Bridging Fantasy & Reality

Some ball pictures that I sneaked in... others are up on Facebook....





I spoke the truth to someone I love today. It doesn't matter what the truth is or the consequences. The liberating feeling is all that matters. That you no longer carry the burden of the silly awkwardness that lingers situation after situation, time after time.

I notice with time that I keep discovering all the things that I don't want in life. Why is it then that it's so hard to discover the things that I actually do want? Do I have to slash out all the options on my list until one prominent one prevails?

I feel like I'm in desperate need of close girl friends. I need that sort of an intimacy right now.

I wish I had more inspiration to write yet another 2 3000 worded essays this break. I feel robbed off my break. What's the point when there're irritating thoughts of assignments lurking within the mind?

The ball just passed. And after all those practices and dances and planning, there's an anti climatic feel in the air. The ball went superb, perhaps the most successful one thus far so why this feeling?

I miss something. But I don't know what that is right now. I can't pinpoint. I just know I miss it.

I feel like breaking free. Sitting under a coconut tree in the warm sun and zoning out would be ideal. Getting away.

I feel like I could try harder. But I just couldn't be bothered right now.

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I feel New. For some reason. Weird.

I have an Economics assignment due today. For the first time I feel like it was all my effort and not that of the study group that I am in.

The ball is tomorrow! TOMORROW!! Everything that we've been working towards ends tomorrow. Happy? Sad? What am I supposed to feel for this, potentially, last ball ever? The only ball that I will be attending with an official date. The only ball that I'm obligated to dance/sing/act for all three at once. All the practices that made my calves hurt. The dance moves that I never thought I could pick up, picked up. A ball dress size I never thought I could fit, fitted. A table I never thought I could fill, filled. Akash is hiring a pilot outifit. LOL. Cute!! Tomorrow better be a day worth of all its frustrations.

I can't wait for the break. The ball will be like an opening ceremony to it.

I don't know if I should go back to gyming like how I used to. It's so weird how I've stopped (Well, not totally, i go every now and then), and people are telling me that I'm losing weight. I've always been skeptical about weight loss when it comes to me. But perhaps I have, not too drastically. And this is on top of the fact that Akash feeds me chocolates, heaps. I think it's perhaps coz I'm more tuned to my hunger now. I can actually tell when I'm really hungry and when I'm just craving for something for the fun of it.

I love all these little loopholes. <3. I hate how this is potentially my last semester in uni. I love how it's getting to spring.

ps: my house mate gave me chocolate body paint. =D

signing off

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