Bridging Fantasy & Reality

One last post to end 23

2012-01-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

I turn 24 in 3 days. Makes me look back in retrospect and think how 23 was significant to me. Apart from having to turn older quicker than everyone else,I kinda love how my birthday falls in the month of January. Everyone's still in a festive mood from the remnants of Decembers' partying and fired up with new resolutions to take on the new year.

This year my birthday falls in that odd wandering period of the Chinese New Year holidays. I mention "odd wandering" because although it isn't an official public holiday, a lot of people are still on leave continuing to enjoy the prosperity that the dragon year hasushered in.

Truth be told, I am not even the least bit excited to be turning 24. Maybe it's the roll of the tongue when you say those numbers or the fact that as I write this I feel that there is little to look forward to in the coming months? To eliminate the lack of enthusiasm, I forced myself to be inspired enough to come up with this blog post so I could recap all my achievements in 2011

and hopefully put 2012 in perspective. After all, I should remain an optimist because I hear that 2012 is a good year for the diplomatic rabbit person (yours truly).

So 2011 kicked off with me starting all over again in the motherland.

taken from SkyBar durig Allan's 24th Bday celebration (Jan 2012)

I did not know if I was going to be back for good or if it was just a phase I would grow out of once I revisited the place I called home and reconnected with my family and friends. At that point in time, deciding to work in Malaysia was one of the least likely decisions that I would have made.

The Internship

taken during Louis Vuitton's annual dinner, theme 70s (April 2011)

Interning at Louis Vuitton Malaysia in the public relations department was yet another venture that fell onto my lap pretty soon after I returned to Malaysia. All I knew was that I needed and wanted an internship to pass my time not very long after my return so that I could pick up some useful skills. Also, it didn't hurt to beef up my CV with written achievements. I have to admit that I only accepted the position because LouisVuitton was an exclusive name and to be associated with it was an honour on my part. And additionally because it was the highest paying internship that I had come across.

Besides, I was curious to find out if public relations was something I wanted to venture into in the future and before I knew it, I was frequenting a posh penthouse office in the luxurious Starhill Gallery smack in the center of KL everyday. It mattered at first that I had to take the LRT back and forth to KL everyday and that my life was like a flashback of scenes from Devil Wears Prada but it all played out to my advantage at the end of it all.

I realized that it really paid to be organized and I got a taste of working directly with media publications. I even got a chance at writing one of my very own cover letters which was circulated to the most exclusive magazines and which I will be endlessly grateful to the Assistant Public Relations Manager, Jasmine for. I suppose although it felt like I was moving from day to day in a routined manner, I managed to inject some form of creativity into the job scope and I am ever so grateful to have left my mark on LV in a way.

Travels

2011 was a year that really took me places which I find quite ironic given that I was forced to be rooted in Malaysia even though my thoughts strayed about starting a life in a different country.

It started off with Singapore once my internship ended. Felt like I needed to get away and see Akash for a bit which is exactly what I did. But Singapore turned out to be as much as a holiday as it was a reason to spend quality time with the person I loved. I knew from this trip on wards that there were many more to come for us.

Taken on the Boardwalk from Sentosa Island to Singapore City (April 2011)

I can still recall clearly how thrilled I was to finally visit Universal Studios in Singapore. It was really all that I had ever imagined. (April 2011)

Flinders Street Station. Melbourne's trademark. (April 2011)

Next up was Melbourne where the sun shone brightly and city bustled with vibrance. The countless markets and ad hoc street shows and events were all a real entertainment and I could tell why so many choose to flock to Melbourne and make a living there. I enjoyed everything really, from the diverse food choices to the museums which boasted culture and the shopping although I was overwhelmed with frugality. Will definitely visit Melbie again.

Reconnecting with old friends. (April 2011)

At Yarra Valley for wine tasting with the family. April 2011.

Taken from the Park within Queenstown. May 2011.

I think one of the highlights this year was Queenstown but in a very subtle sort of way. Queenstown was breathtaking. The views were amazing although the weather was slightly too frigid. Definitely one of the most serene places I have ever visited. I mention that it was a subtle highlight because it was actually our last stop during our three week holiday and we were all pretty worn out by then. So it was the perfect way to end the awesome trip. My mum, aunty Purni and I made this our to go destination after my graduation in Auckland.

Breathtaking Milford Sound. A place you definitely have to visit at least once in your lifetime. (May 2011)

taken from the peak of Kings Park. June 2011.

And then there was Perth, Western Australia. Perth, again, was as much as a trip as it was a getaway to spend time with the person I loved. There was so much about Perth that reminded me of Auckland. The laid back lifestyle, the rolling hills and acres of parks, even some parts of the city itself. So much so that when I walked hand in hand with Akash down the walkways that felt somewhat familiar, it seemed perfect. Like we were back in the days when we had just met and everything was funnily uncomplicated.

My second visit to Perth. Taken at Freo (Oct 2011)

Achievements

I guess my biggest achievement was finally graduating with a double major in Economics and Psychology. I finally ended my phase of education this year to move on to another phase in life - WORK. I think I was high on life during my tenure at Auckland Uni. I loved being busy, loved being part of an organisation, loved the exam buzz and most of all, I loved the people that uni allowed me to stumble into. I started the journey alone but came out of it with a whole throng of people I learnt to love and trust along the way. It was one of the most amazing journeys I have been on to date and to finally have it end, I felt like part of me was left behind. But here I am, having started anew, with the sweetest memories that I took with me. And with many relationships that stand strong til now.

A picture with the family. Taken at Aotea Center, Auckland. May 2011

Another with my UMSA mates, people that made Auckland feel more like home to me. Taken in Albert Park, May 2011.

Groupon office (Sept 2011)

In July 2011, I became part of the Groupon family. I think this was the peak of my year. Joining Groupon was one of the best decisions I have made to date. There were other job offers, there were other opportunities, one of which was to apply for a work and travel visa and leave my family once again to live abroad. And in place of all those, I chose this. Groupon has been a roller coaster ride for me. The first couple of months plunged me into an unexpected twist of events and for a moment, I was convinced that I had chose the wrong path for myself. But resilience took over hopelessness and as I strove to achieve perfection, I began to really live for each and everyday and cherish the moments that went by. This was what completely differed from my experience at LV where I just lived through the phases. Groupon allowed me to actually enjoy every single moment while gritting my teeth to achieve what was expected of me.

In sept 2011 I graduated as a Groupon employee.

Months into it and all thoughts of quitting has left my mind. I keep learning from the experience everyday and the friendships that have culminated with time keeps me rooted even during the most trying times. Groupon beams with a culture that is hard to come by in a society that swears by pure achievement. It challenges you to speak up for yourself and allows your voice to matter. It allows you to be involved and feel like you are involved. And its rewards are endless, be it in the form of incentives, learning or people that you will meet along the way and within the organization. Of course I would really be appreciative if I were given the chance to expand my skills and acquire a position of leadership. But I am grateful everyday for the life that Groupon has enthralled me with because I am the sort of person who lives for an outlet like this.

Groupon expands with 120 employees, Dec 2011. This was during our christmas Secret Santa revelation party.

The working life has awarded me with independence. I have had three salary increments ever since joining Groupon and incentives which allowed me to formulate a savings plan. My increase in net worth is confusing at the very least and deeply gratifying at the most. Confusing in the sense that now that I have money, I don't know if I should start shopping for more branded items or if I should save the bulk of it for a rainy day. I think I am still a bit tight on my purse strings but I know how to reward myself when the time calls for it. Eitherway, I still have plenty of time to consider between branded or not judging by the number of working years that I now have before me.

Relationships

After joining Groupon, my social life definitely heightened. But I am the type of person who likes to base my life on the depth of relationships rather than the width of it. It's great to have a whole lot of acquaintances but I think what's even sweeter is to have friends that I am comfortable around and who I can truly confide in. 2011 was definitely a year of networking for me. A year of reconnecting with those who truly matter to me like my immediate family and the friends that I have had the priviledge of knowing since forever.

My central support unit. Everyone important to me is standing right here except for Leeza Foo who was away in the US of A during this point in time. Taken during my 23rd birthday party at Souled Out, Hartamas. Jan 2011.

My amazing bestfriends. I just realized that we truly are a travelling sisterhood unit. Lee Hua has been to UK and back and currently resides in Singapore as a posh architect. Cassie was once in UK too (ok, for a short period of time) but I think she has traveled journies of her own within Malaysia itself and within Deloitte to be more precise. Leez has gone to US and back and wishes to end back there someday. And through all of our journeys, we have still come back to each other with hillarious stories and thoughts to share. I love this friendship of ours and wish that in years to come, nothing about it will change. Picture taken at The Hills during Leez's 23rd birthday (Aug 2011).

Pictured here are some of my amazing colleagues who support each other through thick and thin. Without these guys, the Groupon experience would have fallen short. Taken at Brotzeit German Bistro, Mid Valley. (Dec 2011)

All personalities come shining through at Groupon. :P At our Halloween Party at a rented bungalow on Jln Gasing. (Oct 2011)

Last but not least, my relationship with Akash has grown tremendously this year. Ironically, the further a person is, the more you know about them. Things that work and don't work. Our temperaments. Personalities and the mounting of problems. We pulled through. Don't think it was easy, at least for me it was not and for him it was probably harder but at the end of it all, I am that much more grateful that he is a part of my life. There's this funny little thing called love. It drives you crazy but you can never say you have truly lived without experiencing all of it.

Another Beginning...

The social media team at Groupon asked me how I wanted to end my year back in 2011 and I replied : With lotsa love (see above). I think I really did end my year last year with lots of love. I could feel it jumping at me from all directions. Although sometimes I would beg to differ, because after all I am a worry wart, drama queen, slightly pessimistic and partly ungrateful sort of a person. Fact is, I am truly blessed and lucky in every way possible. We all are. We just forget to realize it sometimes. Because every one of us is so immersed and far off into our own little misconceptions of perfection, we forget to pat ourselves on the back for the things we have achieved and beat ourselves up over things we cannot seem to. Think about it.

Joy to the Worrrllddd.

2011-12-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas is in the air. I think I actually feel it this year. What with the overly decorated malls in my motherland and all. But more than anything else, I think I feel it because of the sense of togetherness that it seems to be bringing once again. Sister's back, Mike's back, friends from NZ land are back and I feel closer than ever to some people at work AND oddly, Skyping with Akash actually feels like quality time spent together instead of a quick exchange of updated routines.

The unveiling of christmas this year is made even more interesting by:-

1. Groupon's Secret Santa stunt

I have to admit, talent management pulled off a pretty spectacular one by materializing this. My office social e mails have been going berserk with colleagues thanking their Secret Santas to no end. No offense to whoever my Secret Santa is, but I think he should be upping his game. All I got this week was a sweet note with a choki choki stick beside it on Wednesday and today, I got a second note on my desk asking me to head to the microwave to check its contents. There was nothing in it when I opened it, only a note on the ceiling of the microwave staring back at me saying : "Must have been the rat... Better luck next time". And here I was thinking Secret Santas were supposed to be everything apart from manipulative :P

Why you so disappointing wan my Secret Santa!!!

On the flip side, I've been a pretty awesome Secret Santa thus far. I've come up with catchy notes and interesting little surprises to keep my victim on his toes. I feel like making it a little more interesting, but we'll see if I do end up having the time to inject interest into the entire process.

2. My sudden generosity when it comes to purchasing gifts for other people

I don't know what has gotten into me off late but I seem to be overly keen to spend money on other people. Today I donated RM 10 to a perfect stranger who came into Starbucks, mind you! to pitch about how he was collecting money for children who had no milk to drink and who were malnourished. He showed me his license for collecting money and everything and so I thought what the heck! If it was for a good cause then I'm in. I also have this unfaltering surge to bulk purchase like toys or something for orphans OR perhaps to donate my unwanted clothes to some form of cause. It's almost as if I feel like my increase in net worth should be shared a little with those who are less fortunate and who may appreciate the spirit of giving.

3. The fact that the year is almost over.

The first half of this year was messy, so to speak, on my part. I didn't know where the hell to start with my life and felt like I was just bobbing up and down with the flow. But then again, when I look back to evaluate what I've actually achieved, I think it adds up to pretty damn heaps. For one, I graduated from Uni. I found a job AND graduated from it. I took on an internship which helped me somewhat figure out a certain industry. I survived an entire freaking year in a long distance relationship. I managed to travel the most this year compared to any other year. I reconnected with old friends and it felt amazing. I scored the best first job ever (like every Groupon employee says : it all goes downhill from here). This year was challenging in its own way but hey, it's almost the end, and we're all still here. So that must account for something, right?

ahhhh. christmas. new year. life. bring it bitch. i'm here. and i ain't going nowhere.

The Breadth of Life

2011-12-03T06:11:00.000-08:00

There was a quote I stumbled upon recently. I can't recall if it was from a book or if it was from a movie that I watched. But the fact that I remember it to this day means it struck some sort of chord with me. Life is about living the breadth of it, not merely the length of it.

I'd like to think that I've been really living it up both ways. But fact is, I know that there is more breadth to life. Or my life at least. Look how long it took me to reconnect with my love for pouring out my feelings in words. Long enough for blog parasites to invade my chat box, that's how long

I've been itching to cook up a storm in the kitchen for the longest time. Be it a simple dish of tom yam soup or a more complicated concoction of stuffed ravioli. I remember how life in Auckland granted me permission when it came to making a complete mess out of the kitchen and in the process a masterpiece was somehow created. Be it a darn good cake or a recipe I never knew I had it in me to prepare. Things just aren't the same in the comfort of my own home. And not in a bad way either. Whenever I get back from work, there's always a warm meal prepared by my darling mother. The only thing I dislike about this arrangement is I don't know how much salt/sugar/oil goes into each meal. Conclusion is, I miss the autonomy that I once had when it comes to preparing my own meals and the only way I am actually going to go back to doing that is if I live by myself and am forced to start being completely responsible for what goes into my mouth. Right now, it just seems too much of an effort and I will somehow have to ease myself back into it.

My teeth are falling out just looking at these!!!

Despite my current state of contentment, there are a couple of other things that wouldn't really hurt if it were positioned at my advantage just as well. For instance, my physical wellbeing. I actually miss the uphill walks I used to take ever so often back in uni. Not having a car was somewhat the best thing that happened to my calves. Walking from my place to the Foodtown at Britomart and then refusing to take the bus and lugging everything back with my bare hands (and the help of my bf/bffs) was the best decision I had ever made. The walks allowed me to really connect with what I was doing (lugging), with the stretch of my hamstrings and glutes, with the chill that ran up and down my spine during winter and the red imprints that the plastic bags left across my palms from the weight of the groceries. Call me psychotic but I miss all that dearly.

Having a car and driving to and from work is a blessing. But a very mechanical one too. These days I feel like I sit on my bottom way too much and in order to get moving I've actually considered paying a fair amount of money for fitness classes at cut throat gyms. I still have not joined one yet by the way because I'm considering between the yoga classes down the road from my place or the zumba classes at an over crowded gym. Last thing I want is to be locked into a gym I hardly use. I mean seriously, how tough can it be to get moving every now and then, you'd think? Even with a sales job that requires me to be out of the office more than cooped up in one, I'd say that it's a pretty tough feat coz rather than cooped up in an office, I'm sandwiched in my car racing against traffic which involves no movement of my glutes what so ever. So there. I know why people start getting fat when their career seems to take off and I am determined to make it otherwise for me. Stay tuned to find out the status of my success (or failure....).

It also wouldn't really hurt if my man was around a little more often and our only means of communication wasn't hunched in front of a computer and in a haste over skype. I love Akash to bits and pieces but sometimes, I really wish I didn't have to sit in front of the computer again as soon as I came back from work so that I could reconnect with him. I mean even the frequency of that has reduced because when I look at the computer screen again after work, nausea squirms through my body probing me to wriggle away. Lucky for me, the sweetheart that he is will never hold it against me. Aside from that, I'm really proud to claim that we made it an entire year apart. I really admire the patience and constant communication that brought us to where we are although the first couple of months were bumpy. I also admire how in our capacity we always managed to schedule in holidays to be spent with each other

2 years. 1 together. 1 apart. and we're still rocking the scene. :) I've learnt that it's all about trust, patience, communication and determination.

Christmas is in the air once again. Look how time flies. Soon the new year will unveil itself and kick me in the butt each time I stop to take a breather. For now, I'm just going to bask in the glory of the festivities and buy as many gifts as possible for all the people I have come to adore because christmas is a time to give. Give and you shall receive.

Here's wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas. Spend it with your loved ones. With your friends. And your colleagues. With God or underneath a Christmas tree. In a sock or with a wrapper. Just make sure to feel it in your bones.

Graduation 2.0

2011-09-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

2nd graduation for the year

Change. The only thing in life that is constant. Resistance. The only thing that makes coping with change a tad more difficult.

My life of late has been defined by more than a fair share of change. Just when one thing starts slipping into status quo another change comes whooping in to mash and jiggle it up a little, disorientating yours truly. Resistance is probably the only thing I have been familiar with all this while. Whenever there's a change, there is this immediate compulsion to groan and moan injustice. To the point where I am convinced that the non existent injustice reigns supreme and all negativity bursts through like a cracked dam failing to hold back water. So my goal for the rest of the year is to embrace change. It's never too late to slip in another resolution albeit the high speed at which the year seems to be zooming past at.

My life as a business consultant in Groupon has been a series of constant changes. There are some days that suck beyond words. Those days have taught me some of the most valuable lessons. There were days when I was confused and puzzled as to what my main objectives were. Those were the days that got me to question my priorities. There were days that brimmed with rejection which led me to search for an inkling of hope. And then there were some days when I lost good friends who chose to develop their careers elsewhere, those were the days when I reached out and tried to seek comfort in others which ultimately brought me closer to new people. There were days when I lost my way around town and thought I'd never find a way back again. Those were the days I discovered new routes and shortcuts to avoid traffic congestions in the future.

And then, there were the days when I practically jumped out of bed with the excitement of meeting new people reverberating in my body. Days where I laughed so hard I thought I could cry. Days when the people I went out to meet presented me with more opportunities and inspired me altogether. Days when the tenacity and willingness to help of my fellow colleagues really touched my heart. Days when the value of my commission surpassed my salary. Days when I confronted my fear of standing in front of a crowd to speak what was in my mind. Days that I did not resist changes and felt the goodness that came out of it.

What an enriching experience it has been. An exploration at its very best. And despite the fear that I have of falling flat on my face some day along the road, I am glad that I have learnt that change is not such a bad thing after all once we start embracing it and stop resisting it. I graduated as a permanent employee at Groupon on Monday and it was certainly a milestone for me in terms of achievements in my life. Simply because it was a challenge at the very least which made me leave my comfort zone and explore something that I never thought I'd end up liking.

I owe this blog one too many entries.

Happy Meals

2011-06-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

You know that really good feeling that comes when you laugh so hard that tears spill out of your eyes and your tummy muscles gleefully cramp up? I am so glad that I have friends and family who give me this rather joyful workout as I readjust to life in Malaysia. These are the things that I seemingly live for lately. To let loose all my inhibitions and enjoy light moments that come by every now and then. Glad to say that I've been enjoying more of my fair share recently.

