There's always a first
9:16 AM
Turbulent. Right now that's what it is. I feel like talking about it is not an option coz it drives me deeper and deeper into a state of depression. It's better to just disregard the issue and the burden that comes with it.
The good that's come out of it? Carelessness. Well. At least I see it as a good thing for now. You could take a knife and stab it right through my heart and I would feel nothing. I think the confusion acts as an anasthaethic. There is so much of it. Stuff that I cannot fathom. Thoughts that are too scary to think about. Brushed aside... Because the more you get me to talk about it, the more I want to run away.
I don't know how it got to this, neither do I know why. I just know how I feel right now. And for the first time in my life, I feel completely lost. alone. insecure. and this time there is absolutely no one there to tell me that it will pass. no God. no parents. no significant other. no mentor. no friend or foe.
the question that lingers is : why, of all people, did you have to flee? Goes to prove that everyone always does leave. Well, they leave me at least.
The good that's come out of it? Carelessness. Well. At least I see it as a good thing for now. You could take a knife and stab it right through my heart and I would feel nothing. I think the confusion acts as an anasthaethic. There is so much of it. Stuff that I cannot fathom. Thoughts that are too scary to think about. Brushed aside... Because the more you get me to talk about it, the more I want to run away.
I don't know how it got to this, neither do I know why. I just know how I feel right now. And for the first time in my life, I feel completely lost. alone. insecure. and this time there is absolutely no one there to tell me that it will pass. no God. no parents. no significant other. no mentor. no friend or foe.
the question that lingers is : why, of all people, did you have to flee? Goes to prove that everyone always does leave. Well, they leave me at least.
