Anticipation
3:30 AM
Fresh starts thanks to the calendar they happen every year --just set your watch to January, our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance of a new beginning, a chance to put the problems of last year to bed. - Greys Anatomy, Season: I haven't a clue!!-
Been wondering to myself why the start of a new year's always filled with so much hope.... Hope that maybe this year, we'll be able to sail through without the minor glitches, maybe this year, we'll finally meet that perfect stranger that will remain perfect sans the arguments... Maybe this year, everything will fall into place where appearance is concerned. Maybe this year, there won't be even an iota of failure. Thing is, why wait for a new year to put so much pressure on yourself?? Why not make resolutions in the middle of April or on the 28th of October? (...simply banging a date...) Maybe the reason people generally give up on their resolutions so fast is coz they keep telling themselves that there's so much time left to get started on their resolutions and before you know it, we're making New Year's eve plans yet again.
So, I've decided to make a resolution everyday and achieve it to the best of my ability. Not huge resolutions, like "today, I'm going to stop being a selfish b*****"... but teeny, easy to achieve resolutions that evokes personal satisfaction... That way, every day will be emotionally stimulating, especially in a new environment.
Speaking of new environments, I leave in approximately one months time!! And after some self evaluation, I realized the most daunting thing about going overseas to study for the first time is being alone. I will be alone alone! As in, I have completely no contacts in New Zealand. And, I also happen to be someone who cannot live without company. I thrive on company okayyy. And there is no exaggeration there. I've never had a meal all by myself since I was in primary one, no, make that kindergarten.... So I've already come to terms with the reality that the first few months might be tough. But I am not going to make it even tougher for myself by leaving with negative thoughts. I anything but not excited about this trip. I mean, come on! I spent six months thinking about how life's going to be like when i finally get there and making calendars with positive thoughts and stuff. So the last thing I wanna do is let my thoughts be infiltrated with insalubrious expectations. I am afterall the loveable Dimi. I'd like to think that whereever I end up, people will love me.... Fact is, no one is going to love you all the time and I'm going to have to live with that. You either love me or hate me. Either way, I am me.
I just found out that one of the masters students, Melissa, will be on my flight. Pretty grateful. At least the flight won't be as daunting as I expect it to be. Coz if you add my absent minded-ness to the entire scene, I can only imagine the calamity that will befall me on the much anticipated day.
New Zealand issues aside, this week started out fab.... Attended Reshme's 21st on Saturday. Pictures can be found on Cassie's blog. Sunday was a day of much needed rest. Went to Mallacca on Monday. It was so hot, I could've melted and died.... but I survived. Visited Mahkota Parade, Dataran Pahlawan, Jonker Street and the Stadthuys building. Had lunch with Mike on tuesday, complete with engaging conversation. And went shopping with the girls today. We walked around Jalan Telawi from 11 in the morning until 5 in the evening. ANd! We got identical slippers from Novo!!! Gold ones.... Funny story. At first, we all wanted the black ones so we made the sales person fetch us the correct sizes. Then we decided, the silver ones were perkier..... And out of nowhere, the gold ones became terribly appealing. The sales girl must've thought we were a bunch of loonies. We're such kindred spirits! I'll miss u guys to bits Leez and Hua!
Am completely burnt out right now. Thank God there's a 2 hour long rerun of American Idol awaiting me!
] Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not on the calendar, it's not a birthday, it's not a new year, it's an event --big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
You know you love me
xoxo
Been wondering to myself why the start of a new year's always filled with so much hope.... Hope that maybe this year, we'll be able to sail through without the minor glitches, maybe this year, we'll finally meet that perfect stranger that will remain perfect sans the arguments... Maybe this year, everything will fall into place where appearance is concerned. Maybe this year, there won't be even an iota of failure. Thing is, why wait for a new year to put so much pressure on yourself?? Why not make resolutions in the middle of April or on the 28th of October? (...simply banging a date...) Maybe the reason people generally give up on their resolutions so fast is coz they keep telling themselves that there's so much time left to get started on their resolutions and before you know it, we're making New Year's eve plans yet again.
So, I've decided to make a resolution everyday and achieve it to the best of my ability. Not huge resolutions, like "today, I'm going to stop being a selfish b*****"... but teeny, easy to achieve resolutions that evokes personal satisfaction... That way, every day will be emotionally stimulating, especially in a new environment.
Speaking of new environments, I leave in approximately one months time!! And after some self evaluation, I realized the most daunting thing about going overseas to study for the first time is being alone. I will be alone alone! As in, I have completely no contacts in New Zealand. And, I also happen to be someone who cannot live without company. I thrive on company okayyy. And there is no exaggeration there. I've never had a meal all by myself since I was in primary one, no, make that kindergarten.... So I've already come to terms with the reality that the first few months might be tough. But I am not going to make it even tougher for myself by leaving with negative thoughts. I anything but not excited about this trip. I mean, come on! I spent six months thinking about how life's going to be like when i finally get there and making calendars with positive thoughts and stuff. So the last thing I wanna do is let my thoughts be infiltrated with insalubrious expectations. I am afterall the loveable Dimi. I'd like to think that whereever I end up, people will love me.... Fact is, no one is going to love you all the time and I'm going to have to live with that. You either love me or hate me. Either way, I am me.
I just found out that one of the masters students, Melissa, will be on my flight. Pretty grateful. At least the flight won't be as daunting as I expect it to be. Coz if you add my absent minded-ness to the entire scene, I can only imagine the calamity that will befall me on the much anticipated day.
New Zealand issues aside, this week started out fab.... Attended Reshme's 21st on Saturday. Pictures can be found on Cassie's blog. Sunday was a day of much needed rest. Went to Mallacca on Monday. It was so hot, I could've melted and died.... but I survived. Visited Mahkota Parade, Dataran Pahlawan, Jonker Street and the Stadthuys building. Had lunch with Mike on tuesday, complete with engaging conversation. And went shopping with the girls today. We walked around Jalan Telawi from 11 in the morning until 5 in the evening. ANd! We got identical slippers from Novo!!! Gold ones.... Funny story. At first, we all wanted the black ones so we made the sales person fetch us the correct sizes. Then we decided, the silver ones were perkier..... And out of nowhere, the gold ones became terribly appealing. The sales girl must've thought we were a bunch of loonies. We're such kindred spirits! I'll miss u guys to bits Leez and Hua!
Am completely burnt out right now. Thank God there's a 2 hour long rerun of American Idol awaiting me!
] Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not on the calendar, it's not a birthday, it's not a new year, it's an event --big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
You know you love me
xoxo
2 comments:
I love you! Lol, sounds so gay but it's true! :)
Hahahahhah! Ur so SWEET!! I love U TOOO! N no! It doesn't sound gay.... Mwah!
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