I spent Saturday night with a group of friends that I met while living in Huia residence in Auckland. They are all Malaysian TESOL scholarship students and after two years of education there, they have returned to complete their training phase in KL. I'm pretty grateful to have them here to be quite honest coz with each person, I hold a different memory of a certain phase of my life in Auckland. Episodic memories that are all simultaneously retrieved when I spend time with them.

We headed to Indian Kitchen in Bangsar where we had an interesting array of really splendid Indian food. I got to taste the chicken, mutton, and seafaood briyani as well as the Goan fish curry with the garlic naan that I had ordered. And everything tasted surprisingly good to me, from the cucumber raita to the refreshing minty lemon drink that one of my friends had ordered. I'd totally recommend this place to anyone. We headed to McDonald's shortly after to for ice cream and a game of saboteur. Call me a nerd but I actually appreciate nights like these more than one with clubbing and drinks on the agenda. Never had I laughed so hard that I woke up the next morning feeling like I had done a couple of hundred sit ups in one go!

This is MY perfect idea of a sweet treat. Soft delicate swirls of vanilla ice cream flooded with warm thick chocolate fudge and great company to match. Heaven. Even more heavenly when shared amongst friends.

Shogi! Funny laugh. Man of his word. Can crack up a joke in the most tense of tense moments. Met this budding teacher to be at Huia where we went on a holiday of the east coast beaches in Auckland together....

Chewy - cutest sane alive. Adelynn - most feisty woman I've known to date. Chew was present every single day during UMSA's lantern fest preparation in Feb 2010. Met Adelynn when we set out on the same east coast Auckland beach road trip and we grew closer while training for futsal for the Auckland Bersatu Games in 2010.

Anita - giant heart. small eater. smile that could light up the world. Anita was an ornament that adorned Huia Residence. I significantly remember meeting her at the Huia Formal Dinner in 2009. Her smile made me smile in return.

whenever I hang out with this group of people in particular, they introduce me to new forms of card games. This time around it was Saboteur - a very awesome game especially if you have the numbers.

My darling grandmother's 82nd birthday was on Sunday. She woke up a little disorientated with cramps but by evening she was up and raring to go so we dressed up and went for a nice chinese dinner in SS2.

the lovely mango cake that mumsy bought her.

The cutest person ever. I noticed today that my grandmother values equality very seriously. She saved me an equal portion of her birthday cake because I was out the whole day and everyone else got to taste her cake. She's also got quite the eye of a hawk in the way that she observes people AND who says old people forget things easily! Definitely not her!

I wonder if I take after her?? Pati and me :) The very fortunate reason for the strange mix of culture and race that we have in our family.

The night concluded with durians because my grandmother adores savoring them just like a tauke would. With her fingers digging right into the yellow flesh and her lips covered in a custard-y concoction of what most non-Malaysian would deem terribly absurd. I'd say that this magnanimous woman was born to defy ;)

YUMMAY....

2011-06-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

I apologize for having to come up with this blog post in my blog which is usually adorned with very meaningful posts about very meaningful things that happens in my very meaningful life. I have to admit that at times, I am just a girl after all and I have my very own vices. And one of them is in the form of Ryan Reynolds.... *drools*.

Just got back from Tropicana City Mall where Allan and I finally caught up over lunch and then decided to sit down for a bit to Green Lantern. We went in fifteen minutes later but I don't think we missed much... At least not the most important bit (ie: THE BODY). Anyhoooo. I'm still over awed at how much Ryan has toned up from his Scrubs days. Kudos to him really because I don't even see an ounce of fat on that body... Perhaps I'm blinded by all the hotness?

From a scene in Srubs

Ryan NOW. Those chiseled absss!

Greek God.

In other areas. I think I should up my swimming ante. I realized this this morning when Allan came over to swim. I had already done 26 laps by the time he joined me and after that I think I did 20 something more with chat gaps in between and I didn't feel tired even then. Which is not good. Without diversifying your routines you gain very little out of it...

I also think I am losing my baking talent. Either that or the ancestral oven that we have is working against me. I tried baking cinnamon apple muffins yesterday but they didn't turn out properly. The inside was still pasty and it lacked that flaky texture. Which drives me to the conclusion that when you are purchasing a house, a lot of emphasis needs to be put into the kitchen. I for one would need an inspirational kitchen coz without the proper equipment I become easily uninspired. Sad but true.

Food time!

Jet Setter

2011-06-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

June. 20^th. 2011. Half a year has gone by without much warning. And honestly this year has picked up speed faster than a speeding electric locomotive. Unlike previous years when I used to marvel at the speed of time and wish that it just stopped cheating me off my age, this year I literally prompted the clock to fast forward to where it is at the moment. I gleefully cancelled out the days of the month as it slipped by and have no idea how I got to a point where the turning of time meant nothing more than a barrier to fulfill a holiday dream or a hindrance to spend time with a loved one. Perhaps the insecurities of where my future lay took me off guard ever since I waved goodbye to the small city where I spent three of the best years of my life pursuing my studies or perhaps it was the nervous tension that I felt each time I envisioned being in a long distance relationship? What I know for sure is that at present, and probably for the very first time in a long long while, I have no intention what so ever of slowing down the clock.

The year has gone by so far with many uncertainties on my part. First it was the issue of beginning a life in Auckland. Well that was until I found out how job demand in the country was against the good intentions of many job seekers that even my boyfriend had fled to find greener pastures in a more economically stable country. Then came the decision to stay at home and find a job versus go abroad on a work and travel visa and experience an independent albeit lonely life. I grappled with this decision for a while. Toyed with the idea and then decided that maybe at least a year at home wouldn’t be so bad now, would it? After all, I’m 23, if I really wanted to travel the world and start anew elsewhere, I should not be rushing to do it. Rather, I should give home a chance for a bit and see where it would take me. Only then, when I finally decide to leave home would I get to say that I truly experienced a work life that did not place utmost priority on work life balance.

Speaking of work, I have finally landed a position in a company that I am pretty excited to work for. Groupon, a multinational company that generates its income from the power of group buying has hired me as a business consultant responsible for negotiating some of the most interesting deals that we see on their website to date. The company is so young and dynamic and being the fastest growing company in the world, I don’t think there should be any reason to dispute my excitement. Since I’m only starting in July, I will leave all further comments/laments/rants/praises about my new position for future updates and cross my fingers that my first real job is everything that I dreamt it would be. For further information about Groupon in Malaysia, please feel free to browse the following: http://www.groupsmore.com/

A few significant events occurred in those many months during which I kept away from my blog. Or more precisely, events which I was too lazy to blog about because I was having too much fun savoring every moment of it. I finally set foot into Melbourne, Australia. The land that many deem to be a student paradise with its all too many trams and night life and entertainment. Truth to be told, I found Melbourne pleasant in all its wonders. The shopping would have been good if I had the money. The weather was very impressive throughout our entire week there. The company was splendid most of the time. The food was average - some too indulgent, others too large in proportion and others failed to live up to their name. But what Melbourne had in food was a variety. From Greek to Indian to Turkish. You name it, they have it. I can't say too much about the people because the city was a little too overpopulated for my liking and the people did not appear friendly. But perhaps that was because we came across some of the bad apples during our stay there. All in all I would sum up Melbourne to be a place you HAVE to visit but not one conducive enough for a person like me to choose to stay in. I'd happily settle and grow old in Auckland if I had to choose.

I summarize Melbourne with five of my favorite pictures or more precisely put, reasons why I would want to go back to the bustling city:

for the love of flea markets.

friends!!!

Artistic buildings ala Flinders Street Station

Graffiti Art

Food.Glorious Food.

Auckland was my next destination. I was greeted in Auckland by the familiarity that I had grown to love throughout all those years that I spent there. The friendly atmosphere, the ability to roam about without a care in the world, the abundance of friends who put a gigantic smile on my face. It was the perfect place to graduate, the perfect moments to bask in pride with the perfect people who made three years feel like three very precious minutes. Yes. I am finally A graduate. Hat on my head, scroll in my hands the whole works. And I could not have asked for a better way to receive the honour. My graduation day plays in my head with such clarity, I don't think even a diagnosis of dementia can take that away from me.

On the night before my graduation, I discovered that I had failed to do one of the most important things - make a booking and secure my graduation regalia. I initially thought that the university would provide this which was pretty silly of me really. Luckily insightful Andrew rang me up the night before and informed me of this very important piece of information. So there I was on the morning of my graduation rushing about trying to push my luck and secure a gown just in time to graduate. I missed the graduation parade on Queen Street and dragged my mom with me from the university to Aotea Square and to the Graduate Dress Hire place near the ASB tennis court where I was fortunate enough to secure the appropriate regalia with more than ample time before my ceremony. My mother fell sick shortly after but she was ever so supportive and was present in a pretty purple dress to watch me receive my scroll. It was definitely a proud moment for her to watch me go up there to receive a certificate that she had worked almost all her life to pay for and a prouder moment for me to prove that all that money, sweat and tears was well spent. But more than anything, it was a day that will forever be engraved in my mind because of all the people who came to celebrate it with me, because of the sheer panic in the morning that was followed by relief, pride and joy after and ultimately because I was with the people I loved in a city that I had grown to love and one that eventually helped me find love.

I will let these photos speak for themselves but I can honestly say that I have never seen a wider smile plastered on my face before.

me and the gorgeous fluffy pink hood signifying a Bachelor of Arts degree qualification.

in front of the business building where I spent many days and some nights all in the name of getting my degree.

some of the lovely people that came to take a picture with me. Uni would have been so dull without the people who made my days lively.

with my gorgeous mother who dons the same adoring smile on her face that I have on mine.

The entire family excluding sis who had to stay back in Melbourne due to uni obligations. Truly the happiest day of my life.

I also proudly celebrated Akash's graduation day with him while we were in Auckland.

Blue - the colour of his hood - signifies a Bachelor of Science qualification. I was only too proud being his photographer, running around taking pictures of him and all his friends on HIS day. Save to say, my boyfriend is definitely more popular than I am. Shucks!

As much as I wanted to stay with Akash for a while in Auckland, my mom, aunt and I dashed off to Queenstown soon after. And boy was I glad I went. Queenstown has some of the most amazing views in the world. Or at least in those parts of the world in which I've travelled to so far. The water is amazingly clear and the hills that encompass the lake makes the view even more interesting compared to any other location. I enjoyed strolling through the scenic parks and felt time slowing down right before my very eyes. It slowed down to the point that sometimes I (and my mother) found it hard to deal with. Especially in an uber small town like Queenstown.

Some of the popular destinations we visited were Aoraki Mount Cook and Milford Sound. Seen up here, even the damp weather failed to dampen our mood but it would really have helped if the rain cleared up a bit so that our view of the mountain was not as impeded.

We took the cable cars to the look out point in Queenstown. Felt like we were swimming amidst the clouds. And we managed to get many pretty pictures. I've uploaded a lot more pictures on Facebook if you're interested. :)

And finally, just like everywhere else, food in Queenstown is just as awesome. If you're headed down that way, I'd totally recommend the burger place right across the road from Base backpackers, the name has completely slipped my mind at the moment. And also for yummylicious desserts like the churros pictured above, one word : Patagonia!!! The churros were warm and served with warm chocolate/caramel. Perfect on a cold winters day. And tastes even better when it's shared :D

Heading back home after such an amazing holiday was both a relief and a let down. We used to joke about having a holiday from the holiday when we were there and boy did we actually need one. But at the same time, thinking about having to apply for jobs and being stuck in a daily routine of waking up and bumming around dampened my mood to head home. Plus, I was in a dilemma of my own on whether or not to work in malaysia or abroad.

Little did I know that I was headed to Perth just a few weeks after I returned to Malaysia. And much to my satisfaction as well. A romantic getaway with Akash was what I felt like I really needed and if Perth was a place that he was thinking about settling in, then I definitely felt like I had to scan the waters a little just to make sure that I could live there and make ends meet.

I found Perth to be a wonderful city despite all that is said of it. It's definitely not as buzzy as Melbourne but neither is it as laid back as Auckland. Which leaves it at.... perfection. With it's fair share of buildings in the CBD and scenic parks to feed my hunger for morning/evening walks, I deem Perth to be a wonderful place to settle down in.

Take at Rottnest Island where the sky was clear blue and the sun shone brightly. Akash and I explored the island on bicycles. Seriously, I never thought I had it in me to cycle up and down those strolling hills but we had a good work out and slept peacefully during the nights.

Clear blue waters at Parker Point. Definitely rewarding after a cycling marathon.

Being with my man again. Every moment was bliss particularly because those moments don't come easy. To my surprise, this trip was unlike any other trip where we talked senselessly about annoying the heck out of each other and playing house. This trip saw us talking seriously about future prospects. One conversation in particular struck me. The one where we sat in the blistering cold in front of the beach with it's waves rolling in, I heard him talk about all the dreams that he had in mind, for him, for his family and for us. And for the first time I felt so sure that I wanted to be a part of something. I love how we have both grown in this relationship and how we keep growing everyday.

Of course I didn't miss out on meeting up with this sexy miss while I was there. Feels just the same when I'm around her. Two years down the road and we still have a lot in common.

Had breakfast with Hoss by the lake where I had the best fruit toast ever. I love little eateries with sceneries. In fact, I'd like to open one if my finances allow it in the future.

All in all Perth was a balanced package in terms of everything. I returned with a heavy heart but also with excitement of where life would lead me in the future. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I never wanted to sit in a plane again any time soon.... Out.

Where Rainbows End

2011-04-15T23:27:00.001-07:00

Where do rainbows end? And is there really a pot of gold where the reflection of colours dissolves into transparency? What if a rainbow came a full circle and joint itself at it's ends? I know science wouldn't make that a plausible thought but hey, we human beings once thought the earth was flat didn't we?

I am three weeks past the end of my internship. And a week away from what I'd like to think of as a beautiful vacation in Melbourne and New Zealand. And on top of my delightful palate, I have a tonne of other things to do. Like my visa to apply for. A JOB to look for. A graduation pending. A new home to look for. I wish I had a time machine. So I could travel into the future and see what it has in store for me. Maybe that will help me save so much more time.

My trip to the New Zealand embassy in Singapore last week made me realize how I had once again left everything to the last moment. It would take ten working days to apply for a graduate job search visa. And I already had less than ten days during that point in time to provide proof as well as all the documentation required. A conversation with a friend who applied for her graduate job search visa in NZ a few days ago again opened my eyes to how applying for the visa overseas was no easy feat. It would require medical checks, police checks and ultimately a flight to Wellington combined with two weeks of wait time. Clearly I was not prepared for all this and after more discussion with mum, we decided that it would be better for me to head back to Malaysia and apply for the visa here and then fly back again to New Zealand. How could I have let contempt get the better of me. People keep telling me that I'm young and there is much room for exploration, so why do I feel like everyday that I spend doing nothing and discovering something more is time wasted??

Which leads me back to the rainbow. There's something calming and miraculous about them. Whenever I see one my heart leaps out and I have to prevent myself from exclaiming in enthusiasm "look! rainbow!". Sometimes I go all paparazzi on them and belt out my camera in a snapping fury. I think I just need to take a chill pill about life a little bit. Live it on a rainbow pace. For me it's always been BAM kindergarten BAM primary school BAM high school BAM A Levels BAM university BAM internship and now it's BAM JOB JOB JOB. The only thing about this BAM is that I finally get to choose. Of course I got to choose my internship and which uni I wanted to go to and the like but this BAM is a massive one. Because this decision is so much more daunting. It makes me question the things that I want a hundred times a day and in the speed of a million times per second (exaggeration). And I try to keep going with my gut but try as I may, my gut - it aint that helpful coz I fail to feel anything. Which makes me want to lash out and go on more holidays and discover a temple and look for jobs in three different places simultaneously.

As aforementioned, I made a short trip to Singapore to see Akash recently. It wasn't really short, five days, but it felt like time just whipped by (like it always does). Still. These five days was a serious eye opener in terms of the sort of development that Singapore had undergone in just a matter of a few years. There were more museams, entertainment parks, hotels, and as usual the central business district was a picture of awe.

Taken at Universal Studios. Outside the awesomest chocolate/candy shop everrrr.

I think he looks absolutely adorable in this picture.

The amazing board walk from Sentosa Island which extends to VivoCity at the Harbourfront. I loved everything about this walk. But that's just me. I love to walk...

Breath taking architecture.

Need I say more?

Other good places to check out would be Marina Bay Sands. It comes complete with mall, museum, hotel (with a rather interesting skypark) and casino. A tonne of architecture to look at. We found it very interesting.

I suppose the best part of the trip was being with Akash again. I really think that a long distance relationship doesn't have to be so bad... It actually made this trip feel like the beginning of days all over again. And besides, after having not been with that special someone for a long period of time, you tend to appreciate them so much more when you're together again. This picture was taken on the highest point in Singapore - Marina Bay Sands, Skypark...

Also got to meet up with my LV work mates again on Friday for the annual dinner which they were so kind to invite me to :D It was at Fraser's Place on Jalan Perak in KL and the theme was seventies. Which explains the next photo feed....

I love these people for how crazy they are. Everyone was so sporting, donning the most amazing seventies looks. I felt like I fitted nowhere in with my failed attempt to follow the theme. Everything was pretty seventies, from the music to the performances put together by the team and needless to say, the entire scene.

And I thought the food was really yum as well. Best prawns I've had in a longggggg time. Nothing like a free dinner. They also had these colourful drinks. God alone knows how much I consumed throughout the night. Had heaps of fun. Thanks LV!!

The conclusion

2011-04-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

Just had to get one with the trunks. My thighs look ginormous. I know. :/

It was my last day interning at LV today and I simply have to blog about it because I'm still reeling from the sense of fulfillment that the day bestowed upon me. It started off with me expecting not very much. Last day. Just do the deed and let it be. Plus I was watching over the new intern, Simone, who was to replace me when my stint ended. But what started off as a normal day turned out to be spectacular in tiny little ways that leaves me at a loss for words as to why they resulted in such elation in the first place.

I received an e mail from the regional coordinator in HK commending me on a job well done in terms of smooth flow of press samples to and from Malaysia. My boss gave me a little pep talk and she had very few negative things to say which somehow instilled a subtle yet empowering enough sense of confidence within me. And some of my colleagues took me out for lunch as a farewell. Having been just a simpleton in the office who strove to complete my tasks and ensure that with every passing day, I learnt a little bit more about the working world, I was really taken aback by the attention I received. Overjoyed that my work did not go unrecognized. Elated that despite my attempt to sometimes be personal and less open, people will be missing me and missing my quality of work. Ecstatic that I was in the presence of so many fabulous people who had inspired me and paved a way for me to venture out in the open.

What was even more fulfilling was that days before my internship ended, I felt like I finally got my biggest break within the company. On a whim, my boss decided to ask me and Simone to write a cover letter about two different launches by Vuitton. Simone was off to training so I tried incorporating my ideas and coming up with a piece which was not the hardest task for me because I am the sort of person who is seriously passionate about being inspired and writing about anything in the world when I really am. But I took it seriously enough and my boss was impressed with what I had to offer. Some minor editing and my contribution was sent out to the majority of the Malaysian press. It's probably a tiny little achievement but for this I am ever so grateful. So overjoyed that my piece was worth distributing that I can feel my heart thumping in excitement as I type away now.

