Bridging Fantasy & Reality

Ahoy people out there, do NOT tag me anymore.... I cannot tahan already la okayy. Seems to be never ending.... Apparently, tags are in, and so are skinny jeans and you KNOW how much I "LOVE" skinny jeans!

Very Outdated Tag that I was supposed to do ages ago (...sorry Leez!)

Friend Choice Award

Female Hottie : Err... Michelle??

Male Hottie : *Refuses to comment*

2 of the MOST trustworthy : Shu Chyi and Jacintha

Best listener : erm... me?? Adam

Most needed shoulders : Mummy!

Greatest Male Singer : Oh ugh!

Top 2 whores (camwhores) : Definitely Cassie and Shu Chyi

Overall champ : Go the diplomatic way la....

Part 2 (facts)

Currently thinking of : what's for lunch?

Clothes on : shorts n BRATS t shirt

Last person on MSN : Adam

Influence : Prolly Leeza, considering the amnt of time I spend with her these days.

Done Just now : Registered for SAT subject tests

Theory Just Created : Can't think CAN't think!

Music Learning : trying to listen to the music my heart is strumming out but failing

Stay up late much? Yea, for euphoric SAT sessions

4 tags to go : I've just gotten a taste of my own medicine and it's bitter, so no tags!

Abomination : Sponsors not replying to my e mails! garhhh........

Chyi's tag

5 Things in my bag:
(V) purse
(IV) keys
(III) cell phone
(II) pen
(I) random receipts

5 Things in my head:
(V) did I pick the right SAT subjects????
(IV) Apply to NZ or not???
(III) Halloween deco?
(II) to get or not to get a haircut?
(I) LUNCH!!!

5 words I frequently use:
(V) crap
(IV) watdahell?
(III) HaRRRR?
(II) Omigod, Really????
(I) coz

5 Recent smses received:
Cannot remember!

5 recent things I just did:
(V) yawned
(IV) mailed people
(III) registered for the SATs
(II) drank water
(I) wondered what’s for lunch?

5 things in my wardrobe:
(V) baju
(IV) towels
(III) Porky – my pig
(II) undergarments
(I) Perfumes, body scrubs, lippies and LOADS of random stuff

5 things I just ate:
(V) Peanut Butter!
(IV) Bread
(III) Banana
(II) Are we really doin this?
(I) Prunes??

5 people I'm tagging:(
NOBODY!!!

I used orange and purple to remind you that Halloween is near, that way, U'll remember our installation is near and u'll be tempted to COME.... lured much?

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The reality is........

Spent almost an entire night IM-ing Adam who's, sadly, back to where he belongs. Joy. He managed to persuade me to join a small liberal arts college which my mom pseudo-persuaded me to do post education fair at Le Meridian yesterday. We (mom and I) spoke to all the small college officials at the fair offering cozy settings and generous scholarships, ie Christian colleges and the works. Apparently, once you finish two years at these colleges, you get to shift over to larger, distinguished ones easily. Sounds like a good plan, both, for coping with the stresses that may come with culture shock and stress generally. Will most likely be applying for the Wesleyan Freeman Scholarship once my SAT results come through. Although the likelihood of getting these are close to 2 in a million. The japanese admissions officer was very clear with the reality of it.

Speaking of which, yesterday I managed to work against the clock for the SAT mock test that I snagged off the net. I think I did pretty ok with the time limits. And at a certain point I got hooked to the euphoria that came with completing each section in time and with a fair amount of ease. Stayed up til almost 3 am but I didn't feel the time slip by at all. I might be pulling through after all!

Someone from Auckland uni got in touch with me regarding admissions and scholarship offers. Was kinda thrilled and might go ahead and apply despite placing US on top of my list. Then Jeremy called to ask me whether I wanted to do telemarketing for his mom with all of the 'free' time I had.

Leez is coming over at lunch time today. WHeeeeee! We're goin halloween shopping again for our very halloween-y installation. Will be forced to revive my creative side, the right side of my brain has always been significantly larger and more active but somehow, I don't get off easy when it comes to crafts. Papier Mache! Eyeballs galore. Oooh, the gore! Haven't spent this much time with Leez eversince primary school! And I get to see Ernie again. After that will be heading over to Lee Hua's place to complete the program booklet. Dinner's on her. And I'll admit it, Lee Hua serving dinner has gotta be the most delightful news ever.

