Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Lucky. Or not?

5:42 AM

Dear people who still read my blog. Fact is. I have been blogging in absentia. In my head. My head goes furious with thoughts but my fingers sometimes refuses to budge. I think starting work has actually exercised my fingers. Made it wiggle a bit if you will. So every time my thoughts go furious from now on I will blog. For the sake of my love for writing. Which I once claimed to have. I believe I am not fit for the title of a lovely writer any more. I've grown lazy.

On to more recent happenings. If you haven't already heard, I am now interning with Louis Vuitton. Every morning, I am propelled (literally) by a throng of people in some nook of an LRT which transports me right smack in the middle of KL - KLCC. And from there I take a nice long refreshing (zero sarcasm here) walk to Pavilion and from there I cross over to the dainty Starhill building, which feels like a floating heaven compared to the ferocious bustling streets surrounding it.


Ah. This is it. Pretty no?

Adorable glowing dome? Let me stop you there. Before I started interning with LV in the public relations department, I had never set foot into an LV store in my entire life. Neither did I know much about the brand. There was just something about the guards that stood at the entrance and my mediocre financial situation that scared me away from even the thought of exploring what was within. At present, I have still never set foot into an LV store (although that might change soon), but I certainly know SO much more about a brand I have learnt to respect.

It's been two weeks. And in the span of two weeks, I feel like I have endured so much already. My colleagues are incredible. Respectable for their status and yet very humble. Especially my boss who exudes class and appears to be the perfect role model. My fellow intern who is present at the moment to hand over her job to me is a girl with such a positive attitude that upon meeting her I was afraid that what I had to contribute wouldn't have been able to measure up to what she had contributed to the company during her tenure there. The environment seems like the perfect working environment.

With all that said, you would think I am at a pretty awesome position in life right now yes? Thing about me is, I can never be too grateful. I always believe that something petty is about to rain on my parade. Something waiting to jump out at me and go "BOOYAH" which leaves me in a disconnected, discontented position. I hate to admit it but sometimes negativity takes over my mentality. I'm always thinking about the things that could go wrong instead of things that can actually go right or went right.

Fact is. There are a lot of things that went right with work. Some things that went wrong. But I think the best thing yet was my decision to work. Coz, for once, and let me be positive this time, I feel like this job will actually help me grow. Coz as it is, it has made me venture beyond my comfort zone. It made me, somewhat, quit acting like a prima donna and resort to public transport. It's shown me that just by starting somewhere, anywhere, some very spectacular things can be achieved. It's made me pride myself that such great responsibility has been thrust upon my shoulders. It has shown me that sometimes you just need to enjoy your own company rather than that of any other.

Yes. The much harder, greater challenges have yet to come knocking. But just as what the year of the Golden Rabbit has in store for me - a year full of challenges, all I can do now, ready or not, is to be prepared to take a year of challenges, discoveries and revelations by the horns. If anything at all, at least I can be rest assured that by the end of the year I will emerge a stronger person than the one that mirrors me at the moment. This job is perhaps only the first step.

As 2011 begins to unveil itself, I can safely say, that unlike any other year, this year I only have ONE resolution.

patience - to watch and wait and learn.

Til next time....

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Joy

1:41 AM

Joy.

The joy of having good friends.

Naina's 21st in her mansion-like house. Theme: the roaring twenties.


The Joy of dance.

The UMSA crew at the AMS Dinner. Ladies in the sarees and I were involved in the traditional indian dance from Devdas and those clad in black did the Sumazau dance.

The joy of being Indian.

wearing the Gujju style saree. Tied so effortlessly by Kuha and thanks to Shanika for the saree itself.....

If only I had the joy of time as well but I have so much to do!!! Will be relieved as soon as the coming week is over.

My mom wrote the greatest article of all time about God in the newspapers. Simple yet so much truth and I couldn't have agreed more with what she had to say. I guess I'm proud to be my mother's daughter. Another source of JOY. the heaven's are singing on me! Here's the link : mom's the best :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The gift of time

12:42 AM

Ah. Finally. Some blogging time that does not feel too rushed. Submitted my second 3000 word essay yesterday. Feels like a whole burden has lifted off my shoulders. My essay was on obesity from a critical psychology perspective. Where statistics alone didn't matter. All that reading made me stop and look at the other side of the underlying causes of obesity. Ah well. Enough about that. Soon another burden will fall on my shoulders. Yet another 3000 word essay on Alzheimers is due when uni resumes in only a matter of days. As much as I hate writing academic essays, I think this semester somewhat culminated a change. They say practice makes perfect. I'm nowhere near perfect but neither do I squander around cluelessly for sources any longer.