I suppose being afraid of the future is normal. Uncertainty can breed fear and fear may cloud your judgement and abstain you from truly reaching your potential. But it's moments like these. Moments where your confidence feels like it's on a booster pill that makes the future seem a little more secure. I will bask in this moment as long as it lasts. Thank you God for the wonders that you do!

Pictured here with some of my much loved colleagues, Mia and Judy.

At Madam Kwans for lunch. My lovely boss, Jasmine sits across the three of us.

With everyone! Have to admit that this is not the best picture of me :(

With Simone and Mia, taking in the sunshine.

Now that I've ended, I can safely say that LV is so much more than the just glitz and glamour. It's about the hard work that goes into achieving all that prestige. And with such a solid team backing it up, it's no wonder such excellence ensues from the brand. I have been truly priviledged.

That said, my boy is not doing so bad for himself in Perth either. It's official that he has got a job which pays all too well and lavishes him with all sorts of food and facilities that I wish I could have for myself. BHP Biliton must be one fantastic company for the way it treats it's employees.

Also, on another more personal note, I got to know a friend more intimately today and the conversations that we have sometimes amuse me. Perplexing and emotional, I cannot piece together for sure what I know and all that I don't. But it is this perplexity and curiosity that makes me really care and invest genuine concern. Everyday is another puzzle put together. I cannot wait for tomorrow.

Honesty. Best policy?

2011-03-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

"there's no place for truth in the working world". Such simple words got me thinking today about the truth that really stemmed from what was lamented in the spur of the moment. If this was really the case, I suppose that I really am much too naive for a world filled with lying possums. And then I thought some more, and I suppose what made sense was that the working involved lots of complicated manipulations of the truth. Twists of words and the rolls of tongues. And here I was thinking that you can never go wrong with honesty. Everyday I learn a little bit more and life becomes less of a fairy tale. At this rate, I wonder if there will be any glitter left when I am old and part of my grand childrens' very own fairy tale-d lives.

And while I'm scouring at the edge of the 'grand children' topic, I wonder if I will actually live to that age at all.. Look what happened to Tokyo, Japan. And before that what had happened to Christchurch and the other mother nature protests that erupted in Australia even before the Christchurch earth quake. I have to admit that I am no newspaper queen. I only read the weekend STAR and even then I conveniently miss out on sections that do not interest me. But you have to be actually non existent to not know about what's happening with the world these days. Word of mouth delivers the goods. And I felt a pang of fear as I saw how the now infamous tsunami tide in Japan swept along the coast and wasted away everything that lay in it's way. It's times like these that I am grateful to be in Malaysia. But even so I stumbled upon an article in the news stating that a quake in Indonesia could agitate Malaysian parameters and then we may suffer similar faith. It all comes down to uncertainty. It pains me to think that if we were in a similar situation what kind of consequences we would suffer in contrast to the Japanese. I respect the Japanese for their tolerance and I know if one nation could stoop and build itself up from scratch, Japan would be first on the list.

Disasters aside, I will be ending my stint at Louis Vuitton soon. 3 months in a reputable organization and I managed to land more than what I had bargained for. No. Free bags were/are not on the list. No price tag can be put on what I have gained from the experience. And I can only be too honest when I say this. I could go on and on about my loves and hates for certain things but everyone is entitled to an opinion. My only regret is perhaps not opening up a little more to my colleagues. I am convinced that, just like an oblivion to my full name, no one really knows me for me. And perhaps if I added a bit more personality to the role, I would have had an even better experience. But I suppose that's just me. It takes time for me to open up and show my very own true colors to certain people. Regardless, LV opened me up to many new, exciting and challenging ventures that I naturally would have never stumbled across.

All I can say now is bring on April. I am excited for april. For graduation. For the trip to Melbourne and then to Auckland. And to finally embrace my guy in a big hug again. And to see my best friend who will be heading back from the US again. The future holds much promise and much uncertainty.

I have not been engaging in many creative things of late. But just to whet your appetite:-

I have been having major hair withdrawal symptoms. Get it straightened or leave it to curl? At the moment, with it being half straight, half curly, maintenance has sky rocketed to impossible levels. But I still remember the days when I used to have the wavy hair that I was born with and how sexy it used to feel a day after a wash. Of course that only lasted every second day of a wash. Which makes me want to just straighten the entire mane again.

I have been eating outside way too much. And my miniscule pay check has no chance of coping with this. Let's just say whenever I pay a visit to the ATM I go bonkers trying to figure out where stashes of money has gone.....

I've been reconnecting with good friends. Which also contributes to my dining outside habits. But what's the harm in exploration and who better to do it with...

I had to put in super human effort to wake up in the morning and make these. Being around mumsy is really not inspiring me to cook at all just coz she's awesome at it. But I know that the Martha Stewart in me is waiting to be unleashed which is why I feel it's best for me to venture away from home to realize my true potential (especially when it comes to cooking).

Lastly before I leave, I'd like to dedicate this post to the young lady who my mother met in Stamford College today. After hearing my mom speak delightfully about how you follow my blog and all the extraordinarily ordinary things that makes life worth writing about, I think you made me rediscover my love for blogging. Truly inspirational. Thank you!

Gravitating.

2011-02-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

I was transported by an armored vehicle with three armored personnel to a shoot location in Damansara today. I thought the entire thing was made too much of a commotion of even though the task at hand was pretty non complex. But I was carrying thousands of dollars worth of precious jewellery. And it was company policy to be escorted with such care if someone was carrying that much worth to a shoot. Anyhoo, as soon I stepped into the shoot, I was greeted by a very chatty crowd which was pretty refreshing to be quite honest. Sometimes when you're an intern, people start treating you like one and I am glad that this was one group that came across as pretty real to me, not some flashy mob on their high and mighty horse. *Makes mental note to seek professional position at The Peak*

The big bosses daughter was the head photographer me thinks. I judge from observation. What struck me the most was how she ruled the room with her loud personality just like her mother did at the office. And yet how different this little minx of a lady was in comparison to her mother. For one, she seemed completely disinterested in everything that LV cherished. And she did not even try to hide it which I thought was really impressive by the way. Tattoos donned on her torso, ciggie in hand and a spunky haircut to boot I could tell that this little missy swore she would never turn into her mother from the very day she was born. I swear she almost tumbled in laughter when I told her that I had arrived in an armored car with three armed security personnel.

Funny how people either really try and emulate their parents. Or try to be someone completely different.

The days are passing by so fast! What the hell. It's almost March for goodness sake. Perhaps it is a good thing because the year of the rabbit is apparently not the best for the rabbit born. But at times I feel like my youth is being snatched away from me. Soon I will be walking around with a tongkat wondering to myself where the hell all that time went.

It's really not that I don't feel like I am achieving much everyday. Just today I learnt what the 'bcc' column in your email allows you to do. Yes. I never knew. Believe it or not. And my lovely boss gave me my very own big break today, which is coincidently small in the life of any other but significant in the life of an intern. I would explain it here but as it is, people don't really get the physics of my job, so explaining a big break that would bring chemistry into the picture will not really settle well. I don't really know what I am talking about so I will stop bickering about this. So back to point one, I think my achievements range from large to miniscule everyday. But I hold on to the believe that you only actually live when you are completely oblivious to the passing of time. Completely unaware if it's fast or slow. And these days, I am constantly aware. Because I am constantly looking forward for different phases of my life to begin.

I don't even know what to do once my internship at Louis Vuitton has timed out. One month to go. Should I decide to work in Auckland? Should I just reside here for a couple more months and accompany my mother? I guess the bigger question is will the opportunities come flowing or would I be overcome by hardship. It's a tough life. And if it were any easier I would have lost interest a long time ago.

Now on to more important matters. I feel like getting a tattoo

One like this (with different detailing/designs) Somewhere on the shoulder. But the only thing that's stopping me is the question of pain.

And I'm also at that weird point in life where I feel like experimenting with a thousand different hairstyles. Not this one though. I still have my brain in the right position.

Aaaannnddd.. I also want to achieve an inner zen. To breathe rhythmically and relax with the sound of waves.

To end. Ohm....

2011-02-18T05:57:00.000-08:00

I don't like this inconsistency. But I have learnt that sometimes inconsistency may be a good thing. Like how some singer comes up with a really popular hit once and then takes a few years to come up with another really popular hit. Celebrities consistently breaking the rules is boring. Another thing that is so yesterday is me consistently trying to come up with reasons why I blog so inconsistently.

Oh well. Consistent or inconsistent. My last few months have been pretty interesting.

This photo brings forth bubbling nostalgic feelings.

I think the only realization that would cause feelings of denial towards growing older is the drifting apart part of life. My friends are now all over the place. And as much as I love the idea of having someone to have tea with when I'm in Paris (yea right!) or a shopping partner in Melbourne (pfffft!) OR a tour guide in Rome (eerrrr...), I also like the idea of having BIG*HUGE*GIGANTIC*GARGANTUAN catch up sessions where everyone is in a jovial mood and completely at ease talking about the things that least matter in life but are seemingly most important at that point in time. Point is, I like having my close friends nearby, and now everyone is distributed like marbles let lose from a bottle, all living their own strange little lives while I have to resort to figuring out my own odd one.

This photo brings forth more nostalgic feelings.

Two years passed without the presence of this petite missy in my life. Somehow, being in Auckland change a little when she left after my first year. Yet seeing her on my 23rd birthday made me realize that people change, but true friends will always share the familiar things that brought them together in the first place. I wish Joanna was in town for longer, coz then I would have felt like we really stretched our time together to make up for those last two years. But her not being here gives me another excuse to earn money for a massive holiday splurge. Perth. Here I come. Someday.

I've learnt to respect anyone who is able to stay in a committed long distance relationship. For me difficult is an understatement when the other is not around physically. But perhaps that only applies to me because I am certainly not the most patient person in the world. Nevertheless, I guess I have learnt to accept that people get into relationships for so many different reasons. And if I am in this one for all the right reasons, just a bit of distance is not going to be a determining factor as to how the future carves itself. Interestingly, I find that this very distance will galvanize us for more challenging times. And yet. Let's be real about it. I miss this boy everyday of my life. And commands that he concedes and decides to stay with me in Malaysia. At least until I decide on the next destination in my life.

I have been travelling. well. not really. but somewhat. Road trip to Malacca is my idea of travelling. It was a good trip. Coz it involved ALOT of walking. Getting lost. And eating. An adventure in itself. And I had the best company ever. Apart from that, I also did make my way up to Gentings when Akash came to town. I'm trying to make it a point to venture into new areas. Maybe have my own weekend adventures. But I will keep you posted. Coz adventures involve money. And money involves a job that does not spell I-N-T-E-R-N-S-H-I-P.

And speaking of internships. Work at LV is the most rewarding experience ever. Because everyday, when i go to work, I feel like I am on the brink of being pushed over an edge. And everyday I come out alive. It's the survival that immerses me in euphoria as soon as the clock strikes 6 (or sometimes 7/7.30). Bottom line my internship gets me out there. And no, I don't get perks or free bags. I just get to work with an awesome team and along side what may be some of the most demanding people I have ever known.

Goodbye world. Sleepy time.

Lucky. Or not?

2010-12-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

Dear people who still read my blog. Fact is. I have been blogging in absentia. In my head. My head goes furious with thoughts but my fingers sometimes refuses to budge. I think starting work has actually exercised my fingers. Made it wiggle a bit if you will. So every time my thoughts go furious from now on I will blog. For the sake of my love for writing. Which I once claimed to have. I believe I am not fit for the title of a lovely writer any more. I've grown lazy.

On to more recent happenings. If you haven't already heard, I am now interning with Louis Vuitton. Every morning, I am propelled (literally) by a throng of people in some nook of an LRT which transports me right smack in the middle of KL - KLCC. And from there I take a nice long refreshing (zero sarcasm here) walk to Pavilion and from there I cross over to the dainty Starhill building, which feels like a floating heaven compared to the ferocious bustling streets surrounding it.

Ah. This is it. Pretty no?

Adorable glowing dome? Let me stop you there. Before I started interning with LV in the public relations department, I had never set foot into an LV store in my entire life. Neither did I know much about the brand. There was just something about the guards that stood at the entrance and my mediocre financial situation that scared me away from even the thought of exploring what was within. At present, I have still never set foot into an LV store (although that might change soon), but I certainly know SO much more about a brand I have learnt to respect.

It's been two weeks. And in the span of two weeks, I feel like I have endured so much already. My colleagues are incredible. Respectable for their status and yet very humble. Especially my boss who exudes class and appears to be the perfect role model. My fellow intern who is present at the moment to hand over her job to me is a girl with such a positive attitude that upon meeting her I was afraid that what I had to contribute wouldn't have been able to measure up to what she had contributed to the company during her tenure there. The environment seems like the perfect working environment.

With all that said, you would think I am at a pretty awesome position in life right now yes? Thing about me is, I can never be too grateful. I always believe that something petty is about to rain on my parade. Something waiting to jump out at me and go "BOOYAH" which leaves me in a disconnected, discontented position. I hate to admit it but sometimes negativity takes over my mentality. I'm always thinking about the things that could go wrong instead of things that can actually go right or went right.

Fact is. There are a lot of things that went right with work. Some things that went wrong. But I think the best thing yet was my decision to work. Coz, for once, and let me be positive this time, I feel like this job will actually help me grow. Coz as it is, it has made me venture beyond my comfort zone. It made me, somewhat, quit acting like a prima donna and resort to public transport. It's shown me that just by starting somewhere, anywhere, some very spectacular things can be achieved. It's made me pride myself that such great responsibility has been thrust upon my shoulders. It has shown me that sometimes you just need to enjoy your own company rather than that of any other.

Yes. The much harder, greater challenges have yet to come knocking. But just as what the year of the Golden Rabbit has in store for me - a year full of challenges, all I can do now, ready or not, is to be prepared to take a year of challenges, discoveries and revelations by the horns. If anything at all, at least I can be rest assured that by the end of the year I will emerge a stronger person than the one that mirrors me at the moment. This job is perhaps only the first step.

As 2011 begins to unveil itself, I can safely say, that unlike any other year, this year I only have ONE resolution.

patience - to watch and wait and learn.

Til next time....

Joy

2010-09-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Joy.

The joy of having good friends.

Naina's 21st in her mansion-like house. Theme: the roaring twenties.

The Joy of dance.

The UMSA crew at the AMS Dinner. Ladies in the sarees and I were involved in the traditional indian dance from Devdas and those clad in black did the Sumazau dance.

The joy of being Indian.

wearing the Gujju style saree. Tied so effortlessly by Kuha and thanks to Shanika for the saree itself.....

If only I had the joy of time as well but I have so much to do!!! Will be relieved as soon as the coming week is over.

My mom wrote the greatest article of all time about God in the newspapers. Simple yet so much truth and I couldn't have agreed more with what she had to say. I guess I'm proud to be my mother's daughter. Another source of JOY. the heaven's are singing on me! Here's the link : mom's the best :)

The gift of time

2010-09-07T00:42:00.000-07:00

Ah. Finally. Some blogging time that does not feel too rushed. Submitted my second 3000 word essay yesterday. Feels like a whole burden has lifted off my shoulders. My essay was on obesity from a critical psychology perspective. Where statistics alone didn't matter. All that reading made me stop and look at the other side of the underlying causes of obesity. Ah well. Enough about that. Soon another burden will fall on my shoulders. Yet another 3000 word essay on Alzheimers is due when uni resumes in only a matter of days. As much as I hate writing academic essays, I think this semester somewhat culminated a change. They say practice makes perfect. I'm nowhere near perfect but neither do I squander around cluelessly for sources any longer.

What have I been doing for the break you might ask? Throughout the first week it was a battle between catching up on sleep, recuperating post UMSA ball and disciplining myself to sit down and do the damn essay already! But this week it's been more of a daze. Most of the time I feel my mind drifting away, thinking about a holiday, thinking about a future, thinking about everything apart from uni. And I let it drift. It's perhaps the only time it's appropriate to let your mind drift in the haste of everything.

I think Akash and i have assumed a couple friendship sorta thing with Charles and Chandni. They say couples tend to hang out with couples. I've always thought this wasn't true until I started realizing the comfortable feeling that creeped in ever since we started hanging out with this cute couple:

they is awesome!! such a born "there" but bred "here" couple.

This was at Denny's last weekend where the food was so-so, the service was the crappiest of all time crappiness but the dessert was heavenly!!

warm chocolate fudge over ice cream sandwiched between moist chocolate cake. All four of us shared this delightful concoction.

We went to the casino after coz according to my feng shui, which Akash thinks is total crap and my mother follows religiously, claimed that I had gambling luck this month. Well, perhaps I did, coz we did end up winning ten dollars from Lotto. But I think the entire idea of astrology working at all is on the precondition that you do not become a greedy pig while interpreting it. So there we were gambling the ten dollars that we had won on Russian Roulette, and just as easy as we had won the money, it was lost again. Just like that.

A view from way up above. Gotta say, it felt a bit intimidating sitting next to the affluent (or perhaps not...) and betting a ten dollar note while everyone else possibly had hundreds on the table....

I think I've discovered a new love for dance within me. I am perhaps THE slowest learner of all time. But lately, with Matt's help and with the UMSA Ball and now with this AMS performance thing coming up, I've begun to catch a rhythm I never knew I had. Which is good really. We're performing this Indian dance from Devdas for the Auckland Malaysian Society Night. I think Kuha's really talented, the way she choreographed the dance moves. It's easy to pick up and yet looks complicated enough to pass off as impressive.

It's weird how my body seems to know the right time to have certain cravings for things that are in season. For instance, as of now, I'm having the meanest craving for lotus paste mooncake. I don't think it's the mooncake itself. I think it's also got to do with the nostalgic feeling I get while eating mooncake since I was a little kid. Red bean paste was my favorite then and I recall mumsy cutting the entire thing up into tiny pieces and giving me three each time. I also recall how I used to eat the edges first and then the sweet filling. Ah so nice.

my lotus paste mooncake! I waaaannnnnnt! It's so exxy here in Auckland. Like crazy rip off!

Eleven months. Me. My baby pie. And the world.

And finally. Where do we go from here? There's so much that I've not thought about. A future that I'm scared to be in without you. I know this may sound cheesy to everyone else who's reading this. But I cannot be more honest. Eleven months. And there's been more than a couple of bumps in the road. More ugliness than I would've predicted. Yet, I don't think I would change any part of it. Coz it took me eleven months to realize that throughout it all, I've found a bestfriend, a boyfriend, someone I trust, who puts all the rest to shame, who stands by me during my lowest and sticks by me in all annoyance. I love you heaps Akash Jani. More everyday. For the grandfathe- like front that you sometimes put on and the little kid who's really within you. LOL. Mwahhhhh!

Breaking free

2010-08-31T04:27:00.000-07:00

Some ball pictures that I sneaked in... others are up on Facebook....