But I shall refrain talking about rotaract anymore for now since I've been told that my first name should be exactly that. I'm SORRY that I adore it so much that I can't stop randomly slipping it into my everyday conversations. And I'm sorry that I have more important things in my life to worry about apart from blogging. But whatevre.... (sorry Sher, had to pinjam tht!)

When ur free though, click on the RCBS link for a free invite!

Maybe I'll stay up til 3 am again today to enjoy SAT euphorism!

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His eyes were brown, hazel? chestnut? It was just the deepest brown ever... You could sink into it and just be trapped there forever, swimming against the current.. Were those really the best cheekbones? Definitely the best jaw outline! And that look, long, lingering, knee-buckling.... And then the light twitch of his lips let out the weirdest sound ever....

Sirens??? ...... *kapoof* And I was awake. Damn those ambulances!

I managed to get a fistful of friendster and NO, I am not convinced. In fact, I thought I could start anew with facebook or something with their pet radishes and tofus! (wth???) But seeing as to how exposed I might become to lethal web tyrany and sheer stupidity, validating the exhaustion of creative juices amidst the youth community - I have yet again settled into the 'cynical' category. What with Leez emphasizing the 'ma fan' ness of it all. Nope. Nope. Thank you for the invites and the whole camaraderie but I declare myself sober of 'friend network' sites. Seriously, how many of these people really provide you with a shoulder to cry on when you need it? All one million friends listed... or maybe that pet tofu i might add? (..what do tofus eat AnEEeeway??) Screwed up man!

tofus and radishes aside.......

I am now officially one of the most tensed up people on this planet. It's as if I'm walking with a flaming stick up my ass! (....yes, I did just say that). SATs is in less than 2 weeks time and so is the installation. And for weird but very banal reasons, I cannot see myself getting a pat on the shoulder for either. But that's just me predicting the worse and hoping for the best again.

Leez and I went trick or treating at One U, the Curve and Ikano on Monday. Spent nine hours out and got zero sponsors apart from that place which I don't wanna mention here in case I jinx it. A horrible shopkeeper with a mood-dousing attitude, glorious food, inevitable shopping (...on her part) and feet aches were on the menu. Very.... erm, character building.

So, erm, yea... gotta run and brush up on my comprehension skills.

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A very Happy 19th Birthday... *Hugs*

xoxoxo

Me

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Lil Miss Brooke's Student Council President Speech....

" I thought i knew you. But I guess it's easier... to see what we want, than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don't; and that means you don't know what I can do. You see me as someone who's popular.... and has all the answers; thats not true. I may not always know what I'm doing... but I'll try make things better. And when I make a mistake... because, face it, we all do.... I promise I'll ask for your help. I can't do this alone. But if you'll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. I promise, if you believe in me, I'll find the courage to reach for your every dream. John F. Kennedy said ' The courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumoh and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences.... in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures... and that is the basis of all morality' "

I feel like I've been forced into a leadership camp of late. But, no, this was my decision. I am solely accountable for it. And when there are hurdles, I get used to cursing myself. But when the coast is clear, the pride and sense of euphoria that follows is overwhelming. I think I'm beginning to enjoy it....

During the next two weeks, I have to

- Make sure that the 11th annual installation of RAC Bandar Sunway happens and does not backfire.... note: I have to do this without losing my mind which I highly doubt at the moment considering I almost went lunatic yesterday while driving (....or rather stalling) in the car with Ben and Leeza, trying to come up with a t shirt design........

- Find a suitable design for our t shirts, which no one seems to want to do. WHatever happened to the days when people craved to have their designs imprinted on t shirts??????

- Induct members into the club infront of a thousand rotarians

- present a kickass speech during the rotary meeting so that we stand a chance in getting sponsorship from the rotarians..... which means, coherent, fluent speech which I completely suck at....

- seeing over the recording of our video to be presented on that day

- making sure that Ben remembers to switch on/not ignore his cell phone so that we won't miss any important calls.

-SPonsorships

- Send Mabel off to KLIA and bid her goodbye til next summer......

-Attend DBMs and BBMs and IBBs

-Study for the SATs which I will be taking on the day of our installation. Tell me about it!!!!!!!

Did I mention I have to keep my sanity while doing all this??

If you ever see a lunatic with crazy hair on the street, mumbling profanities to herself, be kind to her, it just might be me...

tooDles!

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Just when u begin to expect the worse, things turn out for the better. Does hope come when you stop believing? So why then, have we been told otherwise???

BEST rotaract meeting ever!

There wasn't much tension in the air. Everyone was relaxed and totally at ease. The atmosphere was great. Everyone contributed to the discussion. There was infinite joking and talking here and there. We actually kinda did get something done.