What have I been doing for the break you might ask? Throughout the first week it was a battle between catching up on sleep, recuperating post UMSA ball and disciplining myself to sit down and do the damn essay already! But this week it's been more of a daze. Most of the time I feel my mind drifting away, thinking about a holiday, thinking about a future, thinking about everything apart from uni. And I let it drift. It's perhaps the only time it's appropriate to let your mind drift in the haste of everything.

I think Akash and i have assumed a couple friendship sorta thing with Charles and Chandni. They say couples tend to hang out with couples. I've always thought this wasn't true until I started realizing the comfortable feeling that creeped in ever since we started hanging out with this cute couple:


they is awesome!! such a born "there" but bred "here" couple.

This was at Denny's last weekend where the food was so-so, the service was the crappiest of all time crappiness but the dessert was heavenly!!



warm chocolate fudge over ice cream sandwiched between moist chocolate cake. All four of us shared this delightful concoction.

We went to the casino after coz according to my feng shui, which Akash thinks is total crap and my mother follows religiously, claimed that I had gambling luck this month. Well, perhaps I did, coz we did end up winning ten dollars from Lotto. But I think the entire idea of astrology working at all is on the precondition that you do not become a greedy pig while interpreting it. So there we were gambling the ten dollars that we had won on Russian Roulette, and just as easy as we had won the money, it was lost again. Just like that.


A view from way up above. Gotta say, it felt a bit intimidating sitting next to the affluent (or perhaps not...) and betting a ten dollar note while everyone else possibly had hundreds on the table....

I think I've discovered a new love for dance within me. I am perhaps THE slowest learner of all time. But lately, with Matt's help and with the UMSA Ball and now with this AMS performance thing coming up, I've begun to catch a rhythm I never knew I had. Which is good really. We're performing this Indian dance from Devdas for the Auckland Malaysian Society Night. I think Kuha's really talented, the way she choreographed the dance moves. It's easy to pick up and yet looks complicated enough to pass off as impressive.

It's weird how my body seems to know the right time to have certain cravings for things that are in season. For instance, as of now, I'm having the meanest craving for lotus paste mooncake. I don't think it's the mooncake itself. I think it's also got to do with the nostalgic feeling I get while eating mooncake since I was a little kid. Red bean paste was my favorite then and I recall mumsy cutting the entire thing up into tiny pieces and giving me three each time. I also recall how I used to eat the edges first and then the sweet filling. Ah so nice.

my lotus paste mooncake! I waaaannnnnnt! It's so exxy here in Auckland. Like crazy rip off!


Eleven months. Me. My baby pie. And the world.

And finally. Where do we go from here? There's so much that I've not thought about. A future that I'm scared to be in without you. I know this may sound cheesy to everyone else who's reading this. But I cannot be more honest. Eleven months. And there's been more than a couple of bumps in the road. More ugliness than I would've predicted. Yet, I don't think I would change any part of it. Coz it took me eleven months to realize that throughout it all, I've found a bestfriend, a boyfriend, someone I trust, who puts all the rest to shame, who stands by me during my lowest and sticks by me in all annoyance. I love you heaps Akash Jani. More everyday. For the grandfathe- like front that you sometimes put on and the little kid who's really within you. LOL. Mwahhhhh!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Breaking free

4:27 AM

Some ball pictures that I sneaked in... others are up on Facebook....

UMSA committee 2010. The lovely people.


with some of the committee members...

with the cool peeps at my table. Such sporting people, none of them were UMSA members, all just came to support me... missing from this snap was Nathan and Wei-Yuen who left earlier.

Akash came as my pilot that day =D


Me and the Fire dance girls. Jie Huei choreographed the dance as our ball opening act....

I spoke the truth to someone I love today. It doesn't matter what the truth is or the consequences. The liberating feeling is all that matters. That you no longer carry the burden of the silly awkwardness that lingers situation after situation, time after time.

I notice with time that I keep discovering all the things that I don't want in life. Why is it then that it's so hard to discover the things that I actually do want? Do I have to slash out all the options on my list until one prominent one prevails?

I feel like I'm in desperate need of close girl friends. I need that sort of an intimacy right now.

I wish I had more inspiration to write yet another 2 3000 worded essays this break. I feel robbed off my break. What's the point when there're irritating thoughts of assignments lurking within the mind?

The ball just passed. And after all those practices and dances and planning, there's an anti climatic feel in the air. The ball went superb, perhaps the most successful one thus far so why this feeling?

I miss something. But I don't know what that is right now. I can't pinpoint. I just know I miss it.

I feel like breaking free. Sitting under a coconut tree in the warm sun and zoning out would be ideal. Getting away.

I feel like I could try harder. But I just couldn't be bothered right now.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

New

12:56 PM

I feel New. For some reason. Weird.

