Bridging Fantasy & Reality

Where do rainbows end? And is there really a pot of gold where the reflection of colours dissolves into transparency? What if a rainbow came a full circle and joint itself at it's ends? I know science wouldn't make that a plausible thought but hey, we human beings once thought the earth was flat didn't we?

I am three weeks past the end of my internship. And a week away from what I'd like to think of as a beautiful vacation in Melbourne and New Zealand. And on top of my delightful palate, I have a tonne of other things to do. Like my visa to apply for. A JOB to look for. A graduation pending. A new home to look for. I wish I had a time machine. So I could travel into the future and see what it has in store for me. Maybe that will help me save so much more time.

My trip to the New Zealand embassy in Singapore last week made me realize how I had once again left everything to the last moment. It would take ten working days to apply for a graduate job search visa. And I already had less than ten days during that point in time to provide proof as well as all the documentation required. A conversation with a friend who applied for her graduate job search visa in NZ a few days ago again opened my eyes to how applying for the visa overseas was no easy feat. It would require medical checks, police checks and ultimately a flight to Wellington combined with two weeks of wait time. Clearly I was not prepared for all this and after more discussion with mum, we decided that it would be better for me to head back to Malaysia and apply for the visa here and then fly back again to New Zealand. How could I have let contempt get the better of me. People keep telling me that I'm young and there is much room for exploration, so why do I feel like everyday that I spend doing nothing and discovering something more is time wasted??

Which leads me back to the rainbow. There's something calming and miraculous about them. Whenever I see one my heart leaps out and I have to prevent myself from exclaiming in enthusiasm "look! rainbow!". Sometimes I go all paparazzi on them and belt out my camera in a snapping fury. I think I just need to take a chill pill about life a little bit. Live it on a rainbow pace. For me it's always been BAM kindergarten BAM primary school BAM high school BAM A Levels BAM university BAM internship and now it's BAM JOB JOB JOB. The only thing about this BAM is that I finally get to choose. Of course I got to choose my internship and which uni I wanted to go to and the like but this BAM is a massive one. Because this decision is so much more daunting. It makes me question the things that I want a hundred times a day and in the speed of a million times per second (exaggeration). And I try to keep going with my gut but try as I may, my gut - it aint that helpful coz I fail to feel anything. Which makes me want to lash out and go on more holidays and discover a temple and look for jobs in three different places simultaneously.

As aforementioned, I made a short trip to Singapore to see Akash recently. It wasn't really short, five days, but it felt like time just whipped by (like it always does). Still. These five days was a serious eye opener in terms of the sort of development that Singapore had undergone in just a matter of a few years. There were more museams, entertainment parks, hotels, and as usual the central business district was a picture of awe.

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It was my last day interning at LV today and I simply have to blog about it because I'm still reeling from the sense of fulfillment that the day bestowed upon me. It started off with me expecting not very much. Last day. Just do the deed and let it be. Plus I was watching over the new intern, Simone, who was to replace me when my stint ended. But what started off as a normal day turned out to be spectacular in tiny little ways that leaves me at a loss for words as to why they resulted in such elation in the first place.

I received an e mail from the regional coordinator in HK commending me on a job well done in terms of smooth flow of press samples to and from Malaysia. My boss gave me a little pep talk and she had very few negative things to say which somehow instilled a subtle yet empowering enough sense of confidence within me. And some of my colleagues took me out for lunch as a farewell. Having been just a simpleton in the office who strove to complete my tasks and ensure that with every passing day, I learnt a little bit more about the working world, I was really taken aback by the attention I received. Overjoyed that my work did not go unrecognized. Elated that despite my attempt to sometimes be personal and less open, people will be missing me and missing my quality of work. Ecstatic that I was in the presence of so many fabulous people who had inspired me and paved a way for me to venture out in the open.

What was even more fulfilling was that days before my internship ended, I felt like I finally got my biggest break within the company. On a whim, my boss decided to ask me and Simone to write a cover letter about two different launches by Vuitton. Simone was off to training so I tried incorporating my ideas and coming up with a piece which was not the hardest task for me because I am the sort of person who is seriously passionate about being inspired and writing about anything in the world when I really am. But I took it seriously enough and my boss was impressed with what I had to offer. Some minor editing and my contribution was sent out to the majority of the Malaysian press. It's probably a tiny little achievement but for this I am ever so grateful. So overjoyed that my piece was worth distributing that I can feel my heart thumping in excitement as I type away now.

I suppose being afraid of the future is normal. Uncertainty can breed fear and fear may cloud your judgement and abstain you from truly reaching your potential. But it's moments like these. Moments where your confidence feels like it's on a booster pill that makes the future seem a little more secure. I will bask in this moment as long as it lasts. Thank you God for the wonders that you do!

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