This is what it's supposed to be like. Finally! They're having fun. And Lee Hua and Shaun were there!! I loved it.

I wish it was gonna be that way forever.

I wish for so many things.

I've just updated the RCBS blog on the APRRC btw. It's lengthy and I'm too warped to do anything else so please, click on the link and let my hard work unravel before your very eyes.

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" Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats" -One Tree Hill, season 4


As I was sitting down and peacefully gulping down my milo this morning, I felt myself sway side to side. At first, I dismissed it as nothing and let the feeling of warmth linger down my throat. It gradually became worse to the point of me starting to feel like I was developing a mini migraine. Honestly!!! I was practically swaying. In fact, everything in the house was swaying! The clothes rack outside, the fan, my cupboard door... And all I could think about in these crucial moments where life was separated from death by a fraying string was all the stuff I wanted to save. My clothes, the new stuff I had gotten from IKEA, my SATs book!!!!!!!!

Anyway, the tremors stopped. And apart from students loitering around in the lobby, nobody else vacated the building, unlike 3 years ago when the Tsunami triggered tremors.

8.4 Earthquake. Front page of todays STAR. Explains it all...

Anyways, this is courtesy of Cassie.... Let's a play a game of tag now, shall we?

Here are the RULES :

1) The victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect partner.

2) Has to mention the gender of his or her partner

3) Tag 8 other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.

4) If you are tagged the 2nd time, there is NO need to do it again. Lastly, have fun doing it!



Number 1

Expectations are sooOOOO overated, but for what it's worth.

*Mr Perfect has to be upfront and honest with me from the start to the end (wait, there shouldn't be an end, should there??)

*Mr Perfect should be meaty, not fat!!! Just enough lean meat for me to hold on to... (LOL. read: yummy, broad, shoulders...)

* Mr Perfect should persevere in pursuing but never border on stalker instincts

* Mr Perfect MUST have loads of knowledge to share with a great sense of humour but never talk about himself too much

* Mr Perfect should know when to leave me alone and when to never leave EVER leave me alone (...yea right! go figure)

* Mr Perfect should shine brightly like a STAR in my mom's eyes coz there's no way I'm keeping our relationship a secret from her

* Mr Perfect should be someone I feel secure with and someone I can completely open myself up to.

* Mr Perfect should be ever supportive of whatever I do, even if he doesn't believe in it at first.

there's my Mr Perfect for you altho these things might come in handy as well, brooding eyes, smouldering good looks, an It's-impossible-to-forget-you smell, a bank balance to last 9 lifetimes, an inclination towards music, a deep dark fetish for books, a dancer-esque/swimmer-esque body, a love for nature/animals, highly ambitious, be agreeable to dates that aren't conventional (eg conventional dates: wining&dining, movies)....

Number 2

I don't have a partner at the moment but it has to be a 'he'... duh!!!

Number 3

Ah, the funnest part! My eight victims.... *evil laughter*

Leeza Foo
Petrina Jo
Erin Hoo
Shu Chyi
Lee Hua
Florence F
Yvonne
and... Daniele

There! Now get blogging...
LOL. Have to go get ready for my date with Sher. I'm considering a swim first though..

Laters!

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"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone" -Tennessee Williams

" Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone" - Octavio Paz

Agoraphobia. Technophobia. Claustrophobia. I've always wondered what my one, solitary greatest fear was/is. After all, no man is fearless, right? So, everytime my friends revealed their phobias to me, I would intentionally check to see if I had the same fear, just so that I knew I somehow 'belonged' to a certain group/category.

For a while, this took me on an identity crisis roller coaster ride. When I was younger, I was almost sure that I feared water. The murky reflection staring back at me everytime I looked into the viscous fluid scared me to death. That was until my swimming coach back then, allowed me to hang on to his taut torso while he doused us both into the frigid cold. I thought I could die from inhaling the strongly chlorinated water. Whenever we surfaced, I wailed with all my might and stared dubiously at my parents. Were they actually about to allow their first born to die this way?!?? But as time went by and I slowly mastered the art of exhaling underwater, I became obsessed with it. Becoming the water's best friend was the best thing that had ever happened to me coz that was how I earned my other best friend.

It wasn't difficult for me to guess that I had no problems with heights what so ever considering the first thing I did when I moved into a high rise apartment was lean so far out of the balcony that my mom shrieked in trepidation in fear of me falling to my death. I ravished how Wannitta squirmed and inched against the wall everytime she was remotely close to anything that spelt H-E-I-G-H-T.