I have an Economics assignment due today. For the first time I feel like it was all my effort and not that of the study group that I am in.

The ball is tomorrow! TOMORROW!! Everything that we've been working towards ends tomorrow. Happy? Sad? What am I supposed to feel for this, potentially, last ball ever? The only ball that I will be attending with an official date. The only ball that I'm obligated to dance/sing/act for all three at once. All the practices that made my calves hurt. The dance moves that I never thought I could pick up, picked up. A ball dress size I never thought I could fit, fitted. A table I never thought I could fill, filled. Akash is hiring a pilot outifit. LOL. Cute!! Tomorrow better be a day worth of all its frustrations.

I can't wait for the break. The ball will be like an opening ceremony to it.

I don't know if I should go back to gyming like how I used to. It's so weird how I've stopped (Well, not totally, i go every now and then), and people are telling me that I'm losing weight. I've always been skeptical about weight loss when it comes to me. But perhaps I have, not too drastically. And this is on top of the fact that Akash feeds me chocolates, heaps. I think it's perhaps coz I'm more tuned to my hunger now. I can actually tell when I'm really hungry and when I'm just craving for something for the fun of it.

I love all these little loopholes. <3. I hate how this is potentially my last semester in uni. I love how it's getting to spring.

ps: my house mate gave me chocolate body paint. =D

signing off

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Miss.....

4:01 AM

I should get rambling before I become way to busy to blog again. Sprawled on my to-do list is already a good number of things to do. The semester started this week. Three days into it and I've not done much apart from catching up with old friends and trying to get my enrolment settled. Thankfully, I am feeling ALOT better from perhaps a month ago. I recognize the familiar zest for life that I used to possess. Maybe it's just a hint of what the full blown zest is on normal levels, but even hints are a blessing at this point.

I'm enrolled in neuroscience, gender pyschology, public economics and international business as a gen ed paper this semester. Am finding gender psych particularly interesting coz of it's content and public economics interesting coz of the lecturer. Still a little iffy about neuroscience coz it contains a lot of neuroimaging and neurodegenerative disease content and it's apparently a very mentally taxing paper but I am pretty positive that I will do moderately well in that paper. And international business seems a little dry to me, sadly, so i might switch to physics as a gen ed. Ah well, time will tell.

On to more interesting stuff. I rediscovered my love for some things during the winter break. Things that I lost touch with when everything seemed hectic and rushed and when I was seemingly in a frenzy of worries and deadlines. It really is weird how the simplest things that are familiar can make you feel like a whole different person. Sometimes I think I don't know myself well enough, my limitations, strengths, how to make the burdens of a hundred acres lift off my shoulders. Mine is a life of constantly underestimating my strengths, overestimating my limitations and ignoring the little things that bring a smile to my face. I think I owe it to myself sometimes to take some time off and rediscover the world and myself in a different light. And thankfully I have many good friends to do it with and mummy and Akash to constantly remind me to see my glass as half full instead of half empty.


Took me the whole of the first semester to realize that the number of hours I spent with Melitta this year was miniscule compared to last year. And that was something I missed dearly and did not realize in the haste of many things. I miss having girly gossips with a good girlfriend. Talking for ages about other people and how they were with this person or that person and what happened there and with who and how. Cooking together. Wedging ourselves infront of the tv together. I miss all that. It seems like this year I conveniently left all that out to compensate for other things. Where I used to have Leeza, Joanna, Cassie, Melitta, this year I was deprived. But a plan will be executed now that this realization has settled in. I'm all set for zumba with Melzers and Kailas every Fridays and Saturdays and that'll settle my appetite for a girly rush hopefully.


I miss taking pictures like these. Moments when you feel you just have to stop to capture the scene that lies before you, well in this case, above you.

I miss having soy hot chocolate at Starbucks where the atmosphere is sombre and you feel like one of those elite people. And yes, no matter how much I enunciate and spell out my name to the baristas, it always ends up as 'Demi'....


I miss long walks in the blithering cold at the Viaduct harbour.


I miss the satisfaction that comes with baking. A hunger that I think I have satisfied well throughout the break.


I miss walking in someone else's pants. Not literally. But this picture is the real deal. Those are Akash's pants.. LOL.


And finally, I miss receiving chocolates as gifts. Joy. Unraveling the pretty wrappers and having soft chocolate cascade over my tongue. Utter joy.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Akash takes over

3:05 AM

This blog needs some love, especially from the guy that this girl loves the most. I can see that she does not blog that often but then i say its my fault too because i steal all her blogging time. I do not blog that much because i dont know what to write and yea i have ran out of words. So meh!
adios for now! i shall return with some good stories soon to bring this blog back in business!
PEaCe