Speaking in Symbolics
3:00 PM
I wonder if it's normal to question your adequacy in situations flung at your direction? I admire people who when things get seemingly unfamiliar, they simply stand there, indifferent to their surroundings. Who let perceptions form without a care in the world. Who know who they are despite the criticisms, despite the burden of knowing they can do better. I look up to these people who come out of the floods with just the water dripping off their backs and perhaps a lesion to their forebrains' which rids them off the memory of the struggle. Or someone who comes out of a fire, unearthed. Someone who comes out of a battle knowing that it was merely a trial.
I wish I had more self control. I wish throwing that box away and vowing never to look at it again wasn't the only option. I wish the will would take over the mind, body and soul. I wish it was easier to let go. I wish things settled in faster.
If only I were braver. To believe in the things I know I am right about. And with the believe, I would argue my case. I wish I wasn't such a push over. I wish I could stop procrastinating.
I wish I could, like everyone else, think of it as just another stupid competition and not care. I wish I could look at myself and laugh about how worked up I am getting over something so trivial.
It seems that doubt, procrastination and indulgence has taken over my life. Sometimes I am so unsure. So lost. So confused. Sometimes, I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. And sometimes, like now for instance, I have too much time to think.
I wish I had more self control. I wish throwing that box away and vowing never to look at it again wasn't the only option. I wish the will would take over the mind, body and soul. I wish it was easier to let go. I wish things settled in faster.
If only I were braver. To believe in the things I know I am right about. And with the believe, I would argue my case. I wish I wasn't such a push over. I wish I could stop procrastinating.
I wish I could, like everyone else, think of it as just another stupid competition and not care. I wish I could look at myself and laugh about how worked up I am getting over something so trivial.
It seems that doubt, procrastination and indulgence has taken over my life. Sometimes I am so unsure. So lost. So confused. Sometimes, I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. And sometimes, like now for instance, I have too much time to think.
9 comments:
*hugs* dmeeee stay strong!you'll be fine =D
i'm a lil lost abt wht u're talking abt.. but.. u're strong dimi :) and like wht cass says.. u'll be fine. *tight hugs*
*hugs back* I mISS u GUYS!!!! Was speakin in figurative language so yea, no worries if you didn't get the context of it... But yea, things here get rough at times... Wish u guys were here!!!
i feel for you! I get that feeling a lot. Nowadays more than ever, as I'm squeezed in between all the workload.
I wish I was like some others, who are just so sure of their capabilities, who know what they want, we don't need others to define them.
Sigh.
But its okay! I'm sure we'll get through this!
i am going to pretend i understood what you wrote and go with what cassie said.
just remember that when in times of trouble, your friends are there to lend an ear. well i would. heh.
gah... i miss you! i miss the times when we confided EVERYTHING to each other!!! now i don't know what's really going on in your life and you, mine! waaaaaaaaaarrrrggg *squints* nuts cannot cry wtf
Want to take your mind of whatever-you-are-thinking now? Help me think of fundraising ideas! You are great in it right? XD
It's not different to feel that way. Humans are creatures that adapt to its surrounding easily. However, it still takes time to sort your feelings etc. Some choose to ignore, some choose to face it. At the end of the day, it's just a stage in life where sooner or later, you'll pass through it and smile =)
I procrastinate all the time since living alone. Not just with studies, with everything like cooking, laundry, cleaning. It's just that I'm suppose to mend my on life, keep track of bills and stuff and it's hard sometimes.
Hey guys! Gosh. Just realized how lucky I am. Who's not lucky to have such awesome friends who come to your rescue when ur stuck in the valleys of life. Sigh. *Hugs*
Aizuddin
Haven't heard from you in a while!! M glad u still drop in every once in a while... Ur right. SOmetimes, it feels as though u can never go even a step further, but the feeling passes and the next thing you know, u've walked to the next continent! Baby steps I say...
Hope ur having a bash down under.
Greg
I don't apprec8 spam comments. Esp when I feel like spam.
Leez
I know!!!!!!!! I wish u were here to tell me everything n i wish u were here so that i can torture u with even the most minute details of my everyday life. I wish u were here to go into bitch fits with me, coz i haven't been doing much of tht since I got here. I notice that I don't giggle as much here compared to when I hung out with u n ben n cassie n co.... *reminisces*
Erin
oohhh, fundraising ideas... Hmm, i think i've exhausted all my fundraising ideas, thanks to rotaract. All of them sound very cliche at the moment...
I can't get over the procrastination tho. No matter how much I tell myself that I NEED to pull it together. I guess living alone gives you too much freedom that u start taking everything 4 granted. But thanks for the advice! I needed it......
dimi rhymes with steadfast..... in hieroglyphs...
i mightve been a weeks late, and missed out on ur "lucky friends" post.. i shant jointhecrowd and say stay stong, but thats coz i know u r.
yes, be amused, envious and in awe of others who are seemingly carefree or confident.. but give no more than 2 cents to them.. coz they suck in they're own ways.. all the best in sorting ur stuff out.. things'll be alright.. :)
ps- i went to the stop procrastinating website. i just had to. what gay help.
"take small steps. rome wasnt built in a day"
Yea.great.that helped.
awww! thanks mike! *jumps like the ribena berry* I just realized tht there was one extra comment for this post... So for all I know, u might not read this.... LOL... But thanks for havin faith in me!! I've told u tht u suck one too many times, albeit jokefully.... but this time, I'm gonna say u rock!....
ps: I nv visit dodgy websites... but i take comfort in the fact tht kepochis click on the link n tell me what they say...
again..... u rock!!!
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