UMSA committee 2010. The lovely people.

with some of the committee members...

with the cool peeps at my table. Such sporting people, none of them were UMSA members, all just came to support me... missing from this snap was Nathan and Wei-Yuen who left earlier.

Akash came as my pilot that day =D

Me and the Fire dance girls. Jie Huei choreographed the dance as our ball opening act....

I spoke the truth to someone I love today. It doesn't matter what the truth is or the consequences. The liberating feeling is all that matters. That you no longer carry the burden of the silly awkwardness that lingers situation after situation, time after time.

I notice with time that I keep discovering all the things that I don't want in life. Why is it then that it's so hard to discover the things that I actually do want? Do I have to slash out all the options on my list until one prominent one prevails?

I feel like I'm in desperate need of close girl friends. I need that sort of an intimacy right now.

I wish I had more inspiration to write yet another 2 3000 worded essays this break. I feel robbed off my break. What's the point when there're irritating thoughts of assignments lurking within the mind?

The ball just passed. And after all those practices and dances and planning, there's an anti climatic feel in the air. The ball went superb, perhaps the most successful one thus far so why this feeling?

I miss something. But I don't know what that is right now. I can't pinpoint. I just know I miss it.

I feel like breaking free. Sitting under a coconut tree in the warm sun and zoning out would be ideal. Getting away.

I feel like I could try harder. But I just couldn't be bothered right now.

New

2010-08-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

I feel New. For some reason. Weird.

I have an Economics assignment due today. For the first time I feel like it was all my effort and not that of the study group that I am in.

The ball is tomorrow! TOMORROW!! Everything that we've been working towards ends tomorrow. Happy? Sad? What am I supposed to feel for this, potentially, last ball ever? The only ball that I will be attending with an official date. The only ball that I'm obligated to dance/sing/act for all three at once. All the practices that made my calves hurt. The dance moves that I never thought I could pick up, picked up. A ball dress size I never thought I could fit, fitted. A table I never thought I could fill, filled. Akash is hiring a pilot outifit. LOL. Cute!! Tomorrow better be a day worth of all its frustrations.

I can't wait for the break. The ball will be like an opening ceremony to it.

I don't know if I should go back to gyming like how I used to. It's so weird how I've stopped (Well, not totally, i go every now and then), and people are telling me that I'm losing weight. I've always been skeptical about weight loss when it comes to me. But perhaps I have, not too drastically. And this is on top of the fact that Akash feeds me chocolates, heaps. I think it's perhaps coz I'm more tuned to my hunger now. I can actually tell when I'm really hungry and when I'm just craving for something for the fun of it.

I love all these little loopholes. <3. I hate how this is potentially my last semester in uni. I love how it's getting to spring.

ps: my house mate gave me chocolate body paint. =D

signing off

I Miss.....

2010-07-21T04:01:00.001-07:00

I should get rambling before I become way to busy to blog again. Sprawled on my to-do list is already a good number of things to do. The semester started this week. Three days into it and I've not done much apart from catching up with old friends and trying to get my enrolment settled. Thankfully, I am feeling ALOT better from perhaps a month ago. I recognize the familiar zest for life that I used to possess. Maybe it's just a hint of what the full blown zest is on normal levels, but even hints are a blessing at this point.

I'm enrolled in neuroscience, gender pyschology, public economics and international business as a gen ed paper this semester. Am finding gender psych particularly interesting coz of it's content and public economics interesting coz of the lecturer. Still a little iffy about neuroscience coz it contains a lot of neuroimaging and neurodegenerative disease content and it's apparently a very mentally taxing paper but I am pretty positive that I will do moderately well in that paper. And international business seems a little dry to me, sadly, so i might switch to physics as a gen ed. Ah well, time will tell.

On to more interesting stuff. I rediscovered my love for some things during the winter break. Things that I lost touch with when everything seemed hectic and rushed and when I was seemingly in a frenzy of worries and deadlines. It really is weird how the simplest things that are familiar can make you feel like a whole different person. Sometimes I think I don't know myself well enough, my limitations, strengths, how to make the burdens of a hundred acres lift off my shoulders. Mine is a life of constantly underestimating my strengths, overestimating my limitations and ignoring the little things that bring a smile to my face. I think I owe it to myself sometimes to take some time off and rediscover the world and myself in a different light. And thankfully I have many good friends to do it with and mummy and Akash to constantly remind me to see my glass as half full instead of half empty.

Took me the whole of the first semester to realize that the number of hours I spent with Melitta this year was miniscule compared to last year. And that was something I missed dearly and did not realize in the haste of many things. I miss having girly gossips with a good girlfriend. Talking for ages about other people and how they were with this person or that person and what happened there and with who and how. Cooking together. Wedging ourselves infront of the tv together. I miss all that. It seems like this year I conveniently left all that out to compensate for other things. Where I used to have Leeza, Joanna, Cassie, Melitta, this year I was deprived. But a plan will be executed now that this realization has settled in. I'm all set for zumba with Melzers and Kailas every Fridays and Saturdays and that'll settle my appetite for a girly rush hopefully.

I miss taking pictures like these. Moments when you feel you just have to stop to capture the scene that lies before you, well in this case, above you.

I miss having soy hot chocolate at Starbucks where the atmosphere is sombre and you feel like one of those elite people. And yes, no matter how much I enunciate and spell out my name to the baristas, it always ends up as 'Demi'....

I miss long walks in the blithering cold at the Viaduct harbour.

I miss the satisfaction that comes with baking. A hunger that I think I have satisfied well throughout the break.

I miss walking in someone else's pants. Not literally. But this picture is the real deal. Those are Akash's pants.. LOL.

And finally, I miss receiving chocolates as gifts. Joy. Unraveling the pretty wrappers and having soft chocolate cascade over my tongue. Utter joy.

Akash takes over

2010-07-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

This blog needs some love, especially from the guy that this girl loves the most. I can see that she does not blog that often but then i say its my fault too because i steal all her blogging time. I do not blog that much because i dont know what to write and yea i have ran out of words. So meh!
adios for now! i shall return with some good stories soon to bring this blog back in business!
PEaCe

After long....

2010-07-06T13:19:00.001-07:00

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow......

neglected. one way to describe this blog of mine within all the 'tomorrows'. I think the reason I have been putting off writing is coz confrontation is scary. Blogging is a face off with reality. Makes you think about what happens in your days and months before you leave your little notes down for people to read and perhaps judge (or perhaps not)... The last few months have been pretty scary for me. Scary to the point that I felt like all four walls were caving down on me, driving me nauseously into a state of depression.. crying seemed more like eating, something i just had to do to get by and eating was more like piecing a jigsaw puzzle together, putting the right ingredients into a mindful ten minutes so that an uncomfortable feeling did not ride up my rectum the next morning.

I have to admit that the days leading up to surgery (performed on the abscess that developed from a cured fissure) was scarier than the surgery itself. Exam stress exacerbated even an inkling of anxiety. I was sitting for my third paper when i found that the curiosity of what might be ate away at my nerves and turned my focus away from studies. Antibiotics were making me tired to walk what more to do anything else. I'm glad that all that has passed right now. What remains is a mild bout of flatulence from the lactulose that I've had to take and a fading throbbing pain in my rectum. I'm not sure if anyone can relate to me at this point. But you don't have to. Just like every other story that we read as kids up until now, we see the characters in tumultuous episode after episode and at the end, when the dust settles, there is a moral, an anecdote if you like. It was pretty easy for me to take things for granted living abroad. When you can only really rely on yourself to take care of yourself and feel and interpret every little pain by yourself.... If you feel something is wrong, go to the doctor. Don't put it off. I was pretty lucky that I was urged to go to one and a further google article just scared the living daylights out of me. But as I was saying, intuition is pretty vital everything else comes second to good health.

Worked for Incredible Science at uni two days ago. I expected to have the most boring time of my life so clearly, I was only in it for the money. But every single aspect of the day took me by surprise... from the awful morning weather to the people and my job. I was assigned to be the photographers assistant throughout the day. Godfrey (the photographer) greeted me cheerfully when we were introduced at the start but I still held the stereotyped that he was yet another middle aged kiwi man who I would have communication problems with several times during the span of the day. Boy was I wrong. Our work chemistry was incredible.... Unlike the other student workers who were destined to usher and open doors or sit at booths, I was given the opportunity to take pictures (even though i wasn't meant to), have coffee and a nice chat with Godfrey and walk around the university and watch almost every other show that was held. I think I even had the better job compared to Akash who was getting paid more for being the packdown manager and student manager overall, technically he was my boss for the day. At the end of the day, and this might seem a little peculiar as it did to me, Godfrey sat me down and he told me that he saw a rather inspirational future for me, where I would stand in front of 500 odd people with a talent, but he said first there would be much despair in my life. He also said that my eyes, were full of love (when i told sukhi this, she said all she saw was smears of eyeliner.... LOL) and it was pretty tell all, but he did guess that Akash and I were a couple... I think I'd remember Godfrey, the devout Christian photographer and the funny conversations we had for a long time.

So now, on to the fun stuff that's been happening this winter break....

1. Celebrated Shani's bday at Monsoon Poon last last Friday. I thought the food was yum and the cake was even yummier but the rest didn't think so. Went clubbing after that at Carpark which i would deem better than most other clubs here...

Shani's bday cake.

Me and the 21year old...

A spontaneous shot that turned out to be everyone's favorite on facebook.. =D

2. I wore a saree for the very first time ever.... this was at Shanika's second 21st bday party which she had at her place. her sister let me use her saree and her mother assisted with tying the saree. Bright blue isn't really my colour, but oh well....

So blue right? this is Gopika's saree...

with akash n naina

3. And finally, I decided that I could do with a new hairstyle yesterday. So i've chopped my tresses and cut a fringe. And surprisingly, I don't seem to miss all that hair....

BAnGS!! there is still a lot to get used to.....

Routine

2010-05-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

I think my study life is eating my social life to crumbs. Thus far, I have missed out on a rugby game with tickets going for cheap (you can't say u've stayed in NZ til you've been to a rugby match), but that was not really all to do with studying either. I've missed out on UMSA day out. I've missed out on drinks and a night out with my housemate and her workmates. Everytime there's a social planned, I frantically search in my head for some sort of excuse to come up with just so I can fit in yet another hour of study. Although it comforts me that what I'm doing is not normative of my attitude when all the studying bits are subtracted from my equation of life, it is still quite unsettling that I do not see some of my friends as much I want to. =(

In the next couple of weeks, I have a International Finance test, two 1000 word reports due and an essay on non normative group behavior due on the same day as my financial economics assignment. I think I've got a plan sussed out. But sometimes plans only remain plans. The difference is, this time I am determined to get it to work.

Even more so unsettling is my dropped affinity for the gym. It's getting boring to do the treadmill routine. And it's a pity that I didn't bring my swimsuit and have not had the time to go get one (honestly, I need to shop. I've not been shopping since i landed in NZ!). The effect? These days I make it to the gym approximately three times a week. Once I get a swimsuit, I will go swim. I've joined the futsal team playing at BERSATU games coz team sports gives me more to look forward to. And if all goes well I will be hitting the uni gym for Zumba classes with Kailas and Melitta this week on wards. A little spicing up in routine is exactly what I need.

Started my mentoring last Friday with two lovely girls at Ponsonby intermediate school. The session was really short but I got to know them on a moderate level. Coincidently, one of the girls' names was Dimi. Imagine that. I've lived my life all this while not knowing another Dimi and then I meet this young girl who I am supposed to mentor and her name is Dimi! I look forward to more mentoring sessions....

I am becoming more and more broke each day, and since I don't shop I honestly wonder where the money is going. I guess it's predominantly rent, social stuff and food that I pay for. Haven't heard from my jobs in yonks. Wonder if the company is even nailing any events. rawr. oh well. 5 minutes out. Need to shower and get set for uni.

Out of Control

2010-05-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes........ a single phone call can make the world seem like a better place.

have you ever felt like you were swivelling out of control?
like no matter how much you tried.....
what you know is in your hands doesn't actually feel like it is anymore..

have you ever felt like you've created a mountain of mess....
and while you can still fix it....
time doesn't permit it.

And when you feel that way,
just one simple talk, one simple call...
one simple chant of hope and believe...
one simple song, sung by one familiar voice...
and one simple laugh that leads to a throng of laughter
makes all your insecurities melt away....
(I hope you've experienced that feeling)

last night wasn't a very good night. Thank you Akash for the pep talk! what would i do without thee... lol...

Five Minute Fun

2010-05-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

My bloggin hiatuses seem to surpass former ones that I had by miles as time goes on. In fact, where I used to be the one to blog almost weekly and maybe even twice a week in the past, I have now become one of those people who envy bloggers who are able to blog twice weekly.

It's the wee hours of the morning in NZ and I've given myself 5 minutes to come up with a post. So without much beating around the bush, I will be informative about what's going on with me here. I'm doing four papers again this time. Three of which make me question myself quite frequently and one which I enjoy to bits. UMSA remains my most time consuming (in a good way) extra curriculur activity. Others that I have taken to is mentoring to add a lil extra bit to my psych degree. And I've joined the UMSA futsal team and will be playing at our BERSATU games this year. The other girls on the team are great and we have heaps of fun together. I am also planning to attend zumba classes at the uni gym with Melitta and Kailas if I manage to pull myself out of bed every saturday morning.

I've not spread the word yet but I recently got a job. A casual events job with one of the more recognized events companies here that pays pretty well. I will be paid more once I am deemed "experienced" but for now I try and take one job per week. Working with Urban is different. It feels like every once a week I transverse into a different world where carrying a tray with flutes is what you simply HAVE to know to get by and knowing the colour of wine is paramount. The people I meet are great!

My five minutes is runnin, I'm gonna end this with a couple of pictures of my home and try and do five minute updates more frequently.

My balcony =D

My room, it's a lil messy with boxes around and all that...

The kitchen area

Shower....

Lounge area =D

And the roses that Akash got meeee =D hehe. I just realized that I forgot the dining area. shucks.

Have a good day!

Transition......

2010-03-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

.....am in the process of yet another one. Just shifted absolutely everything to my new place at Federal Street yesterday. And this place despite it's awesomeness, is in a state of a MASSIVE mess at the moment. Two people are moving out, which means each of their own mess' take yet another corner of the living area. And my mess sits in the middle. Tried to sort as much out as possible so that I don't have to do that Monday morning. I hate it when i need to find something in a hurry and then can't find it at all. And that is not at all impossible with the tornado that just struck mid way. I'm supposedly officially moving from the living room into my room today. Slept on the couch last night but to be honest, it wasn't half as bad as i expected it to be. I'm just a little worried of how bathroom utilization will be a problem in the next four days. Four girls, all vying to get out and about at the same time and with problems of their own...hopefully it's not too much of a feat...

Once Cindy and Shehana move out, I am going to give the bathroom a good scrub down. And the kitchen too! And I'm definitely going to spruce up the room a little more and clean here and there... Thank God the easter break is approaching in high velocity. Else I'd go crazy insane. Uni is getting busy. UMSA is getting busy. I am getting busy. period.

Will update soon with pictures. Think I'm gonna go test out the gym now. =D toodles.

Milestones

2010-03-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

Milestones. Have you ever stopped at a certain point in your life and considered the stuff you've achieved? When i was nineteen I still remember making a list of things that I planned to do before I reached the age of 21. Needless to say, being the mildly risk averse person I am, I could only tick off a few pointers on my to-do list. Subsequently, I came to terms with the reality that I was always a late bloomer. Coming off age. Adapting. Falling in love. All my experiences were right skewed in a bell shaped curve with respect to age. Even when i wake up in the morning, I like to take my time with breakfast and drag myself around in my PJs before rushing out into the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Taking my time has become constrained of late though. With the re opening of uni and yet another semester where I am subjected to intense assignmenting and reading and reading and reading. I could be motivated and taking on everything with zest. And honestly, I wish it were the case. But all that I feel at the moment is lethargy. I feel like a slug trying to crawl out of it's muddy hole. I don't suppose I'm lazy, I think it's just the exhaustion speaking from the lack of rejuvenation after my summer semester.

UMSA activities just came in a string of events this year. First the lantern fest which found me drenched in all the types of food which i cannot imagine eating any time in the near future. And then came membership drive closely followed by the orientation barbeque. That combined with the first week of uni, signing documents to end the search for my apartment and trying to live a moderately healthy lifestyle has left me slightly cramped for my own personal space, not to mention extremely sleep deprived. And still, I find myself craving to have a job and earning to compensate for my own lifestyle.

If so many people out there can cope with everything that's on their plate, why wouldn't I be. Of course I understand that I am me and not those people. But still, I should be able to handle the average level of stress. That leaves me with yet another milestone to achieve. Before I ramble further in yet another pictureless post, I should stop myself.

Many apologies to the friends that I have failed to spend time with in my haste to tick off the things on my never ending to do list. Allow me to come around. I promise i will.

dead.tired.

2010-02-24T02:54:00.000-08:00

I've not blogged in ages. Absolute ages. And I am aware of that. Fully. There's always something else to do. At the moment being in the UMSA executive committee is fully consuming me and my time. We're at the height of Lantern fest prep, our biggest fundraising event for the year and my past couple of days was spent marinating and skewing chicken and making curry puffs. The kind of work that I don't want to be reminded of so I will conveniently "forget" to mention here.

When I'm not helping the team out, you'd normally see me surfing trademe.co.nz for an apartment and busily arranging viewing appointments with different people. Think I've scoured the whole of Auckland for all sorts of apartments and know what the majority of them look like. Anyways, I think I might have actually found my needle in the haystack but I don't want to say anything too early in case I jinx it. Will update once I am finished with this hectic period.

Sponsorship drive was today, had to put on a face as thick as make up would be on a geisha's face and go up to random shops to plead for sponsorship. Felt accomplished after I achieved my target for the day. But I can foresee how much more i have to do for UMSA now that the year has begun and already I feel like lashing out at people like I never did before.

Life thus far has been a learning curve for me. There's just too much to learn. Too many decisions to make. And for a person who becomes impatient and agitated easily, for a person like me, sometimes things seem even more difficult than the actually are. The coping skills of human beings amuse me. Somehow, we learn how to cope, adversity or no adversity. I'm actually excited to see the outcome of all of it. How much more of a competent person it makes me become. And along the way, I'm grateful that it's ok to have fun to fall and to laugh. It's everything along the way that keeps me sane.

write soonish. with pictures. xox.

My 22nd Bday

2010-01-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

I baked. Again. Before leaving Naomi's place. I knew I had to fully utilize my privileges and so i did. This was to relieve myseld off exam stress too considering I did it laaaaate Saturday night after I got sick of studying. It's the first time I've attempted a crumbly topping =) And i used fresh blueberries instead of frozen ones to make these blueberry muffins.

Is it weird that I only take pleasure in seeing them turn out well and then I don't want to have anything to do with them any longer? I bake. I get Naomi to taste it and I taste it with her. We confirm that it tastes heavenly. I gloat. And then I usually wrap them in glad wrap and pack them up in zip lock bags and become santa at uni. I also secretly anticipate the smile and approving nods that comes when people nod in satisfaction when the are savored. waste in resources? not quite. And I won't get to bake for the next two months now that I've moved here anyway. The communal kitchens here suck balls!