I discovered my mom was claustrophobic when I was 12 and we went to Disneyland in Anaheim, California with my cousins. She was nauseous and began crying, to which I reacted in sheer shock, especially since my sis and I thought we were in paradise at that precise moment. So obviously, claustrophobic is something I'm not. Still, I pity Nirms and other claustros out there who may not be able to visit Disneyland, EVER!

For a long while I was trapped in the context of me being completely terrified of speaking in public. Adam was kind enough to show me the art of bending paper clips behind your back while speaking, which was what he did to get over it but it didn't work for me. I recently discovered that my 'fear of public speaking' was a mere fright of being judged and self conscious when preened by a large crowd. Something almost everyone goes through in life.

At present, I finally think I know what my one, true fear is. Being alone. I enjoy my own company at all costs, don't get me wrong. But in the long term, I don't think I can cope. But people are leaving.... My, once, huge circle of friends seems to be getting smaller and smaller. Soon, I might only have acquaintances and no more true friends.

Still, Congratulations and All the Best to

Sunisha - dentistry in India
Gulshreen - dentistry in India
Christine - Medicine in UK
Florence - Medicine in Prague
Wen Wei - not sure in UK
Ling - Genetics in UK
Wan Yin and Xing Rou - not sure in UK
Yvonne - Econs in UK
Jacintha - liberal arts n sciences in US
Felisha - liberal arts n sciences in US
Mabel - Law in Cambridge

Presumably, the next batch is about to leave in Jan/Feb to australia and that would be almost all my friends, really. Shame on me for not sitting for the SATs and applying for unis ever since last year. Sigh.

I guess I have to agree with Ben that I kinda hate being the one left behind as well. But that's not gonna make me stoop to the level of just applying to a place just so that I can get going with everyone else. I may be starting later but wtv it is, I'll still be graduating at the same time or maybe even earlier than those pursuing a Medical degree. Heee.

Went to Leez's house yesterday to get the Rotaract t shirt project kicking off and I fell in love with her dog all over again! Oh, those sweet, innocent looking eyes! If only I were a dog..... Sigh

Anyways, I managed to snag millions of dvds from her. Having watched the whole season 4 of OTH and completely fallen for the charms of Chase Adams, I am now riddled with the tv bug and can't seem to pull myself off the couch. I'm practically fused with it!!!

Huh?? What SATs test???

So I'm all game for my marathon with the Hollywood clan. Hurrahs!

No worries, I still frequent the gym, pool and squash court just so I don't end up overly neglected in the process. And I just started using the walkman feature on my cell phone... AND I found my BRATs cert in the postbox today. Such cheap thrills that I've suddenly developed a craze for.

Plus, my fetish for novels have been reenacted. Which means my allowance is gonna run out early this month.

PS: Cass, will do the tag thing in my next post. I can't and refuse to think of 'my type' now. My interest has dwindled considerably and I'm running late....

Laters!

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" You ever looked at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder, how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it." - One Tree Hill, Season 4

I'm completely beat. My slide took me almost four hours to be exact and I didn't even upload ALL the pictures i took. I uploaded the pictures while watching tv and while chatting with random people on msn....erm, windows msgr. So it didn't really feel like I had lost half a lifetime... I did get a scowling look from my mom every now and then though. So there! Finally, my terrificly terrifying BRATs journey...

Terrific coz it was. And terrifying, coz of it's rather revealing and honest approach. Here's a breakdown.

Day 1

Intimidating. It was rather unsettling to be staring and to be stared down by a group of people who you know you are gonna spend 4 days with. Impressions were being formed right from the beginning. The senior BRATs led us to our flight like we were sheep and they were the Sheppard. I think my obliviousness regarding the portrayal of seat numbers on the flight can be excused considering it was my first time in a plane, alone... So I just traipsed along with the future BRAT in front of me, who I late got to know as Lee Mei. A stewardess came to my rescue and pointed out my seat to me. Lee Mei sat beside me. After a brief introduction, we both held our tongues in nervous apprehension. Turbulence and pesky flight conditions, we were in it together... in silence that is.

We arrived at Kingwood Inn on our own accord. Three of us shared a taxi, yep, transport from the airport to the Inn was not provided. I got a fantastic view of the city along the way.. Kuching's very much like KL... People DONOT live in trees, there're no rumah panjangs to see and it is pretty developed. It's a lot like KL, minus the gargantuan amounts of cars that flood the road.

