if you join them and swing your boobs in public and let every to see hor,i will laugh at you from far and dun fren you anymore HAHAHAHHA
it's hard to go through stuff and come out unaffected...we can get affected in the right way or the wrong way..it's your choice for the taking =D it's all about the point of view *hugs*
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