It was my birthday on Tuesday. It was also the day of my economics test which I thought went pretty well. =D I didn't let my expectations escalate too much in fear that I would be disappointed but boy was it a spectacular day. All thanks to Akash and to my friends who are in Auckland. From a bouquet of flowers in the morning, to broken slippers mid morning to a surprise party in the park in the afternoon and ice cream at the harbour mid afternoon to dinner at a fine Itallian restaurant at night and a crazy karaoke session to end the night, I loved every part of it! I even got more presents than i thought i'd ever get! Included some pictures here... Sad that I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to. There were elements of surprise and common absent mindedness that came in the way. But I've captured all the moments in my heart so I think that would suffice. The picture is of Akash and me killing time while the others showed up for my surprise party...

After lunch at Valentinos for ice cream...

The gang. Minus Amanpreet who was taking the picture.

Spotted this cruise ship and like jakuns we all started taking pictures infront of it. LOL.

Me and babypie who's t shirt read sex, drugs and sausage rolls.?!?!?

I like this picture of us..

This is what Navleen gave me. =)

The other girls and Naman shared and bought me this! THe card is super cute, it talkssss!!

The inside. I love the smell!

Akash's SUPER SWEET card. It had a number of pages with pictures of us and writing in it....

This was from Naomi, the girl has prolly seen me bake waaaayyy too much. LOL

This was from Jie Huei...

This one was from Syazana. I LOVE the box. but i didn't quite like the assorted chocolate.. LOL.

Akash also gave me new skullcandy headphones. WHich i LOVe!

and finally, the bouquet of flowers that akash greeted me with in the morning. It was in purple wrapping n all that but I took it out and put it in a mug with water... Didn't take a picture of the portable camera that wei-yuen got me.... but yea, it was an awesome dayyyy!!

Happenings

2010-01-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

Feels like ages since I last blogged but summer here has been so amazing that it leaves me with hardly any time to myself at all. And that's just the way I like it. I'm still hunting down a job but it's so hard to find one here. Am thinking of reinventing my CV coz by the looks of it, mine might be a tad dull... We'll see how that one goes. Just the other day I went around distributing job application forms to all the university libraries, from the Davies Law Library to the Fine Arts Library and the Engineering Library and about ten other libraries. Apparently library jobs receive about a couple of hundred applicants a year! Bummer! Searching online is a pain in the rear coz people hardly reply. I guess with job applications, patience is a virtue so let the patience begin.

Apart from that, everything has been smooth sailing. I move out of this lavish Uptown Apartment in a week and into yet another uni residence like place with communal kitchens and communal showers. But i am still going to hunt around to see if i can get a better place. Uni has been fulfilling. Friends have been evolving. A mix of good times and some bad times... All in all, things are pretty much at a good balance right now...

Me, Priya and Shanika while they shopped for Akash's presents last week. I love hanging out with these people coz it's so different from the usual posse of friends that I have. And difference is always a good thing.

Because I, at present, have complete authority over one of the bestest kitchens in Auckland, I have been experimenting with my love for baking even more! I baked these chocolate walnut muffins for Akash's 21st. And they turned out fabulous!!! =)

and while waiting for the muffins to be set i went ahead and made some cookie batter coz i had all these pretty lil sprinkles that i bought. And they turned out even better than the ones i made last year coz these cookies were actually crumbly and crispy all at the same time. perfection!

Had to make another batch of muffins in order for it to be sufficient to spell out 'Happy 21st Birthday Akash'. These were banana date muffins. And they were better than the chocolate walnut ones coz people kept eating these ones =) So proud!!!

Chocolate button toppings!

this was how they looked when it was all done. I think i spent the whole day (and night) in the kitchen! but he was happy with them, and everyone else enjoyed eating them. so all worth it.

at Mission Bay. where Akash wanted to celebrate his bday on a sunny friday afternoon.

had an awesome time there with everyone. N i got sunburnt really badly. To the point that my skin actually hurt. I've never been sunburnt like that before... I now have multiple tones on my skin.

also went for Boon's bday at Long Bay. This beach was awesome! i absolutely loved it!

enjoying the waves at Long Bay with Jie Huei and Jason.

and finally, to end, my favorite picture of me and akash at his bday dinner =)

Back in Auckland....

2010-01-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

It's been exactly a week since I flew back to Auckland today on what I thought was the worst flight in the history of histories! I didn't sleep a wink, watched three movies in exhaustion, gave up one of my inflight meals, chugged desperately on water every moment I could and felt this massive itch in my nether region that I could not scratch. Thankfully that;s over!

Getting settled wasn't easy either. The first few days upon arriving here, there was an overwhelming sense of loneliness. The streets were almost bare, thanks to the stretch of public holidays that kept everyone at home. Felt like I was in some sort of zombie movie, think 'I am Legend' and 'Zombieland'. Everytime Akash left to go to work or to return home, I felt like bawling my eyes out. Thankfully, moments like that have passed as well. Surprising really, how things can improve massively in a couple of days. The picture above showcases the backpackers that I put up in for the first six days of arriving in Auckland. Princeton backpackers. The room was pretty ok but the shower and kitchen were EXTREMELY small! There was something about it though that heightened the sense of loneliness.

This is where I live at the moment. At a lavish little apartment on upper queen street. I wish I didn't have to move out coz this place puts me at ease. Thanks to a chance run into Naomi at summer school, I managed to score this place for a couple of weeks coz Angie, her house mate won't be around til the end of January. Paying a very reasonable price to live here for three weeks coz it's not only close to uni and to the city but also close to the gym I usually frequent. And yes. I have resumed all gym activity. I just go every other day now instead of everyday. But yup. Back to this place. First picture shows the kitchen that Ive always imagined. It actually makes me wanna cook although truth to be told, I;ve not made anything apart from sarnies since I got here... But just imagine! if i had this kitchen all year round, I'd cook up feasts every weekend and invite friends over for lunch! 2nd pic shows the hall which leads to a rather spacious balcony. Only drawback is right outside the balcony is a cemetery, hence all you see are willowy trees and tomb stones. hahahaha. Next two pictures are pictures of my room at the moment. The mess was never there until I came into the picture. And finally, the bathroom. Also one of my dreams. Good water pressure, clean as hell and just perfecto. So I have to truly embrace being here til I shift into Mt Terrace a couple of weeks from now. Sucks that I've already paid the bond. I shouldve continued my search but sheer panic drove me to secure a place FAST. Naomi treats me like a guest in this house although I am a paying tenant. I should be lucky really. She let's me use her stuff and she always asks me if she can prepare food for me and never lets me do any work. MAN. Blessed is what i feel. By the grace of God, people always help me.

That aside. Social life wise...

It kicked off on the first day of my return thanks to Akash. This was at Priya's 20th birthday. Was good fun hanging out with his friends who I can safely say are gradually becoming our friends now. I guess it;s natural to be initially lost with a huge group of people who have so much in common with each other. But now that I see most of them at summer school, I think I am warming up to everyone.... Awesome bunch of people really. They make me feel loved all the time.

Summer school with Yuen has been breezy thus far. I wish we only had to do one subject at uni all the while. Focusing on one thing is far better than having four different things to focus on. And it frees up time to get other things going as well. This chatty lil miss keep is good company. Watched sherlock holmes with her and Nath a few days ago and we've been a unit at uni ever since.

The best gratitude for being back though is having to spend time with my baby pie again. It's like every moment feels more worth it than before. I don't know if it's coz I was away for so long or of it's just coz he's working often now. But despite the emotional roller coasters that the past week has put me through, I try to be as understanding a girlfriend as I can be but there's only so much a girl can do before she misses her boyfriend psychotically. Did i say 'a girl'? I just meant ME. He just had a hair cut in this picture. I like!

before I go, I shall leave you with humour...... pedestrians = madfishians?!??!

Home

2009-12-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

It's been three weeks since I got back. THREE WEEKS!! And it's almost christmas already!! December feels like stealth. Like it never existed on the calendar. Coz I have no idea how time passed by so fast. I feel exhausted. Like as if my body just underwent some rigorous bootcamp. But I do recall spending equally as much time plonked in front of the computer as I did going out and about. I'll sum it up with pictures coz my head is throbbing and my body feels like it should be stretched outwardly in all directions.

Been making sure that I spend time with the family coz after all, it's what I am here for. Have to admit though, it's the best feeling ever to hear chitter chatter in a proper household again. And to eat proper food. To be around people 24/7. Coz when I am in Auckland, the nights can get really lonely with no one around to make empty conversation with after uni. This was taken while we were trying on christmas hats in Amcorp Mall.

Also been spending a good amount of time with Leeza and Reshme, more with Leez coz we're the original BFFs. LOL. Whatever that means. I guess I've just been through so much with Leeza that whenever we're in reachable proximity, there is no stopping us from getting together. Despite that, I think our attempts at planning exciting escapades has been met with futility coz unlike the both of us, no one else seems interested in planning parties and going away on beach holidays and bla bla bla. Sigh.

And there's Ben. The prodigy. Ben is like an exotic animal that you have to catch just in time in order to actually appreciate his beauty (beauty here is a euphemism for the time he spend with you). Any plans made are guaranteed to cascade into a drain. Be warned if you come across such similar species.. A friend who's up for almost anything and who tells the funniest tales but who will disappear from the face of the Earth just when he's convinced you that you'll be seeing him in the near future. That said, Bye Ben! I hope you have happy times in HK and good luck with summer school!

And then there were our ballistic clubbing sessions. Ok wait. It was one session. But one pretty good sessions thanks to Reshme and Harpreet and her kakis. LOL. The Palace is one of them exclusive Bhangra clubs set in the depths of KL. So that was exactly what we did. Bhagra-ed away the entire night. Props to Leeza! LOL.

MPS mini reunion at Strawberry Fields was pretty fun. Got to see the MPS-ians in this picture and did some good catching up. Super cool how everyone has diverged in so many different directions.

Went to Singapore from the 12th to the 15th of december. Four days there was perfect and really tiring coz we had to walk and catch public transport to get from one place to another. But man, the efficiency of public transport there is admirable. No one would need a car to be honest. And Singapore was pretty great overall, just too expensive. To lead such a hectic lifestyle is not ideal for someone like me. Especially after studying in Auckland for two years where everything moves in slow motion.

When I got back from Singapore, I was whisked away by Reshme Nair to Imran Khan's performance at Mist club in Bangsar. She hooked me up with free tickets and I finally got to see who the entire desi world apart from me (but I'm not even desi so guess I don't count) were going crazy over. Was a pretty good night when I finally came to realize how alcohol despite it's bad rep can be quite significant under certain circumstances. Met a lot of people that night. Socialista alert. Oh and someone was wearing the exact same dress as I was! I was so tempted to go up to her and tell her, "hey babe! nice dress" but I controlled myself when people began telling me that I looked way better in it. LOL.

Trixie's birthday was on the 19th and mummy cooked up a feast for the family. Her yummy crabbies was part of the spread. My mum has been cooking such awesome food these days. I feel a potbelly developing. Ah jahanam! But then I'm going to miss all this to death when I head back to Auckland in ten days so I might as well screw all initiatives to diet this festive season and appreciate the perks of being home. I don't understand why I'm such a novice in the kitchen when my mom has intrinsic becomings of a chef! Sigh. So one of my resolutions for the new year is to learn how to cook. From scratch. Coz that's the way she did it.

This is me enjoying ice cream potong, red bean!!! I remember having it as a kid. Yummy ness on a stick. And since I got back, I've been having all sorts of yummyness on all sorts of sticks. I have been eating wayy too much. Aiyai.

LOL. Akash did this back when we were having exams and when FB was the only source of entertainment in our lives. Good to know that our baby will turn out to be caucasian altho it has 43 percent of his genes and 57 percent of mine. But she/he is awfully cute! And speaking of the devil, I miss himmmm to chunksssss!

Ten days. TEN DAYS and I am gone. While i get over that fact, I'd like to wish you guys a very Merry Christmas and Happay New Year!

Change

2009-12-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time the world revolved around me. It still does sometimes. And as much as I'd like to deny it, it surfaces like gurgling bubbles to calm water most of the time, to some more than others. Akash and my mother to be more specific. It's like the closer I get to someone, the more my grandiose visions of myself take center stage. But before I let the narcissism take over yet again, I will stop myself bluntly. This post is not about me. It is about you. Although the you that I know will NEVER read this, what I seemingly assume to turn into a longg wordy post with few pictures and a suffocatingly confusing analysis of what I myself cannot be too sure of.

Desperate attempt to furbish my post. This was among the other images that I got when i googled narcissism.

Maybe narcissistic is not what you are. I read the symptoms and half of it doesn't meet the characteristics that you possess. I don't know what it is really. But I sure hope it's the teenage angst you're growing out of. There's so much that you do that I fail to understand. And sometimes I sit down and think of a solution but nothing comes to mind. I think it's because the both of us are too soft at heart to initiate harsher consequences. And who am I to initiate consequences when I have not established a superior life for myself?

In a way I think you have done ME some good if not anything else. Because looking at you this way, cheating your way through and feeding your greed without remorse has made me feel the need to change you. You will never listen to me. But I will give you one less thing to blame her for. Don't ever say that I glided by coz she favored me. I did not abuse the trust and from this day on, you have inspired me to work for myself. To go out and find my own means and not depend on her just coz she's there to give and give and give and to never take. It's high time really. What took me so long to get here, I don't know. I just have this sudden surge of confidence that I will somehow achieve what I have set in my gilded mind. I will find a job. I will excel in my studies and graduate as planned. And I will have enough time for my boyfriend, friends and for my involvements in uni. There're heaps of students doing it out there. The only thing that separates me from them is my mindset. And so my mindset is set to change.

You have helped see me through this. And with that, I would like to help you earn your conscience back. To fill that massive black hole with something other than irreversible schemes related to you. To make you live within your means and not take for granted things that we both have. Things that I used to take for granted until I went overseas and realized that not much comes easy. When I come back here, I feel like a queen sometimes. Food is put on the table, groceries are bought, clothes are washed and dried, bed is made most of the time not by me... And all that turns me into a bitch. Maybe if I stop and think about the love that lies behind all the very actions that turn me ignorant, I'd learn to appreciate again. We are all human and none of us do this on reflex. But the difference between you and me is I stop to think about stuff like these sometimes and you don't seem to.

I am not going to ask you "what's wrong with you?". Coz nothing is. I just wish that you'd grow out of this phase soon because I know that deep within that blemished exterior of yours lies an honestly awesome person with a heart of gold. Let that be my christmas, birthday and every-occassion-that-requires-presents wish this year and next year. Just change.

2009-12-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

Just got back from some fashion show thinga majig with leeza. Ugh. I regret eating McDs so late at night. With curly fries some more! As if i am not already curly enough. sigh. Tummy rumbles. Which has led to subsequent rubbish blogging at this hour.

Coming back to Malaysia and spending the past few days here has made me realize how everyone here seems to be so preoccupied with their images that just figuring out what to wear on a daily basis can make you seem like you are facing murder charges in the supreme court. Even more so than I imagined it to be. I thought I'd come back here with the minimals since shopping here is so good for obvious reasons and then I'd go back equipped for a brand new year. But as I rummaged through my closet today for something mildly appropriate to wear for the fashion show, I felt this tinge of regret that I'm not usually one to keep up with the rise and fall in trends... Laidback comfort and sedate styles work for me...

Singapore awaits in a couple of days...=)

Current State

2009-11-19T13:01:00.000-08:00

I find myself into Hindi songs all of a sudden. I don't know if it's coz I spend a considerable amount of time with someone who's fluent in the language everyday of it's merely my inner Bollywood dramatic queen acting up. Which ever the case, I feel at ease with the froth of lukewarm culture that's engulfing my life.

What have I been doing post exams?

It's been a couple of pretty awesome days not having to wake up and think about study. Now I just wake up, make myself some toast while I watch dvds on my lappie/youtube reruns of That 70s Show and wait for plans to fall into place. And almost everyday there's more or less something to do, someone plans something or something falls into place.

Akash took me to Botany on Monday and we spent the day there. I could see why that place could be a paradise for a girl. They had double the amount of stores than there were in the city and the architecture was nice =) But his presence wasn't conducive enough to set me into a shopping frenzy like say, Melitta's presence would. So we just did a couple of rounds of window shopping and I vowed to go back there with Melitta or any other girl for that matter at least once before I depart this pretty land.

Been spending heaps of time with Akz to make up for all the lost times that we will experience while I am back in Malaysia. The only thing that sucks about leaving right now is that he won't be there. That aside, i am completely psyched to be returning. To be seeing my closest and dearest once again. To be eating the food that I love and to be away from weather as erratic as my mood swings. Ah well. At least when I return, he'll be awaiting me with open arms. Or so I think....

We've been looking around for apartments for me for next year.And some of the ones I have seen are spectacular. But taking pricing. convenience and everything else into account has been tricky business. And most only lease out places closer to the day when you're actually moving in. Which makes it even more difficult. Think I have to return a little earlier next year to find the perfect place.

Went to Mission Bay with the girls on Tuesday afternoon. We just felt like sprawling our legs out on the beach. And that's exactly what we did. Suks, Jess, Kailas, Melzers and I walked halfway there after which we hopped on a bus coz it was getting dark. It was good letting our hair down at the beach. Going crazy and dancing around to Jason Mraz's I'm Yours. Suks gave us the most laughs. My crazy RA. Will remember that one forever.

Wednesday was Andrew's 22nd in Henderson. Got a ride to his flashy house on the hill from Tuan and the guys. Gotta love his house, seriously! The only downside is, it's too far from Uni. Great food and good fun to catch up with everyone although all of a sudden the guys disappeared into the dining hall to play DOTA. *slaps forehead* Decided to leave with Jun Yan who was heading back into the city.

The rest of my time's spent either packing, reminiscing, watching DVDs or at the gym. Received a copy of a the Huia mag yesterday. Flipping through it, I realized that despite my attempts to deny it, I will miss this place should I move out. Two years here has made it one with an abundance of memories carved into my soul. And although I probably wasn't as outgoing in all the activities and I didn't enjoy the drinking splendours as much as a normal Huian would, I still take comfort in the fact that some of my more meaningful friendships were born out of my contract with Huia. And besides, I don't think I will be able to find cleaner communal bathrooms anywhere else! OR stalkers that not only leave messages under my door but also on my blog (thank you for the ego boost, I must say).