First up, was the ice breaking session where i successfully cauterized my name in the eyes of many as 'the pink' (....I was wearing a pink shirt) and 'the girl who hates orange'(in case ur wondering, i don't hate orange but people will say anything when they're put in the spotlight and pressed for words...) We played a couple of games to hike up the energy levels and then dismissed for lunch. The food there was awesome, and eating with my new found friends was even more awesome... Thankfully, I wasn't the only 19 year old there. There were a bunch of us actually... I was reunited with Pei Ying from CHS who was my computer lab partner in form one. SHe's Rapunzel now compared to those days when she used to scout a short boyish crop. Then there was Cheu Keat, i think, who was in CHS AND in Sunway College doing A Levels, who I never noticed before the camp.... Man, I'm such a prissy! He said he'd always acknowledged my existence, driving me burgundy with blunder almost immediately!

My point is, there were loads of us, 19 year old BRATs (ooh, love to say it!). I was particularly close to Alesha, Pei Ying, Eunice, Hui Jean, Jeanette and my group members throughout the entire thing although I did get along with most people.

The rest of day 1 was marked with workshops and more workshops. Only this time, we got to do what no BRAT had ever done, a standup-er. Sorta broadcast journalist type where you speak into the camera...

Day 2

Woke up early to go out on our first assignment - street polls! I particularly enjoyed this one. There's just a thrill about approaching unknown people on the street and quizzing them. Our questions evolved around the art of the traditional Sarawakian tattoo... We were split into twos amongst our group members and I ended up with Jing Wen. Together, we covered the whole of Carpenter Street and even went beyond our permitted zone, of course, unintentionally.

After lunch back at the inn, we had to complete our assignments. While doin this, we had another task. To make an edible meal outta Maggi products. I thought ours was pretty good la but we didn't win. Had loads of fun making it with the girls though.

Then workshops and games... Pssst, just so you know, i managed to figure out ALL the BRATs games. Some of them have the dumbest philosophies yet they can drive you nuts. Seriously? Bright? Not so much!

Day 3

Pepper Board day. Apart from wearing masks and trying to get the slightest bit of information amidst the blaring noises of the pepper ridden machines, I don't remember much...

The best lunch ever!!! We went to this place at Carpenter Street where they served awesome fish and chicken and some desert wrapped in pandan leaves which Alesha completely despised but I ravished.

We were given some time to shop after lunch. I think we managed to burn off the lunch good by speed walking and running in and out of souvenir shops with the limited time we had. BRATs are crazy shoppers. Seriously! We shopped til the very last second!

Presentation night. Big bummer. I was Oprah Winfrey. Our group was so unprepared. We changed the title thrice. We did an impromptu dance that went haywire. Total malfunction. You can just imagine how it went. Good times!

Day 4

Bubye day. We said our sad goodbyes and exchanged e mail addresses. Friendster is very functional when it comes to these situations. Anyway, will never forget the fun i had with all u Kuching BRATs out there. Journalism isn't all it's cut up to be and only a journey like this one will reveal the many skeletons in a true blue journalists' closet.

The highlight of day 4 though, was meeting up with Jacintha. I didn;t get enough of shopping at Carpenters street on day 3 so i forced Jas to hit the shops with me and like a true friend, she did. It was so good to catch up with her again, although it was just in between bargaining and while I stared in awe at the beautiful souvenirs Kuching was blessed with. (......still can't believe i didn't get a cat! PFFFtt!)

Anyhoo, she took me to her gigantic paradise of a house and there I met the bubbly and enthusiastic Tagals. Eldest brother Justin, future groom, eldest sis, Jemima-future doctor, the oh-so-famous Joyce Tagal, and little Jeanette... They are such wonderful, hospitable people who perpetually coaxed me into eating while i relentlessly turned down their offer. I felt like I was in a dream, just sitting there in her house and taking in the ambiance. I simply had to take a picture with her and her mom and her sister.

Jas drove me to the airport at tortoise speed (sry jas!) an hour before my flight. She chatted up a stranger while I instinctively dropped news that she was about to leave for Harvard. Even I took such pleasure in saying it, yet again.... It seems to me that God sends me friends who become famous, high achieving individuals - Esther Elizabeth, Jacintha Tagal, Adam Chong Szetho.... I've always remembered to thank him for bringing such exceptional people into my life and someday, i truly hope that I might become someone exceptional....

Although it's hard to feel like that day is around the corner with me bumming at home most of the time....

APRRC update coming soon altho i feel like I've run a marathon and deserve to put my legs up for the next one year. Sigh.

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