Whatever the case, 9th floor rocked it out this year. Thanks to Melitta, to whom I've never been closer to in times of stress and fun. Suks who's loud chatter, enthusiastic singing and heavy footsteps I'll never forget. Jess and her shrill voice and playful nature. Kailas's attempts to bake and fatten up the entire floor everytime she's stressed. Jacob and his gangsta greeting (ie" ssssup Dimz?!?). Leith, the neighbour I never got to know. Rachel, the sexy Filipino with a husky voice and a groovy fashion sense. Ged, the pommy english boy who started hitting on the sexy Filipino as soon as she arrived (ie: Rachel). Shaun, the apparent grump who I didn't find grumpy but nice enough to chid a hello whenever I bumped into him. Ace, the ever quiet pharmacy student who couldn't study coz Melzers and I made too much noise in her room. Guna, the Malaysian I kept bumping into in the kitchen. Naim, Azurin, Alya, Sya and Izzah, the ones who cooked only the bestest food with the nicest lingering aroma. Agata, the sexy Canadian with mean cooking skills and the biggest heart. Tana, the adventurous Mexican exchange student. Nicola, the golden girl of the 9th floor who's now returned to Maryland in the US. Jason, the absolute hunk, tall, tanned, built and never one to talk but be talked about. Mattias, the Swedish with the best attitude, ever willing to converse. Elin, Serena and Regina, the Europeans who cook together, eat together and speak English in their own little accents together. Ben, the man of mass destruction, been kicked out of clubs, gotten into road fights, ended up in bruises all over the place, you name it, he's done it. Charlotte, perhaps the most mature one on the floor with her endless thesis' and dissertations. Diyani, my pysch sidekick, sensible and smart. Ronnie, Michael, CY and Edward, the Asians with a kick. Charo, the Spaniard who was always cheerful and beared a striking resemblance to Anne Hathaway. Hmmm. I think that's everyone.... These people made the 9th what it was.

Gotta get ready now... Peace out!

SheBakes!

2009-11-15T04:46:00.000-08:00

Talk about emancipation. Ah. I is so free! It feels like swimming through low grade viscosity chocolate. And speaking of chocolate, I was at it again when I decided to put my baking skills to the test. After finally ending my gym hiatus today, I spent the whole afternoon in the occasionally empty communal kitchen perfecting my baking skills. Baking is so FUn! I think it's my own personal form of projection. Now I understand what Kailas talks about when she famously claims that baking takes her mind off studies. But to do it every week? Nah. So not me. Every once in a blue moon? Now we're talking!

Whatever the case, I was pumped today. My main motivation was KS. Reason being I had promised to bake him a batch of cookies for his 21st birthday MONTHS ago. And today, I finally got down to doing it. Which is why KS received a majority of the personalized cookies that emerged from the dough as seen on the right.

It was the usual mixing and matching. Thankfully Kailas had a lot of excess baking stuff that she wished to get rid off before leaving huia so I got to make use of them. Thanks again Kailas. You will not imagine the array of embellishements that the girl has when it comes to baking.

I used green colouring for my icing. It was still pretty lumpy when i was done with it, but i am not one who is particularly meticulous when it comes to these things.

So I used heart shape sprinkles on some of the cookies. Embellishments courtesy of Kailas once again.

And there were butterfly embellishments.

And round ball-y thingies sprinkles.

..... and these sorta sprinkles

And then there was Melitta, all set to go to church here, who helped me get the stubborn cookies off the tray.

KS. the inspiration. His very own personalized bday cookies.

So coloufullllllll! I likey! =) Anyways, they turned out wayyyy better than my last batch of cookies, not that those were bad. Which goes to show that practice makes perfect, well, most of the time anyways.

For my baybeeeee.

And when I had an entire tupperware full for KS.......

I decided to make two personalized cookies for all the people I could think off on top of my head.

There!!! These are just some... the bits and pieces of imperfect cookies only mean that the person whose name is on the surface ate part of it before i could take a picture.

Kailas. The baking guru. She was making choclairs while I thrived on with my amateurish cookies.

And then I packed them in cling wrap, individually for each person.

And put them in tiny plastic baggies :) I am such a neurotic sometimes. Seriously. But packed and ready for delivery.

Ah happy happy. Endorphins running through my blood vessels! Had the best Indian food in a LONGGG time for dinner tonight at Nite Spice in Newmarket with Akash. And I am still bloated with satisfaction. But the good times have just begun to roll. And so, I anticipate......

Coz Irony thrives on

2009-11-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

A month and counting

2009-11-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

I am uploading this upon request of a certain someone who thinks he looks like Collin Farrel (I almost typed in Firth) from the movie 'In Bruges' here. LOL. What a crack up, seriously! And in hopes of chasing away a stranger who keeps leaving odd comments in my chatbox. I wish I had that much time to go around leaving odd comments in other peoples chatboxes and then not even owning up to them.

It's been one month. Too short really. I feel like I've been with him forever now. I didn't want him to take me anywhere, especially since he had to pay NZD 1700 for his car repairs and take the bus here and also coz we were all still stuck in a study daze. But we still did something. Thoughtful enough to make it perfect. I always thought it was weird when couples sat on the same side of the table. Until I did it yesterday. Didn't feel odd at all. Felt right.

And then we went back to the viaduct. And walked around. That place drips with droplets of memories. It's where he revealed. Where we watched fireworks. Where I met the majority of his friends. Where those lavish appartments with yatch parking lodges lie. Has to be my favorite place....

Two papers to go. And then I am freeeeeeee. And i CANNOT wait. OMYLORD. studying is such a drag!!! It's killing my social life and making my arse grow exponentially....

In other areas, I think the explanation of securitization by the clip below is pretty awesome. I love my sociology lecturer. He has amazing aids to helps us study. We got to watch south park at lecture once and it was completely related to the topic. Amazing sources!

Midnight Break

2009-11-01T04:25:00.000-08:00

I foresee a catharsis like never experienced before on Wednesday. My brains are exhausted with facts.... The only time I exit my room is when I have to transport myself to the gym and back and when I have to get myself some food. Doesn't help that the weather has been heavenly for the past couple of days. All I feel like doing is cue: picture!!... Won't be seeing Akash for the next couple of days coz we both have papers on the same day and can do without the distraction for now. Although thinking about anything to do with him still makes me feel like (cue: picturee below!)

Ah well. The comfort of the warm duvet calls. Here I go running....

Mmmmmm

2009-10-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

the story of my life........ literally!

i think i should seriously consider locking my blog. my chatbox is being invaded by aliens!!!! ROAR.

Updates

2009-10-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

The final week before exams is officially upon me. And to say I am prepared would be such an exaggerated lie that I'd prefer to just not go there. Akash is driving us to Tamaki today where a deserted campus lies in the middle of foliage so we can get some quiet study done. Which also means I have to get ready in one hour!

Finished my last assignment of the semester during the weekend and I can't believe how freaking long it took! I was supposed to finish it LAST weekend. But me being the perfectionist (which I hate!) went and read this entire mountain of journals to fully understand the concept of psychoanalytic desire and capitalism from Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari's points' of view. There is sadly, no space for perfectionism in uni. It's all about the science of balance. Spend too long on one assignment, and you lose out somewhere else, whether it's study or lecture or fun, the decision is ultimately yours. What I have come to realize is uni is almost too savage when it comes to time. It's nowhere close to a conducive place for people like me who are meticulous about detail. I'm still learning how to substitute detail and precision with speed. But I have never been good at that. To produce quality, I have always been someone to take time. It's challenging that way. And a challenge, despite my constant complains, is something that I have always loved. So bring it on finals. Time to rip you apart!

Friday night was our UMSA old/new committee appreciation dinner at Turkish Cafe in Newmarket. Pretty much a success. It marked the ultimate final event for the old committee which time and time again, I have said, that I will miss to death. KS made good souvenir booklets and everyone wrote nice stuff about each other in them. I still can't help glimpsing through mine. I love such things! SO simple yet so meaningful. And the food. OMYLORD. best food I have had in WEEKS! Jie Huei, Allan, Ati and I shared three dishes and I just couldn't help stuffing me face. Turkish food is the bombinos!

Saturday night was Vim's surprise 21st birthday party that Allan planned and executed with the assistance of myself and the rest. Got him a cake and then we waited in the apartment while they got back from grocery shopping and yelled "SURPRISE!!!!". Can die laughing! coz Vim was so shocked that the first thing he did was run out of the apartment. Good times! Been having more of my fair share. We played mafia, a game that I am pretty good at as I have come to realize. hehe. And then there was talking and laughing til the break of dawn. If it weren't for these people, my life would be lacklustre.

In other areas, my life has been consumed by Akash. I am getting used to the idea of spending so much time with one person. And what a twist too. Coz for the longest time, i have done things all by myself here in Auckland. Now I have someone calling me everyday to ask me if I've eaten and what I did and to tell me that he loves me. And to take silly pictures with me and mock me and my most favorite of all time - hug me! Gratitude comes in abundance! I have been driven around more in the past month than in my whole stay in Auckland. And for the very first time, I actually visited a temple (mummy will be haps!)... Thing with him is when he wants to take me somewhere or pay for something or do something for me, he doesn't let me say no. I guess that's what I need to getting used to. Somebody being so nice and not having ulterior motives. It shouldn't be so hard to get used to. Alrighty, I better sign off here coz QT pie's driving over in a bit.

Love yous! and see yous in Malaysia sooooooooon. One month! too soon.

Happy

2009-10-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

It should be illegal to be this happy. It feels scary to feel this safe. Perfection is overrated. It makes me wonder when the antagonist will jump out from it's hiding and bring with it a ruckus. Right now, I feel like a gigantic hypocrite. For doing all those things that couples do that I used to cringe at. I feel like a hypocrite for saying that trust comes at a hefty price. It used to.

I guess happiness really does await all of us. The big of us, the small of us... All you have to do it is wait. And seek. And never give up. This has to some extent renewed my spiritual faith. Eversince speaking to mumzo, I have been forced by the bf to take off two minutes everyday to pray =O. Hardly feels like an effort.

All that's on my mind right now is the finals. And this one last assignment that's sucking the life outta me.

Puurrrrfect Day

2009-10-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Weather was super nice the whole of yesterday. It's just too bad that had to be stuck in my room completing my 201 report. Glad to say I have that off my list for now. But I had to skip the BFM OhanaMii gathering at the domain just to complete the entire thing. Bummed out coz I couldn't go but I suppose at times like these priorities have to be set apart from leisure.... Whatever the case, I forced Melitta and Jess to go for a walk with me at the domain later that evening coz too much cooping up was just plain unhealthy. Especially in such nice weather. There was this group of people playing some awesome drum beats in the middle of nowhere. Honestly, we all wanted to break out into a bongo dance. But common decency stopped us from doing so.

Spring's been acting up a lot. Sometimes it's super nice and sunny. Other times it gets colder than winter!

The museum at the domain. I jog this path whenever it's not getting cold. Jogging in the domain is more therapeutic than treadmills. But in the winter, the pressure builds up in my ears and it hurts. Which offsets the therapy.

getting off the canon after the picture below was taken.

She's seemingly looking far and wide into my arse.

Front of the museum.I wonder why we never posed here before.

Later at night, Kailas, Mel and I went to the Divali Mela celebration at the viaduct. There were SO many stalls selling food and clothes and bangles and bindi and henna and MORE foood. And you didn't even have to walk, it was so crowded that the crowd pushed you into motion. Never have I been surrounded by so many Indians in my life! Even more than dodgy places in Malaysia. Except, these people weren't that much dodgy. Everyone just minding their own business which is exaclty how I liked it. Met up with cute stuff and his friends there. O man. I adore his friends. They actually make an effort to try and get me to feel comfortable around them. Always asking if I'm alright or hungry and trying to make conversation. Honestly, the best ever! Thank you Shanika, Bharat, Dhara, Sukhy, Purdy, Priya, and everyone else who was there and don't read my blog.... And I'm glad my friends adore cute stuff just as well.

He's good with them. Having coffee after the three of us split samosas and chappatis at the stalls.

And then there were the fireworks. So niiiice! they illuminated the sky and cute stuff and I got back to the viaduct just in time to see them!

Was awesome watching the fireworks in the arms of another. Coz as you would've guessed, I have never had such pleasure. Ahhhh. happay happay happayyyyyy!

Ok man. I HAVE to stop blogging! What is this?!?!?

Summore?!?!

2009-10-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how news spreads like wild fire. Just a day after I told Akash my final verdict, people already knew that we were giving this a shot. I suppose it was my fault for putting up pictures on my blog a tad too quickly. What was I thinking yo? The World Wide Web! LOL. But then again, my blog has always been faithfully visited by my nearest and dearest in Malaysia, so to leave them out of such significant news on my part would be just not fair. After all, I already fail at keeping in touch pretty badly....

Anyway, I can't help myself. My hands almost itch to upload more pictures. And I think I am bound to find it a bigger feat as time goes by, coz unlike most guys, he loves taking pictures as much as I do!!!! What do u get when u put two camwhores in a pod? - one VERY exhausted camera!

Nothing feels different though. Apart from the fact that I'm happy

and I can finally walk down a street with my hand clasped in that of another and not feel weird/awkward/

guilty. Everything else remains pretty much the same. I still have assignments due. The trepid instincts to study still hypnotizes my conscience more often than not with only three weeks left for finals!

O gosh. How I long for more free time. But so does everyone. There is never enough time in the world to go around....

Just a matter of time before my head gets displaced from the clouds (I wish it wouldn't!!!). Reality has somewhat begun to settle. Until then, I just urge that you be patient with the whims and fancies that unfold within this blog.

Just had to put that one up coz he looks adorable! -------------->(he's bending down n i m tiptoeing!!!!)
I made him give me the lyrics of the song he wrote me and I'm putting it up here coz I think it's awfully cuuuuute! Laugh at my expense. Really. Heh.

From Me to You <3 - Akash Jani

There is this girl I like,

She studies Psych,

When I saw you the first time,

I thought you were the sunshine,

I thought I'd come say hi,

But the words wouldn't come out right,

I knew that I fell for you,

But there was nothing much I could do.

When I see in those pretty eyes,

I see a girl who's oh-so-nice,

I was always scared to tell you,

How much I thought of you.

Everytime I'm with you,

The world looks so beautiful too,

Now as the days go by,

I think of you day and night,

I know I wanna see you everytime,

And one day I will make you mine. (x2)

hahahaha! cuuuuuute! Ok. On to report now. Thank you for all the comments for the past post! Much appreciated!

Is there an 'US' now?

2009-10-06T03:03:00.000-07:00

Been keeping this secret for way too long. Guess I just wanted to know that everything was right. And now that I have no other reason to push it away because he gives me no reason to, I think it's fair to give this a shot.

"so really. why do you care so much, I've lived this way all my life, I'm used to not having anybody around to care"

"I don't HAVE to care. I just want to. Because you're you"

I'm just this love sick child right now. Give me some allowance to let my head float within the clouds. I've not given him the final verdict yet. But he makes me happy. I think this one's here to stayyyyyy.

the Aww factor

2009-10-03T05:27:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with me?

Today was probably one of THE best days ever. I am as of now, officially the secretary of UMSA 2010 which means my campaign was effective and my presentation went smoothly. Thanks to everyone who came for the Annual General Meeting to vote. Big twist in the Top 4 results with Jack making it as the treasurer but I did not have as much of a problem with it as Jie Huei did. Hopefully, everything works out well and we will all be able to sort out our differences in order to maintain peace in the club.

But the real reason for it being one of the best was coz I'd never experienced such immaculate romance all at one go. I got a rose today. A single red rose (cue picture) in the sweetest way possible. It was all so unexpected. How I got picked up coz it was raining bullock carts, and then serenaded with a song written just for me in slow strums of a guitar in the background. It's hard to remain discrete about these things. Especially if it's a stare-in-your-face sort of romance that's either dead or overrated in this modern era.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just always never too sure. Always doubting. Unable to come up with answers. Well. All i will say is the past four weeks have been one helluva adventure. Let's just hope this one sticks around for the aftermath.

Time of our Lives

2009-09-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

I've heard one too many times that you have the time of your lives at uni. And despite the immense stress that comes with it, the multitude of confusion, the assignments that grind you to the ground, the tests that makes your adrenaline rush more than a bungy jump ever would, I am beginning to agree. My life has never been so fulfilling. Coz amidst all that haste, there's a sense of belonging that fills me up with happiness. A purpose that drives me. Mornings to look forward to. An appreciation felt within unlike any other. Compared to my first year, my second year at Auckland uni has improved by leaps and bounds. My social network has widened seamlessly and my confidence has surpassed it's original threshold.

I have many people to thank. Many avenues to be grateful for. Friends to be appreciative of. Coz as of now, I am in a very happy place. And I know being here is transient, this phase may only be a temporary one in my many many phases. But right at this very moment, I am grateful to be here.

The lovely UMSA 09 committee (some) during our Raya open house celebration on Saturday. Had some really yummy food after we helped out in the morning. And then there was some heavy politicking in the air. I don't care much for politics. But I have decided to continue my journey with UMSA and elevate myself to the top 4 positions. I'm running for secretary next year. I know it won't be easy, but I'm ready to take on the challenges and enjoy the lows that will come with all the highs. There's so much I can never be too sure about but I take comfort in knowing that like it did this year, if I were to be elected again, UMSA will most definitely help me grow just as much or even more so next year.

Izzah, my Huia floor mate lent me her baju kurung. And I don't ever recall wearing a baju kurung, so I think this is the first time I've actually worn one.

Friday night was DV8 at Studio on KRoad. It was one of the final Asia events UMSA was involved in this year. Only went coz I managed to get a free ticket courtesy of the Asia clubs coz i helped publicize the event on Facebook. Was a pretty good night, but I am increasingly turned off clubbing these days. It's pretty pointless really, especially since I hardly drink and thus hardly become all crazy like everyone else.

haha. squishy. at Jie Huei's place for our version of the 'last supper'.

Allan doing the squishy. I've become really close to Allan of late. Been confiding in him a lot. And I hear out his problems as well. So it's a mutual agreement sort of thing. It just feels comfortable.

haha. love this one! But honestly, I HAVE to stop hanging out with these guys. It's robbing me off my innocence and drowning me in a pool of lame jokes. I think I have more than a healthy share under my sleeves at the moment.

playing the dancing game on Wii. super fun times!

although, it makes us appear ridiculous on pictures.

check out Tuan's sexy eyes. Jie Huei and I applied eyeliner and sparkly to them. Best thing was, he was fine with it.

The 09 committee that I will NEVER forget. too many memories. to much laughter. good times that cannot be replaced. love you guys!

check out this version of No Air by Boyce Avenue. I absolutely LOVE it. Way better than the original. I have it on replay =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guWHD4a1wOM

Lost

2009-09-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Been feeling a little..............

Yesterday, when I got back home, I realized that I might have just stopped growing spiritually as a person. I am still God fearing in a humanely way but some things have just changed. Ashamed as I am to admit it, clasping my hand in prayer has become quite an effort. And even when I do turn towards Him, the same recitals are repeated almost too robotically and then regimented wishes are mumbled like I don't even mean it. I'd hate to imagine the person I have become if even 5 minutes of prayer seems to take great effort. Why has it become so difficult to confide in a greater being who created me and bestowed me with the survival instincts as I live and breathe to this day? Where in the past I did it willingly because of the abundant of rewards reaped from the belief in a higher being, I now do it out of guilt.

If you don't pray, God won't bless you and He will take away everything you ever owned and your happiness and He will strike you with a lightning and you and your family will be damned then.

Why do I still think like a child? These things have been engraved in our innocent minds eversince we were kids. If you're naughty, God punishes you. If you grow up to steal and become a murderer, then you will end up in hell. Does it really work that way at all? I can't believe I am about to quote Karl Marx here, but I will. Marx said religion is the opium of people. I find truth in it. Religion was created to keep society sane. To prevent us from running wild. We had to hold on to this belief that there was a greater good what with all the suffering that we witness everyday. I wish I could see the world again from the eyes of a child.... So many religions. So many different ways to praise God. So many different interpretations of who He is and how we ended up where we are.

It would take someone with spiritual strength to not question who was controlling the world and it's people like a puppet master in the skies. As of now, I haven't got that spiritual strength yet. I have many many questions. And I have the desire to grow and not bask in the stuntedness that has overidden my life of late. Coz when my beliefs become weaker, they are manifested in lies and other less than proud deeds which I do not wish to speak of here.

The good thing about all this is I am not afraid to be lost. Or to admit that I am. Just because there is so much to learn. I don't even know where to begin. Or how to. I'd have to start somewhere and I wish someone would guide me through the entire process. Someone who'd do it not merely for the sake of evangelism or with ulterior motives. But people only know so much and sooner or later I'd have to come to a decision. Axioms of choice. Haha. I think what I'm really wishing for is for God Himself to come down and lead me in the right direction.

Then again, we are all human. We get lost. We find our way... And that in itself is a reinforcement for spirituality. I wish to be able to finally see the changes unfold right before me when I reacquire the strength that I once possessed. I have faith that I will.

BFM Shenanigans

2009-09-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning. And what better way to start the morning before delving head first into a world of isoquants and utility functions for my microeconomics test on monday. I'm beginning to notice a trend. Blogging before a nerve gritting test is pretty calming. It smooths out all those tiny knots that have formed themselves within the grey matter in your brains. Or maybe it just works for me.

I woke up this morning to the dreaded sound of the stupid construction outside. There are two uni residences up at Grafton. And I bet both Huians and Graftoners have cursed the construction site one too many times this year alone. In fact, I've forgotten what it's like to wake up to a nice quite morning. There're road works everywhere. It's like an alarm clock that just won't shut up. And best thing is, the alarm clock begins to ring at three in the morning and continues throughout the day. You just have to learn to drown out the noises. I'm lucky I'm not a light sleeper. Because I know people who are and let's just say, they're not in a very happy place right now.

Hari Raya looms upon us today. I'm not sure what my muslim friends are doing but I know my Hari Raya will be spent studying every page possible of my econs 201 course book. I'm still considering making a trip to the architecture library after the gym this morning. I love the archi library for the simple reason that it hasn't been discovered by many people yet. The lights are just right and there's no tendency for overpopulation which I am quite particular about.

Anyway, on to more serious matters. My last week of the holiday (which ended the week before this), was pretty much concentrated on my backstage crew role for the Brighter Future Musical. It was held at the Freeman Arts Center at Epsom Girls Grammar, a drive away from the city. The last few days of the week had me whisked away into a world of musicals. After high school musical and all that bullshit that they have these days, I thought this was going to be some lame ass production as well. But it was nowhere near lame. Talent is the word. I was surrounded by an amazing group of talented young souls that I felt nowhere near my element at all.

This was taken during one of the rehearsals. Long time MCC groupie played the lead, Environ, in this play and the theme was simple yet pronounced.

Best thing was, the music was composed and produced by Jun Bin himself! And it sounded almost too professional to be the brain child of an average asian graduate who is in the midst of studying animation. My respect and admiration for this young lad tripled in just that week alone.

Jun Bin briefing us after the play on Friday.

Group photo. Clearer ones available on facebook with psycho threads that make me wanna untag myself.

with some of the cast and crew.

My only complaint was the unhealthy lifestyle that ensued on performance nights. Supper was mandatory. Unhealthy supper that is. And the fact that my gym going sprees were disabled during the aforementioned period, I didn't feel too happy gorging down happy meals. Can't say the same here for Tuan who played the kung fu master in the play.

The picture that earned me the stripper name Diminatrix. Along with all those other names....

This is what the jobless bunch of us came up with. we turned mighty, juicy and grand Angus, names of a burger to Anus..... yea.

Boys will be morons. But I just love these two. LMAO.

Day two of play. Allan had to occupy the car booth coz there was no other way to transport him to the Freeman Arts center.

Backstage.

I think i had the coolest job! I was supposed to communicate with the peeps in the on call room at the top to make sure that everything (lighting, curtains, yada yada) on stage was good. Hence the headphone. And i also had to shout out lines to the actors in case they forgot their lines. Hung out with Allan alot doing backstage shenanigans.

me and the director cum script writer, Ada...

with D24? Hijrah, who played the villain.

more cast and crew

with my backstage peeps.we had to be decked in black. so the ones who aren't in dark here, aren't part of the crew...

with pumpkin Boon.

Kung fu master Tuan, his wife and Jarrod (aka Environ)

more cast n crew.

K-Ann. She played one of the instruments in the band.

And then on Monday. We had one of our last few UMSA meetings. Can't believe my term this year is coming to an end. The AGM is coming up very soon and with it comes the vanquishment of my editorial position and I've still yet to decide if I should run again. With UMSA came a 360 degree turn of my life here in Auckland. It opened up opportunities, became a catalyst when it came to meeting new people, improved my social life by leaps and bounds and allowed me to take on challenges that I never imagined I would! which is why giving it up seems quite unimaginable. =(

Part of the committee. Taken at the engineering cafe where we have our weekly meetings.

ANd then we resorted to Nandos for dinner.

I should go before I ramble on further. The world of isoquants and consumer theory await me. *sigh* have a good and safe raya guys! and appreciate everything that comes with it, coz as you should be well aware of, I get nothing close to that here.

My intermission - Your entertainment

2009-09-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

because blogging is so much more appealing than writing an essay about Marx's alienation and Durkheim's anomie....

Holidays have been fantastic. Apart from the assignmenting bit.

Got invited to Wei-Yuen's last weekend. She insisted on delighting me with lunch and I obliged without much persuasion.

I absolutely love her room. You see. This is why I want to go flatting. So that I can embellish my room with non dull furnishings and make it my own.

Anyway, the hillarious tot made us all (Nath, Mark, me and herself) egg noodles as make shift spaghetti.

And then there was her one of a kind sauce. A tinge of tangerine slammed my tastebuds during initial contact but after a while the taste grew on me, so much so, I'm craving it just as I write this. There were shrimps and tomatoes embedded somewhere within the mound. And she garnished it with parsley, pepper (which we got to grind ourselves!) AND feta cheese. Delish! Aiyo. I want to experiment with my cooking skills. I NEED to. If only i had a proper kitchen and not a communal one where my pots and pans and chopping board AND knives get stolen. bah!

Ah. Classic Nathan. Music and Nath are inseperable. Like peanut butter and jelly. Like adenine and thymine bases on the DNA helixes. Like Nathan and Wei-Yuen. =) Complementary.

more snapshots of her room.

Martha Stewart in the making.

And then on Monday, social officer and long time friend Allan Ooi organized a laser strike event for UMSA. And where there's UMSA, there's the bunch of us crazy souls. And OMG. Laser strike is the ABSOLUTE bomb man. Must try! it's like paintball minus the pain. I didn't expect to have so much fun (or sweat so much....) but I did. And I met all these new faces, never knew they were members to begin with! And the best part of it all was getting to shoot people and run into them without and excuse. So funnnnn. If i had the chance, I'd go again and again and again and again. But one thing's for sure. Go in a gigantic group.

me and my sniper mate for life -Jie Huei. We always end up together. Whether it's washing dishes, acting in skits, shaking our booties and even in games like these. I'd never even imagine that I'd meet here again after BRATs Kuching 07 (where we were in the same group just as well!) but I guess that's the thing about unexpected twists in life. Love you Jie Huei!

Rayvin, Roger, Boon and Akbar. Loved being stuck in a car with these guys. Rayvin and his china apek jokes crack me up. Roger's the one with great advice. Good head on those shoulders man. Boon saves the day. You can count on him to. And Akbar. Ever reliable. Ever supportive. Ever gutsy. Equally crack up material. OMG. you guys should so watch his Vellu Annaa Air Asia X video clip for the ball. Just go to youtube and search vellu annaa. sure to find it. It's some hillarious shit. Swear you won't regret it.

Got back at 3 am after I hung out with the guys at Denny's and had to wake up early the next morning for mini golf with Fran, Sam, Yuen, Noob and Nath.

Yuen and Nath picked me up from Huia and off we went to the pirate themed mini golf course near the airport.

just as close this year as we were last year.

me and sam. before exilation.

Fran and Noob.

My very first attempt at mini golf and I loved it. Loved the course!

love this one of them!

stylo milo noob

turns out, Nath's really competitive when it comes to err, almost everything so when I was winning on beginners luck, it got a little scary. eek. but I'm not competitive, I mean it's just a game so I was cool when Nath took the lead after seriously traumatizing me! But i came in at 2nd place. So yes. Golf may just be my niche.

Happy after finishing all 18 courses. I have no idea why i'm posing like Bozo the clown. Had to think quick. We put the camera on timer.

And then we went to this cafe nearby for a bite.

Perfect end to a perfect day. If only my essays would do themselves. sigh. Can't wait for BFM this weekend. I'm actually looking forward to tumbling in and out of the stage with Allan for our prop stint.

Secret Recipe. A dash of neuroticism. A crap load of chocolate. And walla!

2009-09-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

Man. I am so easily amused. Ordinary day it was, today. But Melitta and I induced some craze into it. We went to St. Luke's and I am so proud of myself for not buying anything. It gets harder each time to tighten those purse strings. Materials weren't on my mind today. It was all about the walking and the talking. A lot of walking and talking. Such joy.

And then we came back and decided to bake coz we've been wanting to do it for ages and we've always been pretty envious of Kailas and Agata for their awesome baking skills. So there we were, toiling in the kitchen, working up a mess of it's own kind. And when we were done, even the sight of the cookies were repulsive so we decided to spread the love and distribute them to our fellow 9th floorers. Again. Such joy.

They weren't the best. Burnt outsides, mushy insides. Amateur icing. But with the secret ingredient and a little bit of lurvinggg all was good.

getting everything set.

creaming without those whipping things was a feat.

and instead of chocolate blocks, we used cocoa powder and water.

the human mixer.

There were a lot of make shift ingredients as there were make shift methods.

Cookie dough comes into formation.

Just before popping them into the oven

and in they go.......

so while we wait, we observe Ronnie making japanese curry for his dinner.

and struggled not to consume cookie dough

and so the first batch of chocolate walnut cookies come out and they are nowhere close to perfect. A tad bitter and there was no crunch to the cookie. But Jacob and Guna said they were pretty good. And we were not about to give up.

So we made a second batch with a brand new recipe and real Dairy Milk chocolate bits.

while the old ones went into keeping

There's our new batch

Melitta gracefully spooning little clumps onto the baking tray

and out they come tasting better than the previous batch although not looking as good.

the cookie cutters. us before going out on a distribution run.

Ronnie.

Shaun.

Asal.

Charlotte.

Michael.

Didn't take pictures of Guna, Andrew, Trish, Jacob and random British guy.

And only after giving them out did we come up with the secret ingredient. A heaven of truffle icing. They made the cookies look even more appealing than..... you name it.

talk about transformation man.

melting the truffles.

o boy. o joy.

after a while, we got lazy to do the whole pattern thing and just chucked chocolate all over the cookies.

drizzle. drip.

yummah. mummah.

UMSA Ball 09

2009-08-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

I slept in this morning. Slept in til late and when I finally woke up, it was with the realization that I had nothing important to do today or nowhere I had to rush to before a certain time. My past few weeks had been defined by deadlines. By challenges and marketing hurdles. It all paid off last night. Planning started months ahead of the ball. We finally got a taste of the fruit of our bearing last night during which the entire team danced into the twilight. Literally. To belong to such an amazing talented crew of people was thus far one of the better experiences in my life. It felt like rotaract in it's glorious days all over again. Everyone had roles of their own and each pitched in with as much zest as would have been expected of them. I think that was what made it more meaningful at the end of the day. That just like mine was, everyone else's heart was into this one grand event. Whether it was performing, or helping out with decorations or promoting, we were all in this together. And there is nothing like togetherness to make the world feel like a better place.

I'd say it wasn't all cotton candy and fairy dust though. Working with people is not easy. Sometimes you just wish you could squeeze their neck to make ends meet. But my experience in UMSA has taught me a lot about compromise, toleration and team work. The stress that came with organizing the ball pushed people to their limits at times. It almost took me by surprise a couple of times how some people who I thought would hardly lose their cool were pushed to their breaking points. Oddly, it made me respect them just a little bit more. I can't say that I now know the committee in and out, but working so closely with a group of people certainly brought us closer to one another. I've had numerous people ask me if I had plans to remain in the committee. Usually I'd go for it. But now I don't know anymore. I don't think UMSA will ever feel the same without my original committee. And as much as the excitement of working with a new committee is enthralling, I'm not sure I can handle losing my old one. Ah well. I'm just being a big baby.

I've put up a couple of pictures from last night up here but there's a photo log on it as a created album on facebook which takes you through the last few days.

Some of the details that the marketing team was in charge of. Ticket designing, ticket wrapping, ball promotion, table planners, posters.

a closer glimpse of the tickets. I love the colour combination.

The photo spot as Crowne Plaza. This was what Azhan and I were incharge of on the morning of the ball. Atie bought the drapes and thanks to June, we managed to come up with quite a creation.

Our drum performance for the China scene in our skit. We were using buckets. yes.

With the people at my table. Table 9.

I still find Tuan such a joy to be around. LOL. He taught us some good fight moves for our China fight scene in the skit. And he choreographed the drum beats too.

from left Kauthar, Joss who was the emcee for the night, Jie Huei who choreographed all our dances, Allan who played one of the Ali's angels amazingly well, me, ex-UMSA president Ying Swan and Atie who came up with the entire deco idea for the ballroom for the night.

The committee at our photo spot minus a few people.

I'm just very thankful that I was part of the experience. Grateful that I got to meet many many amazing people that night.

Got a two week mid semester break before reality settles in yet again. And then it's back to tests and assignments.

HAPPY 21ST LEEZA!!!

2009-08-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

This one's for you Foo!

Happy 21st Birthdayyyyy!!!!

I think you're awesome coz you can be intensely hot!!!

.....stand tall (literally) in heels that I can only dream of wearing.....

......you're never constricted when it comes to creativity.........

.......your love for Starbucks mirrors mine (just like so many other things).....

.....for the signature pose that reflects unique-ness?!?!...........

..........for not being a lightweight, I respect you woman! you hold your liquor well (sorta)..........

.......for the years we spent growing up together. I know I've been through more with you than all of my friends combined. (lol. i look hideous in this picture!!)..........

.......for the support you provided me with, be it in Rotaract or in even the most mediocre events in my life................

..........for the matches and mismatches..........

.........for the concept of the sisterhood..........

........coz ice-cream tastes so much better with you around.....

........coz i've shared celebrated moments with celebrities in your company........

.........coz when we're together, life goes by in euphoric blurry flashes of light..........

.......for providing me with the dog I never had........

I was thinking. For your 21st birthday, I could get you......

.....a hot guy from New Zealand......

......sexay lingerie?........

......or perhaps, I could take you out to some expensive restaurant.......

But for now...

physical distance creates a boundary and what we're left with is the fact that regardless of all we've been through and everything that's happened, we will never be able to get rid of each other! Now isn't that a lovely surprise? lol.

BFFs forever n ever n ever n ever n ever n ever.......

LOVE YOU LEEZZZZZZZ!

n yes. I will get you something when I head back.

imma faint now. so gonna hit snoooooze button.

Just a Lil Colour

2009-08-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

I got my hair highlighted for free today! yayness. all thanks to Wei-Yuen who referred me to another friend of hers who was training at this academy. And it only took about two hours. Now i have these awesome copper coloured streaks in my hair. Absolutely love it!

can you see it?

I likey!!!

I still can't believe my luck! dahahhaha.

In other areas. My RA seemingly has swine flu. What's worse is that she lives right beside me! ugh. Social psych test tomorrow. Must. Stop. Now. Must. Start. Studyinggggggg.........

Acceptance

2009-08-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

There's so much I want to say. But I can't. Because I am in the midst of writing a report on the McGurk effect and speech perception. It's a very interesting effect if you ask me. Just not when you're forced to read a thousand articles about it from PsycInfo ... I spent the entire afternoon drifting away into the land of sleep and reading about Love and Attraction for my social psych test this coming Thursday. Yes. It's one of those concentrated weeks yet again. Report due on Wednesday. Test on thursday. Ball on Sunday.

I look forward to the break. During which i have to try and catch up with whatever's in the trajectory ahead of me. Last week of uni this one. Before spring break. Alrighteo. Gotta keep this short, so here's a few updates from the past week (weeks??!). More like ONE day. But updates from all those weeks during which my blogging hiatus lasted will take me a fortnight to write.

pictured here is Agata and her boyfriend, Lee with their pink wigs ;) At her farewell party in BoogieWonderland.

Agata Dzwonek. My awesome Canadian floor mate left for Canada last night. It was one of the more emotional goodbyes for all of us 9th floorers. Simply coz this pretty lass with a lot of spunk and absolutely no fear was anything but ordinary. We all grew to love her with time, even if it was only a mere three months. She was always offering, never taking, terribly comforting. Pity that she's gone. But I've come to accept how life lets you come across some of the most inspiring, friendly people and then take them away ever so often. Just like the bad apples, the good one come and go. Acceptance. I'm glad to have obtained it over the months, especially the months that I've spent here in Auckland.

taken in the span of my room.

I finally managed to pull off the look. Not that I've changed 360 degrees. Far from it. Sometimes it's just about being confident in your skin and not looking at yourself and coming up with slandering remarks. Acceptance. So what if you have slobbery thighs or a muffin top or all those imperfections? just accept it. work on it. love it. and trust that despite it, you still look good. A friend told me just recently that whenever he went out with his girlfriend, she'd complain about all this odd things about herself, but ironically, all those odd things were the reasons he was with her in the first place. Most of them being physical characteristics.

This picture is for the peace of mind of my mother. Don't worry mumsy. I still covered up coz i had this image of you looking at me in a disapproving manner. LMAO. kidding.

From left, Ged, Jess and Suks. It was also Suks 21st that night. So we club hopped from Boogie Wonderland, to CrowBar where we all got free drinks, and then to The MET and then back to Boogie WOnderland.

My girlies. Moe, me, Rigamoto and Kailas.

A very bad photo of a couple of peeps from my floor. Although, this picture pretty much captures the essence of our personalities. Blurry. Crazy. Wreckless. All over the place.

Me and the bestfriend. Honestly, without her I'd be like a little lost lamb. We're perhaps the only two sane ones in all our outings.

Boogie WOnderland. I LOVE the dance floor. Full of creeps. But amazing colours and decor. And the music is so retro 70s. Perfection!

Ok. Back to my report now.

I love.........

2009-08-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

My current loves....

The way the sky tower glows at night....

Kailas. For the type of person that she is.

Discovering new pathways through town.

Creative spurts courtesy of my friends...... (john gave francine this for her 20th birthday recently)

heart warming spontaneous gestures.......

winter coils

floating lilies.

how the sun cascades in every now and then....

weaves. creativity amidst nature.

how it's slowly coming into spring.......

(see quote above)

sharing food! everything tastes better when shared! n it's kinder on the wallet too.

UMSA..... (majority not in this pic. duhhh)

flea markets.

wall grafiti.

Midnight Escapade

2009-08-05T13:52:00.000-07:00

I've finally discovered why I find clubbing in Auckland a little over bearing to the point of non enjoyment. My floor mates and I headed to Cassette again last night for their cheap teapots. Seriously. I don't know how they come up with a miraculous concoction within minutes and how the taste of alcohol is so "hidden". If all alcoholic beverages tasted as good, I'd be a drunkard without inhibitions.

After teapots, we were off to Margies for some serious booty shaking. I didn't want to go at first. In fact, I wasn't going up until the very last minute. The idea of clubbing alone is daunting. And on a very wintery week night! That seemed pretty absurd in my books. But everyone was complaining about how I never seemed to spend time with them or never hang out in the common room enough. They prolly just wanted the numbers. lol. And since Melzers was going, and there was a chance that the new hotstuff on the floor would be seen around, I decided to wing it and just go.

Our night out turned out to be better than most nights I've had with them but still not up to par yet.

So, as I was saying, reason number one for my not having an affinity for clubbing in NZ - you never know what to wear. It's always a battle between trying to look your most appealing and making sure you're warm enough when you hit that cold wet road. Hence, revealing tops are normally chucked in a mountainous pile on the bed (coincides with reason no 2 : the mess you get back to when the night is over) and everyone slips into one of those cardigan thinga majigs. Notice the trend.....

this picture is here coz i'm a self professed cam whore. N to exhibit my chunky thighs to the world. =D i shan't complain. I am proud of them. =P

At Cassette. I shall hereby use nicknames. I wouldn't wanna be part of the scandalous drama on my floor From left, leaderOFthePack, Melzers, Jess, Pleasantville and Me.

nice one!

reason number 3 : a distinction between violation and being polite ceases to exist. apparently if someone wants to pass by behind you, it's ok for them to put their arms around your waist/back/bum and slowly shuffle you out of their way. to me, that's violation. it's also ok for people to caress you on the dance floor. unless it exceeds 5 minutes. in which case you can kick him in the balls.

reason number 4 : I am short. so instead of dancing and moving about in a sea of eye candy, I am more often than not, dancing and moving around in a sea of boobies. wearing high heels in auckland is not an option. And caucasian women are really tall. And they have no qualms exposing a generous portion of cleavage that's apparent in a headlight kinda way. which means, more often than not, i find myself face to face with pale looking boobs in the form of all shapes and sizes. lucky me! now. if only i was a boy.

since we were both thrifty, melzers and I shared a teapot and ended up paying NZD 4 each. we took some tropical concoction which tasted a tad coconut-y.

Sometimes I wish I had Jacob'shair. Or height.

Me, Melzers and Rach. Reason 5 : it's never fun if you're not drunk enough. coz everyone is drunk and high and act like nothing they ever do will come back to haunt them. I, on the other hand, am almost never too drunk. At least not with these guys. Reflects the immaculate trust I have in people aye? LOLs. Bottom line is, to have enough fun you have to be so outta it that the only thing that matters to you is nothing really.

Melzers, goldenBoy and Rach.

Reason 6 : It'll just never be the same......

Ok. No more clubbing on weekday nights. I need to make up for lost time now. Have a splendid day!

ps : Melitta and I went to the Philson Library to study for three hours before our escapade. Just so you know =D

Cass's Burfday

2009-08-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

MANYYYYY happy returns of the day Cassie Kok Kwee Tze!!!!

hope you have the mostest specialest 21st in the whole wide world.........

friends like you are so worth having =D

mwah <3!

Unexpected Expectations

2009-07-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

so. the week was crazy to put it in simple terms. and i absolutely loved everything about it. all the mini coincidences that took me by surprise. the tiny stumbles. leaving little crumbles. the conversations. and echoing laughter. the thrills and frills. it was like a little wrapped package of surprises one day after another. or like yummy Hershey Kisses tumbling out of an automatically refillable wrapped bottle.

Invitations to this and that have been pouring in. I jump at the chance to be included in the free ones. The ones that require a fee make me hold onto my cash tightly. But then again, you can never be too conscious of the leak...

It's also that time of the semester again where UMSA is on a roll with it's events. Dessert Night was on Friday followed by cultural mosaic in the morning. Had fun at both. The ball is a month away with heaps of preparation on the agenda. I'm on the marketing team which means publicising the event - posters, tickets, seating plan. the works. AND as usual, we're doing the whole skit thing again only this time with more songs and longer =O So rehearsals are inevitable. Jie Huei recently choreographed a simple Jai Ho dance for the committee to perform. Am loving it =D

Followed Melitta to Sorrento in the Park up on One Tree Hill for her job interview on Saturday. It's the perfect place to hold wedding receptions and she was being interviewed for a waitressing position. I kinda wanted to try out as well but they had already filled all the positions when i e mailed them just a couple of days after she did. Ah well. Just my luck I suppose.

went to one of those little cafes which i absolutely adore just before her interview coz we had an hour to kill.

she shouted my soy mocha!!! happiness! I love NZ for all it's scattered quaint little cafes! and i LOVE savouring the foam on top of my beverages before letting it wash down my throat =)

Entrance to Sorrento

Lovely setting within the park.

BacktoBasics

2009-07-24T01:15:00.000-07:00

Wanna know why people grow fat in Auckland? Precisely coz of this....... one serving size here is sufficient to feed four starving children in Africa....

Had dinner at barbeque king with Su Lyn on thursday. An outing that made me realize how many such similar ones would remain a priviledge in the future. Coz not only did I successfully waste all the rice that settled beneath the nutritious fish, tofu, vege and pork toppings but also coz I've now resorted to using cash instead of my eftpos card in a desperate attempt to scrimp and save. Left me feeling full tho, and not in a bad way either.

This was Su Lyn's chicken something something. Clearly I was paying more attention to what she had to say than what went into her mouth. And a good thing too coz our meeting on thursday was loooonnngggggg overdue.

Auckland skies as I was transported back to Huia after my ten hour flight. I was accused of escaping winter. Guilty as charged. I returned to a rather refreshing sort of coolness that got out of hand every once in a while. Apart from the rough rainfall that attacked my window last night, I have established peace with the weather here. It's been behaving.

It still feels like I'm walking in a cloudy suspension though. I've been thinking. And after speaking to my mum last night, I think maybe I really should shorten my degree here for a bit. Now that I think of it, a conjoint is pretty pointless considering I can do a double major in both psychology and economics via an arts degree and finish off in three years. And THEN i could think about doing my masters instead. If you're reading this mumsy, I'm sorry you heard it through the blog first. Will call you as soon as I've gathered sufficient information that would be of importance to our finances. And yes. I will have no BSc to parade around and only a BA to be proud of which is every Asian person's nightmare but who cares about every asian person.

Which brings me to another concern. Today I went into the kitchen, I hesitantly peeked into my basket. and I emphasize hesitantly coz of the premonition that had wrapped itself around my head. And yes. Just as I predicted. Beloved pot, GONE. Normally I would be pissed. Normally, I'd try putting a hex on the person who asked for the hex to be put on him/her. Normally, I'd sprint out to make an impulse voodoo doll purchase so I could puncture it with acupuncturesque needles. Normally. But today I just didn't care. It felt liberating.

No. I am not going to buy another pot and give them the liberty of taking it. I am just going to make do with what's in there. Perhaps someone forgot to inform me that all kitchen utensils were to be shared. Now that I know, gladly.... =D

What else have I been doing since I got here? Attending hat parties. Coming up with poster ideas for the UMSA Ball. Hunting down designers to come up with the posters. Hanging out. Hanging in. Sniffing my way around to siphon textbooks from other people. Living the boring life pretty much.

I shall end with the photo that he begged me not to put up on my blog. Sorreh Mr. Hamannop, for what it's worth, I think you rawkkkkk! hehehehhe Let's go on that walking trip now shall we?

There's always a first

2009-07-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

Turbulent. Right now that's what it is. I feel like talking about it is not an option coz it drives me deeper and deeper into a state of depression. It's better to just disregard the issue and the burden that comes with it.

The good that's come out of it? Carelessness. Well. At least I see it as a good thing for now. You could take a knife and stab it right through my heart and I would feel nothing. I think the confusion acts as an anasthaethic. There is so much of it. Stuff that I cannot fathom. Thoughts that are too scary to think about. Brushed aside... Because the more you get me to talk about it, the more I want to run away.

I don't know how it got to this, neither do I know why. I just know how I feel right now. And for the first time in my life, I feel completely lost. alone. insecure. and this time there is absolutely no one there to tell me that it will pass. no God. no parents. no significant other. no mentor. no friend or foe.

the question that lingers is : why, of all people, did you have to flee? Goes to prove that everyone always does leave. Well, they leave me at least.

Control

2009-06-15T23:19:00.000-07:00

I wish I didn't feel like I had to be in control of everything all the time. Aiyo. Exam stress la.

HumDrum

2009-06-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

If I didn't know better, I'd think Auckland is a town for joggers. I don't know how these people have the will and determination to wake up at the crack of dawn and run down the city with their Nikes or Reeboks or whatever it is they wear right in the middle of winter! And speaking of winter, I don't know what's wrong with it! Somedays it's just below 2 degrees and other days you just wanna throw off your coat and run with the wind.

Anyhowzah, things have been good. I just wish my attention span was longer and I didn't sleep so much. That way, I'd be able to maximize my study hours.

I watched Transformers for the 2nd time yesterday. Please don't ask me why. What I will tell you is I enjoyed it more this time around. Perhaps it was the company. Or perhaps it was coz I was so tired from all the studying that watching vehicles transform into autobots was the best damn thing that had happened to me all week.

Whatever the case, I can hardly wait to........

Return Home..... =) it has been ONE LONG semester!

....stop looking at powerpoint slides.. eek.

OR bother about neuroimaging studies.... like wtf man.

and bloody bugger, I need to stop taking pictures of my distorted faces whenever I get bored.

off to the library now. wooooh. Exciting!

&^%&^%^$^%$%^%$$$&(@&(#&(#!!!!

2009-06-05T04:59:00.000-07:00

I am very frustrated right now. Even a trip down to chocolate boutique and then a detour to the arcade with Andrew, Hamannop and Adelynn didn't cut it for me. I didn't get my biopsych essay back today. While all my friends went on and on about how well/badly they had done, I was left stressing about where MY essay had disappeared to.

Never in a thousand years did I expect myself to get into trouble with authority. But I don't have a good feeling this time around. I feel like shouting "fuck the world" from atop a roof somewhere. But I can't. My frustration is just pent up within my tiny balls of fists. Waiting to explode. All I can think of was perhaps I didn't include enough in text citations and now they're going to penalize me for plagiarism. And this is one paper I have to do well in! Knowing that there is a possibility that I might fail is just killing me. You have NO idea. Absolutely no idea. My paranoia has reached fatal levels. I feel like as if I am grappling with impossibility. Hanging on for dear life onto nothing.

What I don't bloody understand is, why leave me in the dark? If I did something wrong, just freaking tell me already. Don't send me from one person to another and then tell me to make an appointment with my lecturer to 'discuss' my essay. eff the world, seriously! I'd think the psychology dept would have more sense than that. How can you just mess with someone during a study break, leave her in the dark and expect a weekend to go by without her freaking out about whether or not she will be failing her core paper?!?!? that is insane ok. How am i supposed to concentrate on anything else? And study. For my other papers?!?

This has never happened to me before. I am now officially shaken to my core, afraid, overwhelmed with anxiety, agitated. you name it. And all I CAN do at this point is wait for my lecturer to get in touch with me. If you're reading this, please say a prayer for me. Coz I think I damn well will be needing it.

verdict will be reported soon. stay tuned.

the now

2009-06-04T01:54:00.000-07:00

somebody used my pot today. to make their spaghetti and i am so freaking pissed. coz that pot was freaking expensive n them leaving it on the sink meant it ran the risk of being discarded in the discard room downstairs where all the other discarded utensils are. n then i realized. omg. karma works in the most amazing of ways. coz i have done some of those things in the past. n just like that my anger subsided. fizzle.

somebody walked into my room today with his/her stinky feet. all this while i was trying to figure out why my room smelled like sock pudding. n when i couldn't figure it out. when i was just too tired to figure it out. i bought an air freshner for my room. so it'd smell like lavendar. n today, that someone walked in again. n for a moment my room smelled like sock pudding. ironically, this person, on whom the smell lingered, was the one person who would not shut up about the smell. but today was different. as soon as i was left alone, the smell was gone. n all that remained was lavendar air freshener. =D

someone asked me out for coffee today. I didn't feel like coffee. but me being me, I craved the attention. n so I hopped along to the coffee shop for a shot of attention. n as i sat there, i felt myself float toward the ceiling and look down at myself. why was i putting myself through this. there was no rush. was a compromise really necessary. and then. just right at that moment. when all those thoughts were flooding my mind. the other walked past. i saw him through the glass window. i'd recognize that face anywhere. those sculpted shoulders, towering over toned abs and tanned arms. yummy. yuck. look at me with all these forbidden thoughts.

yet, his presence left me with a deep sense of curiosity. how he remained so unperturbed in my presence. not a even a flinch where a few others failed to exert composure. the suaveness. the unrelenting silence. the furrowed eyebrows that didn't even let out a whisper. the hint of neuroses. it was all too exciting. and i realized. that i would continue to long for things i could never have. maybe, it was the longing that kept me on my feet. =0 what's frustrating is. i could just have this one in the bag if i wanted it bad enough. so close yet so far away. still. i question myself. is this really something that I want?

Coz there ARE things that I know that i REALLY do want. Like, for instance, getting into the neuropsych class for stage 3 of my degree. I know i really want to study the brain further. no matter how sciencey. but this is no easy feat. 5.0. that's what my GPA should be. and i expect to be surrounded by geniuses if i do gain access. thing is. i am no genius. i thrive solely on sheer hard work. will sheer hardwork make the cut? that's something else i have to think about.

for now. there're the exams to keep my thoughts occupied. n malaysia to look forward to. and i pray to God that nothing else will intrude.

<3s

2009-05-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

I LOVE game theory and application in Economics!!!!

coz it allows me to see the beauty of the first few minutes and the last few minutes of the Dark Knight (Batman)

coz it tells me so much about why all those small parties are hugely important when it comes to an election.

coz i now see John Nash for the genius that he was and not the schizophrenic that he turned out to be.

coz i never thought i'd b learning about war strategies and escape routes and selection preferences but I ammmm.

coz it's real life applications are vast and boundless.....

coz i suddenly feel like a secret agent.

Road to Perdition

2009-05-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

I got back from uni on saturday after semi completing a game theory assignment with wei-yuen and saw this white box with a red cross stamped on the front of it just outside my room. suspiciously, i dug into it and found lemsip, a strepsil and an apricot flavoured granola bar together with a note from Kailas! The girl is so sweeeeeeeet! She knew I was sick so she went ahead and put together a care package for me. Just when you think people like this don't exist in the world today, reality defies it....

the note that came with the box

Kailas is awesome!!!

Anyhowzah, i'm pretty glad my assignment load has lightened with only one left for submission. I still have a couple of things to do, like STUDY for example. One month to finals. In fact, less tha one month. I have to reapply for my student visa. And then for my holiday visa. And book my tickets to Perth. Things get ticked off the list but new additions are inevitable...

Apart from falling sick, I'm also dealing with a bout of personal problems. Is this month some sorta mating month? I thought when these problems came along, I'd immediatly know what to do. And I'd most definitely relish the feelings that came with it. But nothing can be further from the truth. Coz most of the time, I am concerned about not hurting others which makes me compromise my feelings a lot.

ah well. just to forget it all, I agreed to follow Adelynn and Shoggi on their mission to the bay late saturday night. Mind you, the journey takes half an hour on a bus so us deciding to walk there was actually pretty crazy la. Especially in the freezing weather that seems to haunt auckland these days.

starting our journey, this was taken in front of grafton bridge where construction is in abundance. Adelynn was sposed to be in te picture but she cut herself out.. lol

you're free to behave as you like in auckland after a certain time on saturday nights coz practically everyone is drunk.... our attempt at blending in

yea babey, we so ghettoooo

Adelynn and the Hamannop with my cell phone as out make believe jukebox....

The dude cracks me up ALLLLL the freaking time!

the sign says Mission Bay.... this was on the motorway

the beginning of the coastal drive

Adelynn's crazy hyper!

see what i mean?

water in the back drop....

=)

they have fountains where we can refill our water bottles... possibly for the early morning joggers.

late night elopers...

hehe...

leaving the city behind....

our attempt at jumping shots : FAIL

with a make shift kayak

we wanna hire skates!!!

lol. my attempts at posing humiliate me!!

awww! this was after two hours of walking when we had to take a break coz Adelynn pulled a muscle.

but she wasn't deterred in her hyperness.

last photo of the day, at least in my camera. my hands were numb at this point. approximately three hours of walking.....

Mission to the bay : semi success.

reflections of a stressaholicomolic

2009-05-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

you know what, i'm beginning to think that i am the sort of person who cannot handle stress. I will sink at the feet of evolution. i will be selected against amongst man kind. i will teeter at the edge and fall outwards.

this month alone has been hell. hell brought upon me by myself. poor time management. sleeping too much. taking things for granted. it ALL came back to bite me. accepting friendships that came in a parcel with a prerequisite stamped on it. plunging head first into murky waters. going against what i knew was right. it all comes back. karma is a bitch. yet if you ask me what i would have done differently had i had a chance to go back in time, i'd tell you i didn't know. think about it. if the human race had a time machine, would anything have been different? i'd say no. the holocaust would still happen. the wars would be as they were. history would go down the same way. saying things would be different if given a second chance is easy. doing them is another thing altogether. we are given too many chances.

i suppose the reason i don't write about the dark side too much is because i choose to remain an optimist. but if i were to tell you that life here is a breeze with no obscurities, would you believe me? I'd call you a fool if you did. people, problems, pickles. it all comes in a package. some complain about it (ie: me), others hide it, and yet others march sturdily into it. People deal in so many different ways. which is precisely why i believe that i would be selected against.

in the past month i've not slept a few days in one go and survived it. i've handed in assignments seconds before pick up. i've changed my 'study hard' method for 'study smart and nothing more'. i've eaten rubbish and not cared. i've not visited the gym a few days in a row. i've lost friends and taken pleasure in loneliness. i've had a panic attack more than once. i've come to believe that i may have had swine flu at least once. i've been at the losing end more than i thought i would.

but what i've learnt is priceless. things i can never list down. things i merely remember. things that will help me be selected for. i am never going to wish that i could go back into the past and change things ever again. i've decided that learning from the past is the best thing you can give to your present. the past is the only reason i hang on, to the thread that is fraying, being gnawed away by some grim mouse on chapel street.

back to eco assignment now. where graphs rule and heroes drool.

2009-05-13T03:59:00.000-07:00

three words : call me sexayyyyyyyyyyy!